The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 29: UNINTELLIGIBLE!

The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 29: UNINTELLIGIBLE!
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Oh. Right. There was a new theme, but the thread title never got changed.

Well, I'll try to whip up a profile based on a terrible pun in the next few days, probably.
Name: Connie Schumer
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Text Color: Focus groups found #35BDEF to be the most appropriate color for the requested task.

Biography: Connie is an Information Systems Manager at Integrated Conglomerate Co. Inc., which is at the forefront of the industry. (Exactly which industry that is, no one is entirely sure.) Connie is a proactive and energetic employee who is talented at leveraging the strengths of others. (She makes everyone else do all the work and then claims all the credit.)

Connie's duties involve making sure that ICCI's customer data is up-to-date and properly communicating with other departments. (She's in charge of data mining.) Connie's behavior in this position has been exemplary. (We don't actually understand what she does, but it makes us lots of money and that's what counts.)

Unfortunately, though Connie has been a model employee, we cannot recommend a raise in salary at this time. (We want that money for ourselves.) Nevertheless, we look forward to continuing to work with her in the future. (We'll keep her on at the same salary until we can find someone who works for less.)

ADDENDUM: Connie cannot be located. She is nowhere in the building, and has not been seen at her home in two days. This is extremely unprofessional and we are very disappointed in her. (We wrote up this whole stinkin' evaluation for nothing.)

Weapons and Abilities: Connie is pretty much a perfectly ordinary woman. She's okay with computers, but no expert.

What she's really good at is convincing people that she's more skilled than she actually is. Usually this involves getting somebody else to do the actual work. This may not seem particularly applicable to a battle to the death, but Connie is willing to adapt her talents to new situations.

Description: Connie is a middle-aged woman in a business suit. She's used to navigating the corporate workplace and basically treats everything as an extension of it. Most of her conversation consists of meaningless business metaphors and corporate buzzwords.

She looks forward to participating in this highly competitive environment and intends to demonstrate her full potential. Though she wishes her potential competitors the best, she fully expects to prove herself the most suitable candidate.

She is definitely not terrified for her life and desperately trying to hide her fear. No, definitely not.
I'd say reset the week deadline as of now, people were inevitably not going to be very productive over the Solarisolstice?

Goes with the title change etc.
As the sole entrant right now, I am in support of this.

We already had a week where I won everything by default, and let's face it, it's going to be hard to top this on presentation.
Fogel wins.

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And so with great aplomb I was conscripted into this clusterfuck.

Your new theme is Plane.

Also there may be secret prizes.
Name: Jane
Race: Human
Gender: Female
Text Color: Black
Biography: Jane's life was a pretty ordinary one. Born to ordinary parents in an ordinary small town, went to an ordinary school and learned ordinary lessons from ordinary teachers, made ordinary friends and ordinary rivals, and just all around did nothing out of the ordinary.
It was extremely boring, but Jane didn't mind because she didn't realize there was any other way life could be.
That is, until something fell out of the sky and landed right in front of her on one of her ordinary walks.
Obviously, she hadn't seen anything like it before, because it was very much not ordinary. But as she looked closer, she realized it could fly.
She realized this because she pressed a button that was the most ordinary-looking thing on it and it suddenly took off into the air, with her clinging to it.
Desperately, she tried using the other controls in hopes of landing, but none of them seemed to do anything. Except for one lever that made a very much not-ordinary thing appear in the sky ahead.
When the not-ordinary object flew through it, suddenly Jane found herself in another world. A very empty world, with nothing but rolling fields of grass that seemed to go on forever.
Jane finally tried pressing the button again, and the object slowly came to a halt on the ground. A flick of the lever made the not-ordinary gate open again, and Jane cautiously peered through, to find herself back home.
Of course, popping out in the middle of a street carrying a strange metal object tended to make you not seem so ordinary, and people started pretending Jane had never existed because they were having trouble understanding the idea that things couldn't be ordinary.
So Jane just sat around trying to figure out how the device worked, until both she and it disappeared, and this time it wasn't to the endless field of grass.

Description: Jane is an ordinary-looking girl, if you don't count the metal contraption slung over her shoulder. It's close to her size, but surprisingly light.
Ever since she found the device, she's learned as much as she can about how exactly it manages to fly, and is quite happy to tell anyone she can find what she knows, whether they want to hear it or not. Outside of that, though, she tends to be in a bad mood, probably brought about by the fact that her entire hometown started ignoring her, and often gripes about even the smallest of things.

Weapons and Abilities: Jane has a light flying device that's about her size. It has a wide variety of controls on it, most of which don't seem to do anything. Jane wonders if it's broken.
The only things she's been able to get it to do are fly and travel to the strange world of an endless field that stretches in all dimensions. Well, she can also get it to land and return from the endless field, but that's pretty much it.
Name: Ortis, Akross, and Bird
Race: Human, guardian, guardian
Gender: Male, masculine, unknown
Text Color: see me after class

Description: Ortis is a gloomy-looking philosophy major, who's pretty sure that isn't his actual name. He's a pretty normal looking 21st-century youth, with the kind of clothing that makes it clear he doesn't give much thought to dressing himself. Dark hair almost covers his eyes, and he's got just enough stubble that he's wondering again if he should go for a beard. (He shouldn't.)

Akross is a minotaur, or at least that's what Ortis thinks the guy is supposed to be. He's about a head and a half taller than Ortis, humanoid from the waist up, hoofed below, muscular, black in a way that seems to suck light into it, and has a gleaming axeblade where his head should be. Akross has a habit of standing either directly ahead of whichever where Ortis is facing, or standing in line with the small of Ortis' back. The former is annoying, but the creature seems to obey Ortis when he tells it to stay behind him.

Bird is a more nebulous creature, vaguely-avian vaguely-horrific-angelic vaguely-stellar, and black in a way that seems to leak darkness into its surrounds. It's also got an axe for a face, and spends most of its time hovering several feet above Ortis' head.

Biography: Ortis checked a cursed textbook out of a library one day, tried reading something somebody had scrolled in the margins, and now he's got two cool creatures that loom in his general vicinity. Nobody commented on them when they appeared, and when Ortis pointed them out everyone just kind of took it as a given. Ortis held onto the textbook, lied to the library pretending he'd lost it, and still hasn't coughed up the replacement fee, figuring he'd begrudgingly pay it off right before graduation. Guess he's getting that fee waived, because he's been grandbattl'd!

Weapons/Abilities: Ortis tried karate in elementary school, and quit after three lessons, which is about the extent of his combat prowess. Akross is a much more capable fighter, able to materialise a battleaxe at will when it anticipates that Ortis is in danger. Bird warns the two of more distant threats it spots (in a language Ortis understands without knowing how), but its movements are restricted to the space directly above Ortis, like a balloon changing its elevation.

Ortis can command the two to shift their position on the rails they seem to be locked to, and can ostensibly learn more about them in the textbook he carries everywhere if he could be goddamn bothered. Barely-legible footnotes seem to describe how to "coordinate" the pair, advising a reader to "check the notes". (The Notes pages are blank, Ortis did check that much.)

The book's defiler did write the pair's names in a weird alphabet, though only Akross' was legible as an actual name - what must've been Bird's name was, best as Ortis could decipher it, was "He Is In A Sky." Said notes also seem to speculate on a third entity, though it was written with either a lot of excited S's or a lot of question marks, and moreover, Ortis has never seen it.
Username: DOCKING AT PORT 20
Name: Victory.
Species: Supermarine Spitfire.
Gender: She.
Color: Victory.

Biography: Victory was deployed in world war II against the germans. Victories pilot head was shot clean off but Victory finished the mission anyway, with style I might add. Victory has since been seen fighting in wars across the world.

Description: A Supermarine Spitfire with many bullet holes and no covering on the cockpit. Missing landing gear.

Weapons/Abilities: Never seems to run out of fuel. Never seems to run out of bullets either, it's a bit of a worry.
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Username: Ixcaliber
Name: “Cammie”
Gender: Female
Species: Unbound Elemental
Colour: variable
Biography: Cammie’s first memory is of the crushing darkness of the elemental plane of gravity; one of the most inhospitable elemental realms, nothing resides in this bleak realm but silence and force strong enough to pull a person apart.

Cammie somehow managed to escape from the elemental plane of gravity, though she did not manage to escape whole. Elementals are made of two parts: their essence; the flames of a fire elemental, the swirling winds of an air elemental etc, and their core; their very heart contained deep within them. Cammie lost her essence; even her core did not escape undamaged; as evidenced from the memory loss and the erraticism she has demonstrated ever since.

Cammie washed up in the elemental plane of water, and in her first few moments there she found herself suddenly infused with the power of water. Her missing essence had replenished itself with the elemental energy of the realm. Her body was a clear blue liquid fashioned into a faintly familiar shape.

As she travelled, directionless, across the planes she found her essence would shift and adapt to whatever plane she was in. She wondered whether this was a natural response for an essence that had been forcibly stripped, or perhaps whether she had taken a little of the plane of gravity into herself. She had no way of knowing the workings of the thing, short of presenting herself to an electric plane scientist for testing, and she had absolutely no desire to put herself through such an ordeal.

So, she travelled. She had a faint goal of perhaps learning who she had once been before the plane of gravity had stolen her past, but held out little hope of doing so. As she travelled she gained a reputation for her unique talent, and whilst drinking in a run-down bar in the elemental plane of poison she was approached by a metal elemental. She was a slender silver lady with corners as sharp as blades and plates of burnished black armour welded to her.

She introduced herself as the Marquisse Platinum; ‘ruler’ of the elemental plane of metal. A once proud realm of fierce warriors who had been conquered by the combined might of the planes of Fire, Earth, Air and Water. The Marquisse stood as their puppet, there to uphold their rule simply because it was better than letting the war continue and seeing more and more of her kinsmen die.

During her travels Cammie had noticed that these four realms, going under the banner of the Classical Realms, had been staking a claim far and wide across the planes. They waged a war right now in the distant elemental plane of shadow.

The Marquisse Platinum had a proposition for Cammie; that she use her unique ability to blend with a realm to infiltrate the Classical Planes and learn as much as she could, so that when the time was right they might move against the Classical Realms with confidence.

Cammie was considering this proposition when she was taken away from that conflict and brought into another.

Description: Cammie looks different in every world she visits but she maintains a consistent shape; slim and short (by elemental standards, probably pretty tall and bulky by human standards), visibly feminine with a handsome face and shining white eyes.

Her personality is at least a little affected by the elemental essence she has taken in; for example becoming brash and hotheaded when she is a fire elemental, etc. Some aspects of her personality are consistent however; she is distant

Items/Abilities: Whenever Cammie enters a new world her essence is filled with the elemental energy of that world and she gains a limited control over that element. In worlds which are not elemental she’d likely draw from whatever energy is native to that world or a nearby energy source.
fyck phytybyckyt
Yeah okay I just realized I didn't put down a deadline on this thing. So, uh, it's what, 8 PM on the 10th of February?

You have 48 hours, I guess. 8PM (give or take a few hours) on the 12th. For me. Because fuck you, you make me convert time from your timezones.

Seeeecret priiiiizes.
Name: the Axiomatic Tiger

Race: Geometris euclid

Gender: An abstraction.

Color: Twisting, Turning.

Description: “The Axiomatic Tiger is apex predator living in the more tropical-analogous regions of Geometrica. It is imposing, twice as large as a mundane tiger, with a colorful pelt - a felid patchwork of magenta, chartreuse, and bright blue. The colors never seem to be blend, but rather slowly shift from one place to another. Despite its striking appearance, the Axiomatic Tiger is more often heard than seen. It is solitary and naturally wary of strangers, often preferring to blend into its chaotic home with the help of its twisting fractal-like stripes.” (Nemi, 1005)

Weapons/Abilities: “Members of the Geometris genus are characterized by prominent ridges on the maxilla and mandibles, which wildly vary between species to species, depending on their ecological niches. The facial ridges of Geometris euclid are molded into one set of prominent ‘canines’ tipped with blunt, shovel-like ends. The canine-ridges contributes to its unusual method of hunting, where it picks and pares a parcel of ground to the point of impossible even-ness. Anyone stepping in would realize themselves stuck as a spider in a bath-tub and eventually finished by Geometris euclid itself.” (Merlo, 975).

Biography: “Methodical application of magic was once thought to be a uniquely humanoid thing but now we know certain magical beasts have the capacity to do wizardry or at least, wizard-like spells. Case in point, the Axiomatic Tiger’s evening of the ground was much more complex than was once thought. Closer observation of the Axiomatic Tiger markings show subtle – but deliberate – tooth-markings that look remarkably analogous to arcane runes of transmutation. It is not known if the Axiomatic Tiger can produce other sorts of runes and if this characteristic is commonplace among the known subspecies (Geometris euclid euclid, Geometris euclid cartesis, Geometris euclid noneuclid) and perhaps, even among other related species in the Geometris family. Needless to say, the magical use of Axiomatic Tigers proves that magic and order is much more natural than we previously thought” (Sarkis, 1006).
So I went drinking tonight so if you have anything half finished post it before I wake up with a hangover. Nighty night y'all. :3atermelon
Must have been one hell of a night
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music begins, curtains rise

Okay okay so I ended up taking a ton of time on the secret prizes which are honestly not the best thing since sliced bread, but - oh well. Welcome back to the judging for the greatest Eagletime event since Necromancy Night,

The Grand OC

Five brave competitors have come together to produce fine profiles based on our amazing theme, Plane! They've waited grueling weeks to find out which of these amazing awards are going to be given to them in return for their hard work and toil. They've torn their hair out in despair as the fabled secret prizes promised by the Agen failed to appear, but now they need not tear any longer! Your barbers will be pleased!

Before we continue, let's just take a moment to reflect on the meaning that Grand OC has for us. Building characters and pitting them against each other is an inherent part of our lives and of Grand Battle culture. Creation is our forte and our joy, and we shouldn't let a lack of actual battles prevent us from honing our creative art. Let's just remember what Grand OC stands for: a place where our characters can be tested and grown before they depart into their very first battle. Whenever that may be.

So let us now, without further ado, proceed to the awards that mark the best of these contestants! Please open your first spoiler to find out who won...

Agen Wrote:The Thomas Packston Elementalist Award

The Glere Award for Kitchen Sinkery

The GBS2 Award for Gratuitous Worldbuilding

The Lucky VII All-Rounder Award

The Kracht Saw it Coming Award

The First Five Eigthths Sportsball Award


And that's all the prizes! Sorry for taking so long on these. I hope you've all enjoyed tonights awards ceremony (300% more diverse than the Oscars) and that you'll all consider joining again for the next theme of...

The Grand OC

lowers curtain, end music
Shitdamn, these were nice (sur)prizes Agen, thanks for putting the time in! Mine is perfect.

Ortis is from ortus, a Latin synonym for "origin",and the two better-known of his companions are from an old middle-school mnemonic I learned for labeling axes on charts:

X is a cross, and y's in "the sky"
Damn Agen this is really cool. Definitely worth the wait.

I only just realized looking back at the profile I paused whilst writing the description and never actually finished it. Whoops.

(Just in case it wasn't readily apparent Cammie is short for Chameleon.)
fyck phytybyckyt
Crying Eagle

e: I did try. I tried to make my profile as plain as possible.
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Go to mars, biggles
Alrighty folks, I'm jonesing for some sweet, sweet Original Character action, so prepared to be showered with praise if you can present to me, a profile that fits the theme of...

Is there a deadline for entries? er...entry number quota?
Generally the deadline is a week but actually having entries is preferable to, not that.

Get what you can in, and let us know a week out from my original post if you're anticipating delays but still want to write a thing up.
Name: The Boots of Torment
Species: Footwear
Gender: No stated preference
Text Color: Black as your sins.

Description: The Boots of Torment appear to be a perfectly ordinary pair of jet-black boots, although some people will insist they're the most comfortable-looking boots they've ever seen. They don't seem to have a lot of personality, as they just kind of sit there. Unless, of course, someone is wearing them, in which case they'll be on that person's feet. They're boots, this isn't complicated.

Weapons and abilities: These are clearly perfectly ordinary boots. They do not have the power to entice other beings into putting them on, even beings with nonstandard feet. And despite any rumors you may have heard, they do not immediately haunt the wearer with a mental reckoning of all their sins, including some that they haven't actually committed yet but are thinking about. It would be even more ridiculous to suggest that this hypothetical reckoning of sins is wholly disproportionate to the actual harm caused by said sins, treating such simple transgressions as taking one more cookie from the cookie jar as crimes against the entirety of sentient life.
Where was I? Oh, right, the boots. They're ordinary boots. I guess you could kick someone pretty hard with them. The boots can't really do that on their own, though.

Biography: It's a pair of boots. What kind of life story could they possibly have? They were made in a factory somewhere, now they're here, and some extradimensional entity decided to enter them in a battle to the death for some reason.
Although, huh. I don't see any indication of who the manufacturer is. Maybe they were just made by a local cobbler who didn't label their work. That's a much more reasonable explanation than that they were forged in the depths of Hell by Satan himself, I don't know where anyone would get that idea.
Username: Ixcaliber
Name: Maesi
Gender: Genderless, typically characterised as female
Species: Ocean Spirit
Colour: #0056F3
Biography: It was a long time ago, back when Isrit was a young and treacherous world. Back then the world was so full of life that the skies, the seas and the very land itself was alive. It was a time when felling a tree, drinking from an unfriendly stream, simply being out at the wrong time could make you the target of a hostile world spirit.

In time the natives of Isrit learned to tame their world. In some cases an unspoken agreement was reached with the world spirits. But in the circumstance that the world spirits that would not cooperate, the humans wouldn’t hesitate to seek out the ‘soul’ of the spirit, digging it from the hostile earth in the case of land spirits or shooting it out the clouds in the case of sky spirits, and obliterating it.

At this time when most of the world spirits had been subdued, ocean spirits still proved troublesome. No human had ever worked out how to obliterate the watery soul of an ocean spirit. No ocean spirit was as violent as Maesi. Those foolish enough to try to sail her were invariably sunk not long into their journey, their bodies pulled down into the deep blackness never to be seen again. On days where she felt particularly vindictive she would send tidal waves to batter any person or dwelling built too close to her self; her domain.

One day she felt a small raft floating out across her, it could have just been some driftwood but for the way it jostled and moved. Maesi brought her focus to the object, ready to drag whatever damn fool had thought themselves above her to their watery grave. She was surprised to discover a young girl, sobbing and shivering.

The girl stutted, averted her eyes to the poorly made raft and announced herself as an offering made to appease the vengeful ocean spirit. Maesi was furious, her waters suddenly tempestuous. The girl hung on for her life as the ocean raged around her, but after a moment this fury passed and she was still safe.

Maesi apologized for scaring the girl, who at Maesi’s behest introduced herself as Kaie, she was not furious at her, but at the men who had seen her as disposable, who had thrown her life away for their own benefit, who had thought that this act would somehow appease her.

Maesi in a rare moment of compassion offered Kaie a home in her depths; a world away from those who had done this to her, a world previously unseen by human eyes. Kaie accepted and for a while things were good; Maesi did her best to keep her waters comfortable for her guest, and to keep her safe and gradually they warmed to one another’s company. They grew closer and closer, more and more intimate until the day when Maesi guided Kaie to her soul. They did private things that are kind of difficult to fully articulate given the mechanics of the relationship.

That night as Maesi slept, Kaie lay awake indecisive. Finally, almost regretfully she forced herself to action, she took Maesi’s soul and dragged it to the surface. She swam all night, through exhaustion until finally she reached the shore and dragged Maesi’s soul out of the ocean she had so long inhabited.

Eventually, after some recuperation, Kaie brought the now helpless soul of Maesi to the nearest town. They tried everything they could think of to obliterate her soul but were unable to do any lasting damage to her. Eventually they decided to seal her up in a waterproof chest and bury her in the dry earth to ensure she could never be a threat again.

Its unclear how long Maesi spent trapped in that chest before being grabbed for a battle, time passes rather slowly when you’re an immobile sphere trapped in darkness. Lets just say it has not improved her temperament.

Items/Abilities: Can control any body of water her soul is present within.

Description: Maesi’s soul is a football sized cerulean sphere made of a sort of gel-like substance. Sometimes she will form a roughly human shaped ‘avatar’ out of whatever body of water she is currently occupying. It’s extremely rough, like think stick figure levels of detail here. Maesi’s kind of pissed off with the entirety of humanity and she’s really good at holding a grudge.
fyck phytybyckyt