Application review and appreciation topic + Lore Q&A

Application review and appreciation topic + Lore Q&A
#26
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Ooh, those are some very neat ideas Gime. I think the thing where they breathe smoke would add to their mafiosity and make them suficiently alien-like, though I kinda like the idea of sleep inducing sheep people too and I think I might turn those into a subspecies.

The idea of a species that can disguise themselves as others, especially if that species has a tendency towards criminality and agression, is a pretty intresting one as well, but I don't believe it suits the mafleeca.

I'm not sure if I'd need to include the black cat+0 luck thing in the entry of the black-fleeced ones as well but you can probably sort that out when I submit the app.
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#27
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Yeah I think I enjoyed the two smoke ones the most too, it's very thematic for both sheep and the mafia, I based it on many mafia movies where the mafia appears in an alleyway just strangely covered in impossible white alleyway smoke for a dramatic reveal.
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#28
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Okay, so here's the revised O'Clair. I'm considering possibly adding some things to it, but otherwise I think it's done.

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Adun Toridas, Space Ninja...
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#29
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
[Species] Budryft
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Is there anything that can be improved, before I send this app? (Also, any suggestiond on Trivia would be appreciated)

[EDIT]: Trivia added, one or two lines rewritten for clarity, I think, the typo Gimeurcookie pointed out fixed, and grammar + futher typos corrected on the parts that weren't thanks to MystriDragon (ClockworkDragon?).
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#30
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
@DS
- but it rare to find one that is full-blown Classist > but it's rare to find one that is full-blown classist

Everything else looks good!

For trivia maybe you can have one talk about a species that seems hold a very odd hatred of them, or maybe how they relate to the Jerce or Noxis-Noverum, species who have also lost their homeworlds.
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#31
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
This is my first draft of the race I've been working on. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing is correct, so I feel like I should post it up here.

The YbeShow

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Errata
1: Removed the capital letters I instinctively added everywhere to "ybe" because my brain says it isnt a real word and must be a proper noun
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#32
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Everything is looking good so far! So note to make ybe lower cased unless it's at the start of a sentence. Aka it's "The humans are a species that-" instead of "The Humans are a species that-"

Really digging the way these guys look!
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#33
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
I came up with 4 species concepts around the last time apps opened. Just for fun, I went back and fleshed out the other three I didn't submit. Still don't know if I'm going to submit one this time around (I mean look at all these other species wow), but here they are anyway :]

Names: Hokkan (warrior big bird AKA practically a fauna the species)
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Name: Wozzee (gay space lemmings)
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Name: Unnonocti (shaman-phibians of the night)
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#34
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Oooooh man this is a hard pick but I'm honestly digging all of them. If I had to vote for one I'd pick the Hokkan, then maybe the Unnonocti. Oddly we haven't had any weird bio luminescence creatures yet.
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#35
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
I'm also partial to the cave-dwelling murderbirds, just for how uncivilised and brutal they are.
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#36
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
[Planet][Station] Jade Park
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#37
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Hmm. In the interest of focusing my attention on getting one single race finished, I want to test the waters a bit, see what people are interested in. So, out of the following snippets, which one is worth fleshing out next?

Mi: Sentient Plant Fractals.

FLOR(OS): Intelligent bio-weapon intent on purging/controlling other sentience's.

(Undecided), Wekydo, Waki-No, Eecho, Bala-Ka, Muda-Mei-Ta: Extremely bloodthirsty voodoo snakes.

Tickers: Artificial clockwork (Regular clockwork, not the disease) collective, designed and run by the enigmatic Brass King.

Lumus (Post-ascension): Upside-down teardrop shaped psychics, not really interested in the universe. Looks down on any non-Lumus race, considering them to be "beneath their interest".

Lumus (Pre-ascension): Genocidal warlords determined to be the only remaining sentients. Not many left in the universe, after the ascension.
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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#38
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Voodoo snakes sound pretty cool.
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#39
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
FLOR(OS) Sounds pretty awesome actually.
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#40
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
I like the Tickers!
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#41
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Tickers seem pretty cool. We can have clockwork clockworks.
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#42
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
I like the Voodoo snakes. I do ask if you do the tickers they not be called clockworks / referred to / nicknamed as that as we'd end up with confusion between the 2.


Also DS your app looks fine! (As I tossed on discord), I think you can leave in the prunus info as long as you change it in to like, a bunch of prunuses got stuck due to having their ship taken away and ended up having to root down and what not.
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#43
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Tuned up the rough notes on the Tickers and voodoosnakes for a public looksee.
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Not entirely happy with the snakes, not quite catching the "Voodoo gone horribly horribly evil" just right.
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Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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#44
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
Thought of this while watching Aliens (The movie) on TV; it's not quite finished yet but I figured I'd go ahead and put it here for people to see.
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#45
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
A species concept I think is P cool and may-or-may-not submit at the next opportunity.

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Adun Toridas, Space Ninja...
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#46
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
LEONShow
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#47
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
It's the Slimes, the goobles, the [other term that evokes their slimey nature other than their actual name]! Which i'm probably not submitting soon, but maybe later.

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Adun Toridas, Space Ninja...
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#48
RE: Application review and appreciation topic + Lore Q&A
I'm bringing this topic back as I see that a few people might need lore checking in their applications. I don't like rejecting apps and causing people to have to wait a week to resubmit so please feel free to ask your application related lore question and let me answer it for you.
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#49
RE: Application review and appreciation topic
I noticed while looking through the planets that while planet-infecting clockwork viruses exist, there weren't any listed yet, so I made one.

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I made a lot of assumptions about what they're like though, and how they would interact with eachother, so i could see it needing some changes.
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#50
RE: Application review and appreciation topic + Lore Q&A
Yeah when I read it it was a good concept then, and a good concept now. It's a shame we don't have a clockwork section up yet. The writing is A+ and is totally on point, no changes there so the rejection was only lore based and while there are notes out there I wouldn't say they're the most perfect notes to be using so feel free to ask me any questions you need, def on the concepts of clockworks.

I have lot of info stored up about clockworks, just not enough time to put it out publicly.

To go through a list of what lore fixes this one needs.

- K-class and other classes of clockworks are no longer a thing. All of them just have name now. (So dryad alone is just fine.) It used to be a shout out to SCPs but the whole thing doesn't make too much sense now as every single clockwork would be considered K-class by those rankings.

- "only known case of" should be removed. I always personally remove things like "The only" and "The biggest" and other statements that imply the hard and fast lore to avoid lore tangles as well as allow other people to make likewise concepts.

- A small note mentioning that the reason no one has burned down this planet yet being because of the research would get rid of any questions as to why people are ok with what could become a rather aggressive liability.

- Most clockworks, even big ones like dryads are mindless monsters. It doesn't have to be explained why they are intelligent as it can happen just very rarely, a simple "An absolute oddity, the dryads on this planet all are intelligent enough to hold stable warfare."

That's be all. All of those points likely would require no more than 1 to 2 sentences. Everything else is stable and good, and like I said the concept and lore is really spot on.

Feel free to ask me anything you may need. Also you're free to resubmit even though planets are closed.
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