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The Grand OC SII: The Re-OCening: Week 29: UNINTELLIGIBLE!
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AgentBlue
 RE: The Grand OC Season II: Week 3: FAILURE
#19
that escalated quickly

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Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess that lived on the top of a decommissioned Saturn V rocket. She was the ruler of all the lands she could survey, which she did with great enthusiasm; she owned her own theodolite and everything.

Then one day through the glass of a silver telescope repurposed from some PVC tubing and hand-ground lenses chipped from porthole glass, she saw in the distance a mighty dreadnought, a sprawling cold-fusion powered landship dragging its way across her kingdom, devouring her land and crops, belching black, acrid smoke into the air, and spewing out military encampments on the wasteland left behind. It was not very pleasant. She had suspected the neighboring warlike nation of Pyroclastia would strike them one day, and it now seemed to be that very hour.

So the princess sent out the call far and wide, broadcasting on all civilian channels, to rise up against the Pyroclastians and stop the mighty dreadnought from subsuming her kingdom. And lo, her call was heard by a brave farmhand, Areun by name, who hammered his plowshare into a F-22 Tomcat. Taking off into the sky in a roar of flame, he came soaring down towards the dreadnought's fragile command center/power plant in a blaze of missiles, lasers, and anti-aircraft fire. At the last moment, he ejected from his doomed plane, which plowed into the Pyroclastian high command and exploded them all. As he pulled his parachute, he discovered that plowshares do not have the spare linen to actually make parachutes, so he broke every bone in his body on landing and was, after a brief one-liner or two, very quickly dead.

The princess gave Areun many posthumous medals and, using technology stolen from the dreadnought, turned the kingdom into a paragon of efficiency and incidentally the dominant military power of the world, whereupon she turned evil and became the very thing she despised. Luckily, the ensuing revolution recommissioned her rocket tower and she was blasted into space, where she presumably landed on Alpha Centauri A.

Moral of the story: Wait, you mean this is for Grand OC?
07-17-2015, 02:16 PM
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RE: The Grand OC Season II: Week 3: FAILURE - by AgentBlue - 07-17-2015, 02:16 PM