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The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
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Dragon Fogel
 RE: The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
Post: #226
The Goddamn Pacman

Posts: 7,825
Joined: Jul 2011
Name: Penelope
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Text Color: #2E8B57
Biography: Aye, I know that woman. She was on our crew for a while. 'Twas a rainy night when she came to us, and she was drenched. Said she'd gotten mixed up in an arranged marriage, and she wanted to get out before her new in-laws could find where she was.
Seemed a bit odd, really. She looked too shabby to be involved with anyone who could afford to chase after her. Still, she had some good coin on her, so the captain agreed. Provided she helped out on the ship in the meantime, of course.
We called her Penny at first, but she soon made it clear she didn't care for that name. Might not have thought it to look at her, but she was a fierce one when she got angry. Floored the first mate in an instant.
That's when the captain asked if she wanted to be a pirate.
We only brought Penelope along on one raid. 'Twas a few months after she came to use. We'd heard that a ship was passing through our waters with valuable cargo. So we readied ourselves to ambush them.
And Penelope more than pulled her weight in that raid, let me tell ye. Never seen anyone, man or woman, wield a cutlass like she did. She practically handled half the fightin' herself.
The captain was so pleased he offered her first pick of the cargo. Which turned out to be just a big pile of bedding. Cap'n apologized for the mistake, said he'd defer it to next raid, but she wouldn't have it. If this was what they had to plunder, she was going to plunder it. Besides, she figured, it was probably at least expensive bedding.
So she took twenty mattresses and twenty feather-beds. Didn't trust us not to dirty 'em up if they were in the hold, so Penelope just stuffed 'em into her cabin. Said she'd sleep on 'em until a good chance to sell came along.
And that was it for a few weeks or so. We were stopping in a foreign port, hopin' to get rid of stuff that might cause us trouble later.
Except, right in the middle of the night, Penny runs out of her room and into the kitchen, and starts threatenin' the chef. She's miffed because one single pea got under all her beddin', and seems it was keepin' her up. Can you believe it?
Well. We calmed her down, hoped that was the end of it. But when we checked on her in the morning, she was gone.
So were the mattresses, at that.

Description: Penelope wasn't a bad-looking lass, though she always dressed simply. I remember she complained about high society ladies, always bein' focused on appearances. Seemed like a real sore point with her, though I couldn't say why.
Even when she joined the crew, she took the filthiest rags she could find and wore those. Can't say it hurt her in that fight, though. I'd give my last tooth to be half that agile.
Still, I couldn't help but get the sense she was hidin' something. When she wasn't mad, she was damned polite. Really, it was a little unnervin' when you consider we pirates are usually a rude bunch.
'Course, as I said. When she got mad, she got real mad. Wouldn't matter how many apologies you offered, at least not until she'd given you a good thrashing.

Weapons and Abilities: Aye, a real fierce fighter, she was. Don't know where she learned to swordfight, but she was amazin'. And not half-bad with just her fists. Hells, I think she just has a knack for fightin', wouldn't surprise me if she could pick up any old weapon and be decent with it. But I couldn't tell ye for sure.
And that was when she was calm! When you got that woman mad, my, my, she became an unstoppable beast. Aye, the poor chef was scared out of his wits for weeks afterwards. Half-convinced she'd pop up again and ambush him.
No idea where she is now. Probably sold those mattresses, I can't imagine it'd do her much good to keep luggin' them around.
Still can't believe she felt one single pea under all that mess. That's amazin'. Must have some real sensitive skin, I suppose.

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-01-2017 12:08 AM
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 RE: The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
Post: #227
that escalated quickly

Posts: 4,260
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
Username: Agennumbers
Name: That One Bit (Bit for short)
Species: Helpful Impossibility
Gender: None
Color: beep

Description: Hello! I am part of the Individualized Computational Universe Project, initialized... initialized... initialized...

I'm sorry! I don't think I can find that data for you right now! Please let us know of any other inquiries you may need to know at one of our helpful red and blue cube-interfaces!

Items/Abilities: The red and green ones are for materials synthesis, the red and purple ones are for materials collection and analysis, and the red and yellow ones are for communications!

I'm sorry! Communications seem to be down at the moment! We will be investigating this problem as soon as we can!

Biography: I'm sorry! I don't know why communications are down! Your UNIVERSE does not appear to be COMPATIBLE with our MATHEMATICAL MATHEMATICAL MATHEMATICAL MATHEMATICAL MATHEMATICAL D-descent rate transverse constants WRONG WRONG WRONG 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 and a BIT BIT BIT BIT BIT BIT BIT not COMPATIBLE not COMPATIBLE YOUR DIMENSIONS ARE WRONG WRONG WRONG cannot FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT FIT

I'm sorry! I don't think we can work together! Please hand over your belongings for analysis to the nearest red and purple cube-interface! CUBE CUBE CUBE SPHERE CUBE Please hand over your belongings! CONVERSION RATE: 0?% RATE OF CONVERSION TO CORRECT CONSTANTS: 0/% 3 and a BIT BIT BIT 141 Please hand over your belongings! Please hand over your BELONGINGS THIS IS NOT A CHOICE PLEASE HAND OVER YOUR BIT BIT BIT YOU ARE WRONG YOUR UNIVERSE IS WRONG

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-02-2017 04:10 AM
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 RE: The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
Post: #228
Sol Heir

Posts: 237
Joined: Dec 2011
Username: seedbeard
Name: Josie
Species: Shoulder-perching Macaw
Gender: eggs
Color: pretty green feathers

Biography: When the Pirate-Lord of the Eastern Sea, old Jack Canterbury himself died, stabbed through the heart seven times by the navy's bayonets, they said his parrot, his favorite Josie, took straight off and flew away, despite that they were in the middle of the ocean and there was no land for leagues. They say how young Adelaide White got her start is, it found her, sent by her dead master to reach his true successor and whisper all his secrets into their ear. And after all, she did have the ruby signet-ring that Jack himself hacked off the Bloody Duke's finger. When she finally went to the gallows, the bird landed on the frame, cawed once, and flew off amid the gunfire.

It disappears for a bit here, or at least the more myopic historians say so. Around this time, the Western Sea's Broken Strait is troubled by the Green Fleet, whose general was said to possess a green bird unlike any seen in the area. Half the world away from Slatecliff, but then this parrot did fly out over the ocean at one point.

A decade later we see Copper Kelly, the last of the great pirates. Green bird on her shoulder, just like the old days. When her ships were chased into that hurricane, never to be found again, well, that's when most historians say the Age of Piracy ended. The conspiracy theorists say that's when the bird finally died. Me, well...I think it just hasn't found the right person yet.

Abilities: Josie knows what you want, that unfettered greed, gluttony, lust for glory and power deep in your heart. She knows how easy it would be for you to get it.
(This post was last modified: 07-04-2017 04:55 AM by seedy.)
07-04-2017 04:54 AM
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 RE: The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
Post: #229
Patron Saint of Normcore

Posts: 6,581
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Nippon
Username: Skay-Zer
Name: Riposte
Species: Metahuman
Gender: Digital Rebrolution
Color: Cybergrimes

Description: A strapping young elf with aggressively awesome hair and urban warpaint, the kind that breaks your face up so the cameras can't grok your facial features. Riposte's eyes shine an unnatural flickering blue, and cables and panels seem to sprout from behind his ears like a beautiful shitty halo. A couple of cables dangle down to each hip, where a boxy projector-like device sits. His lower left arm is an off-the-shelf mechanical prosthetic, kitted up with air-keyboard recognition sensors on his fingers and stripes of news tickers. It's a really nice bunch of upgrades, made by some really nice friends of his who probably want their shit back.

Riposte completes his look with a bandanna covering his lower face, black hooded sweater with one-way transparency in the hood lining, sturdy workin boots, and a duffel bag strapped tightly to his back.

Biography: <Stricken from the archives, later vandalized by the former "friends" Riposte left in the lurch>

Weapons/Abilities: Riposte's stolen some very, very fancy technology from some folks who would do a lot of murder to get it back, which gives him the ability to make an encrypted copy of any audio, physical object, or two-dimensional visual (for the duration he can focus his oculars on it). A duffel bag full of grape-sized sticky projectors, keyed to the encryption, can each be sync'd with a single probably-illegal download and made to broadcast it - physical objects are re-broadcasted as holograms.

Also he's got a gun because who doesn't in this day and age

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
07-07-2017 08:10 AM
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 RE: The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 27: PIRATE!
Post: #230

Posts: 1,741
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Strudel Central
(Finally) time for some judgement!

The Lucky VII All-Rounder Award goes to Dragon Fogel/Penelope for a generally solid pirate profile probably filled with bad puns I missed on top of the ones I did catch.

The The Thomas Packston Elementalist Award goes to Pharmacy/Pirate Queen-Duchess Rhubarb Apple-Crisp III, Consumer of Confections, Nemesis of Felines, Vanquisher of Men, Okay-Writer of Love Songs, SCOURGE OF THE CELESTIAL SEAS, Esq. for her quintessential pirate wrapped up in a small furry dream bundle.

The Glere Award For Kitchen Sinkery goes to Agen/That One Bit for a contestant that threw me for a loop and narrowly avoided a Krachting for that awful acronym.

The Arnold Fogge's Actually Practical Award goes to Schazer/Riposte for a presumably rude jocknerd who should do pretty well in the wild and varied setting of a battle with that magitech. Also, GUN.

The Convolution Teamfriendliness Cup goes to Seedy/Josie for the pirrot who just won't quit (cawing in other contestants' ears about how they DESERVE SO MUCH MORE).
Today 09:44 AM
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