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The 2am thread
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Schazer
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #801
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I'll do better. I'll sometimes lose my temper and apparently be a spiteful weight-throwing-around badmin in your shitty footsteps

But I'll try not to drag my feet on ever admitting if I stop giving a shit cuz people who look up to me (confused but thanks) deserve they much

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
03-30-2017 05:30 PM
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Schazer
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #802
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Whoops

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
04-08-2017 05:05 PM
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Schazer
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #803
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I've'm been expressing my anger and frustrations - from the relationship-wrecking to the excruciatingly petty - a lot easier of late, which I guess is an improvement on bottling that shit up and struggling to make my inevitable breakdown sound justified desite of how minor each of its constituent beefs are

The trouble is

I don't feel bad for being a jerk?

I have an acknowledgement of the fact I broke my own personal ethos/rules That Must Be Followed To B A Good Person

But without the capacity to engage in self-loathing I don't actually,emotionally respond to the above fact

It's in the abstract, and without the self-inflicted punishment it's just a game without a lose condition.
I'll keep playing by the rules but I'm "scared" (in the abstract) what will happen if it stops being a worthwhile challenge to me to live this way

If I get bored and move on to something else

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
04-08-2017 05:20 PM
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Schazer
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #804
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If my natural inclination when I'm happy is to be a prize asshole

I might be better off (happier, even) sad

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
04-08-2017 05:22 PM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #805
Lonely Rolling Star

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schazer you deserve to be happy and not sad and i dont think that you being happy means you turn into an asshole i think that your standards for your own level of meanness is maybe unrealistic or too high and that you arent as mean as you think you are if you were a jerk i dont think that you would be feeling like this and im sorry that you do feel like you expressing yourself can only manifest in a way that you feel is too mean or what have you i dont thinkthat is the case though and i like you and you are good

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-11-2017 06:20 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #806
Lonely Rolling Star

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anyway nothings good and i should go to bed but i cant i never can when i want and i hate it and i hate myself and i feel like theres infinite things wrong with me and all i see in my future is a pitch blackness that will consume me and destroy me, if i dont just break down into pieces all bymyself

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-11-2017 06:21 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #807
Lonely Rolling Star

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my life if i made some different choices isnt worth living but i dont know if my current life is worth living i didnt ask for this

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-11-2017 06:23 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #808
Lonely Rolling Star

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my favorite lie i tell myself is that im going to be ok and that everythings going to be ok

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-11-2017 06:27 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #809
Lonely Rolling Star

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its actually incredible and a miracle that ive never been in an abusive relationship/friendship

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-11-2017 06:27 AM
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Solekii
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #810
 

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I tried to go to bed early because I have work tomorrow and a really hard scene but I can't sleep because I'm having a panic attack
04-19-2017 08:50 AM
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Kaynato
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #811
Archivist

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WHY DO I SUFFER

[Image: pelahain.png] - [Image: mascot2.gif] - homepage - tumblr - [Image: egg013.png?raw=1][Image: egg017.png?raw=1]
04-21-2017 07:07 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #812
Lonely Rolling Star

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im scared and paranoid constantly every fucking day l m a o

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-22-2017 06:12 AM
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Solaris
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #813
Lonely Rolling Star

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anytime im positive about something about myself i feel like im lying and its a lie

I wanna be a real friend
Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker
I wanna scream eureka
04-22-2017 06:13 AM
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Solekii
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #814
 

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Welp. I'm gonna be tired tomorrow. The whole 'sleep' thing doesnt seem to be workin' out. I wish this anxiety would stop. That'd be nice.
(This post was last modified: 04-24-2017 10:11 AM by Solekii.)
04-24-2017 09:28 AM
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SC
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #815
The Hoip of Hoips

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im up this late cause a homestuck fic basically triggered me and i still read to almost the latest chapter and i dont know why i did this. going to bed now though

04-27-2017 09:25 AM
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Solekii
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #816
 

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I don't even know why I'm up right now. All I can think about is how badly I wanna change my given name
04-29-2017 11:04 AM
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Plaid
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #817
super gay

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up late because i'm at that level of anxiety and hyperactivity that i can't really focus on anything without panicking a lil bit

listening to music that makes me think of my comic and about how i gotta keep drawing pages when i get out of this mood

a few days ago i was reading through a thread of good openings and couldn't help but think that if oneiric had an opening it would be this

credits this probably

and an ominous bonus

[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
04-29-2017 02:28 PM
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a52
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #818
midipunk clipartcore

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Location: Once a frontline combatant in the Omnic Crisis, this curious Bastion unit now explores the world, fascinated by nature but wary of a fearful humanity.
bird comic for your 2 ams:
[Image: BJVrZ5P.jpg]

i love crows so much
they are my favorite

I love my job | I hate my job | War is hell | My job is war
The noises, they never stop


[Image: egg006.png?raw=1]
(This post was last modified: 05-14-2017 09:02 AM by a52.)
05-14-2017 09:01 AM
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Solekii
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #819
 

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crows are great

also I've been up all night working on this goddamned walk cycle and I am so tired
05-14-2017 11:43 AM
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SC
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #820
The Hoip of Hoips

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just got done streaming a mc test stream with a friend, go follow them here.

anyways goo'nite

05-28-2017 09:09 AM
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BRPXQZME
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #821
See if I don’t!

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Location: Genterville, Girginia, Gunitedstates
Oh no, the window to make a legit post is closing! I beter not screw this up

sea had swallowed all. A lazy curtain of dust was wafting out to sea
06-14-2017 06:24 AM
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Plaid
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #822
super gay

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its 2am and i want to kill myself! love that depression life

[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
06-14-2017 02:02 PM
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Plaid
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #823
super gay

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my parents are away in europe for a few weeks and i'm thinking about the logistics of going to their house and getting into their liquor cabinet

i really don't want to be lucid right now

[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
06-14-2017 02:10 PM
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Schazer
 RE: The 2am thread
Post: #824
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Playing scrabble at 2am and we care so little at this point I was allowed to use "nug"

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
06-16-2017 05:03 PM
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