Eagle TimeRegisterLogin

Thread Rating:
  • 9 Vote(s) - 2.89 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
letter to dad thread (now defunct)
Author Message
SleepingOrange
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#76
Mirror Universe Evil Twin

Offline
Posts: 1,982
Joined: Jul 2011
Disembowelled in a Ditch
When you have some time, call a bank branch for a national bank and ask them what the process for that is like. Even if you're not ready to make it happen when you call, they should be able to give you the information you need. If social anxiety is preventing you from doing that, try exploring their website or checking resources with lots of contributors and information on a wide variety of things, like reddit or similar
05-05-2016, 05:57 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Plaid
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#77
super gay

Offline
Posts: 1,074
Joined: Oct 2011
snugged up in bed
You should be able to det up the new accoubt and transfer it straight from your old bank?

[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
05-05-2016, 06:31 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#78
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
mmmmmmmmmmmmm

sure is a good morning, i woke up a bit late and i'm sleepy, nintendo's showing off some stuff, i skypecall gen and we talk about zelda- oh wait hold up, dad just quietly invited himself into my room and wordlessly sat down on my bed, next to me.

so pretty much the first thing dad says to me this morning, is "hey, what are you planning on doing today?" and i have to say "dunno" because, well, i usually don't have a plan for the day. i've been living every day the same, sometimes going on a walk to the store, sometimes applying to a job nearby, but nothing big ever changes

the fact that i didn't immediately know what i was going to do with my day today, offended my dad so much???

so he felt the need to come into my room and bring up how i'm not doing college anymore and i AGREED to do college years ago, I AGREED, we made a PACT, that I can stay home and do whatever if I'm doing college. and I BROKE THAT PACT when I stopped doing college and decided to try jobhunting. and i haven't gotten a job yet even though it's been, idk, a year, and i'm obviously not trying hard enough, and i'm obviously not taking my job search seriously, and i need to work harder. "you need to stop being on the internet so much, chatting with friend and drinking soda, and you need to be actually working hard on getting a job."

and he was just, so angry, and intimidating, and not, actually, providing any help at all,,,
06-14-2016, 07:40 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#79
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
like, talking with my friends and drawing and drinking sodas is how i make myself feel temporarily okay with the utter lack of progress i've been making
06-14-2016, 07:41 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#80
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
and how dare you imply that i'm not trying hard, or that i'm okay with being stuck at home all the time with no actual job. how dare you try to imply that I"M OKAY WITH THIS AT ALL, AND THAT I'M MOOCHING OFF OF YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO AND NOT BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE
06-14-2016, 07:43 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
ICan'tGiveCredit
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#81
Demonic Kitchen Appliance

Offline
Posts: 3,748
Joined: Mar 2013
The deepest, most petrifying depths of your local Wal-Mart
We had a pact, Jerry!!!

include that in the letter to your dad. point him out as george costanza, mr. grudge that he is.

"A day without a laugh is a day wasted."
[Image: Iv0bTLS.png][Image: Sm02KV6.png]
06-14-2016, 08:45 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
a52
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#82
the god eater

Offline
Posts: 3,151
Joined: Jan 2016
the woods
That sounds really frustrating. I wish I could offer some advice, but I've never been in that kind of situation and any advice I gave you would probably make things worse.

*proceeds to give advice anyway*

Do you have an idea of what you want to do? (I would say "when you grow up", but I think you're already an adult(?)) While your dad sounds like a complete asshole and he shouldn't be doing things like inviting himself into your room or yelling at you so often, it sounds like part of his frustration with you is that you don't seem to have a "proper" goal in life.

It also sounds like you're knee-deep in the pile of rancid cow shit known as depression. This leads to being less motivated, making your dad madder at you, making depression worse, etc in a nasty tangled up pile of vicious cycle spaghetti.

[Image: fdJ8E3B.png]

While it is totally uncalled-for for your dad to give you a lecture about not having a plan for the day first thing in the morning, I do (sorry) agree with him that making some sort of goal for the day/week will help. If you can bring yourself to get out of the house more often, plan things out in advance, and break up your schedule a bit, it might help. Hopefully it would show your dad that you are doing stuff to get out of the house, and it could also help with depression (if that's what's going on).

Hopefully this helped some.
(This post was last modified: 06-15-2016, 12:29 AM by a52.)
06-15-2016, 12:29 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#83
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
to be honest, i do have a (relatively) long term goal

it's "move out of this house and move in with one of the few people i wholly trust and want to be with"

not gonna tell dad about that goal though lol
don't wanna give him a reason to push me out of the house before i'm ready.

need to get a job, need to save up money. need to get out of this house.
06-15-2016, 12:59 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#84
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
gonna try to tap this out real fast because, eh,

first off- neighbor agreed to help me get to Target or whatev and shop for luggages when my moving-out plan solidifies, so that's good.

second, HAHA WOW

some of you probably heard about this thru me screaming on tumblr a while back but this is the topic where i immortalize these things

so i have 4 siblings. 3 on my moms side, one on my dads. my sibling on my dads side is, a gigantic soccer mom. except her daughter doesn't do soccer, she's a cheerleader, anyway
wow
super giant racist homophobe anti-gun-restrictions soccer mom who agrees with pretty much anything my dad says
last time she visited i realized she's one of those "don't fight hate with hate" people
meaning, if a priest says gay people deserved to be shot, that's just his right to free speech. but if people tell him that's a disgusting thing to say and that he should be ashamed, that's not free speech, that's spreading hate, and that's just as bad as a person shooting up a bunch of gay people.

i wish i was kidding.
07-07-2016, 06:06 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#85
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
next time i update the list in the first post i gotta add "is now a holocaust-denier" to it
09-03-2016, 08:50 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#86
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
updated the first post in this thread, sorted everything into categories and refined my to-do list a bit.

i have to go to a birthday party for my sister on dad's side later today, so i hope i don't have to add MORE to this thread tonight.
01-31-2017, 08:40 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
PocketSprout
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#87
The User Formally Known As TheEmptyPot

Offline
Posts: 81
Joined: Feb 2012
someone's mom's garden
aAAHH HEY, HI THERE, PERSON WHO HAD A VERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE HERE

My parents acted really similarly while I was growing up and eventually I developed this really "wow fuck all y'all" attitude and ran away to art school through brute force but that sounds like it isn't your style! My sister ran away similarly through a visit to her SO's place and then just kind of stayed there instead of coming home.

Is there any way for Gen to come to you and for you to leave with her? Or like any particular holiday or event that calls for you leaving the state and then just not coming back one day? That would be my strategy anyways- otherwise yeah squirling away possessions and money sounds like a good game plan right now ahh

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, you absolutely deserve not to be and I'm sending you good luck vibes!!!
02-01-2017, 01:49 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#88
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
(02-01-2017, 01:49 AM)PocketSprout Wrote: Is there any way for Gen to come to you and for you to leave with her? Or like any particular holiday or event that calls for you leaving the state and then just not coming back one day? That would be my strategy anyways- otherwise yeah squirling away possessions and money sounds like a good game plan right now ahh

Ahhh! Thank you for the good vibes!!

Also, that's something we considered... Gen has said that she's willing, if things turn out this way, to come to where I live and we take turns driving to her place? Like. This is a trip between north Cali and New Mexico, this would be a really long drive, but we'd do this road trip plan if we had to.

short version of spoilered text: one of the main reasons we'd have to resort to a road trip is if my dad decided to get me a car, while his old car is still working.
Spoiler :
(One of the circumstances we've considered that would lead to this, is the possibility of me getting a car before moving, and wanting to take it with me. I can't drive yet, though my dad has been trying to teach me (i might be good enough to get my license by now, but sudden forward progress makes me hyper nervous) and he's been thinking about getting me a car for a long while now? I'm kinda hoping I can move out before he, i dunno, brings home a car out of nowhere like TIME TO DRIVE and then when i move he'll probably use my new car as guilt leverage)

also no, me and dad are hermits, we visit our families (who live a few cities away) like twice a year. We have no reason to leave the state, and I especially don't have a convenient reason to leave alone - except for what Gen suggested, which is "hey my friend in NM wants a roommate bc he's having trouble making rent, and this would be a good opportunity to try out living independently (heavily imply this would only last a year or so)"
which for the most part is true, so ;u;
02-01-2017, 06:22 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
a52
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#89
the god eater

Offline
Posts: 3,151
Joined: Jan 2016
the woods
when he buys you the car immediately drive away in it, never to return
02-01-2017, 06:42 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#90
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
if my dad buys me a car, and i'm proficient enough at driving to feel comfortable driving at night, i'm gonna get myself one of these

[Image: c8611668ba.png]

freedom, baby
02-01-2017, 06:45 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Reyweld
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#91
zip

Offline
Posts: 4,656
Joined: Dec 2014
Canadon't know please send help
Apparently pink coca cola is Cherry Vanilla flavored, so naturally I approve of this meal choice.

Sig:
Spoiler :
(03-02-2015, 02:07 AM)Papers Wrote: i don't know what i expected from reyweld's new hawkspace thread
(06-02-2016, 04:16 AM)Schazer Wrote: Tokyo could kick your scrawny ass
02-01-2017, 11:18 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#92
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
new job has been going well recently except it hasn't, i'm in a constant state of stress and my dad won't stop pushing me to find a new job ASAP. maybe it'd be a good idea, I don't know, but i've only held this one for a little under two months so maybe i can wait a little more.

anyway

oops hit the post button too early

ANYWAY sometime soon i need to tell dad I want to move out, but I need to figure out how to do it in a way that won't make him scream at me until I agree to stay with him, at which point this turns into an outright rescue operation.

So far the plan is "hey my friend wants me to try rooming with them for like a year, this will be a good way for me to build up my independence too" along with a bunch of (true) reasons relating to job opportunities and art meetups... I'm not super confident in this though, considering my severe communication issues, but so far it's the best plan I've got?
(This post was last modified: 04-22-2017, 04:58 AM by KittenEater.)
04-22-2017, 04:54 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Wheat
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#93
 

Offline
Posts: 5,319
Joined: Jul 2011
if they start yelling, just become completely unresponsive and don't say anything else until you can continue from where you going or else you just up-n-leave


🌵 🌵 🌵

i gave advice to infrared years ago to deal with a family issue involving cacti. i employ this advice once again now. make a protective barrier between you and them with a ring of cacti.

[Image: RjvYOd.png]
04-22-2017, 06:15 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
ICan'tGiveCredit
 RE: help me write a letter to my dad
#94
Demonic Kitchen Appliance

Offline
Posts: 3,748
Joined: Mar 2013
The deepest, most petrifying depths of your local Wal-Mart
i like cacti.

kitet i recommend wheat's strategy, if your dad starts yelling, just show him a cactus. And that cactus will remain suspended in mid-air for as long as he keeps yelling.

"A day without a laugh is a day wasted."
[Image: Iv0bTLS.png][Image: Sm02KV6.png]
04-22-2017, 03:51 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
#95
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
awwww yeahhhhh booyyyyssss i am OUT, thread over
10-02-2017, 04:10 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Sunspider
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
#96
 

Offline
Posts: 68
Joined: Apr 2017
Midwestern US
You did it!

*Celebratory Kazoo Noises*

Spoiler: I can relate a bit too much to that situation you just backflipped out of.
Some day soon, I'mma have saved up enough to Nope out of my living situation too, and get far away from my Biodad and the rest of the alt-righty, racist, antisemitic, anti-education, anti-medicine, Anarcho-Capitalist side of my family. I have had more than enough conversations where their contributions amount to how No One Can Be Trusted, and how Education Is Brainwashing, and how the poor or needy just aren't trying hard enough and deserve to suffer (which is especially absurd coming from a man who lived off his parent's good graces for most of his adult life), and how All [insert ethnicity/religion/queer identifier here]s Are Destroying Society, and how something something George Soros something Illuminati something something 9/11, etc. And jeezers, but am I well and truly done trying my damnedest to build bridges and come to a common understanding with their collective asses, while they gather around a statue of Alex Jones, chanting about how the world is going to hell, and dreaming of the day that they can destroy all government and society, and regress to the 'good old days' of some idealized cut-throat antisocial hunter-gatherer way of life, where we all live in isolation in the hills with our guns and gold bars, subsisting off our Endless Tins Of Disaster-Prepper Food until we starve because there's no more farms/factories/shipping companies making food for us, or die of easily-preventable diseases because whoops we disbelieved doctors out of existence".

So yeah, not only does this make me happy as hell for you, this shit gives me hope too. Here's to new starts in a new place!

[Image: sig_filigree_left.png][Image: sig_banner.png][Image: sig_filigree_right.png]
10-02-2017, 10:16 PM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Infrared
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
#97
cuet anime grils

Offline
Posts: 1,794
Joined: Jul 2011
Edmonton, Alberta.
I'm happy for you, you did it! I'm glad you didn't have to resort to using cacti.

Good luck friend.

[Image: iqVkAVO.gif]
10-03-2017, 12:35 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
Wheat
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
#98
 

Offline
Posts: 5,319
Joined: Jul 2011
I'm so glad you've bounded out of that stultifying heckhole and into what you will now probably look at as the chapter of your life where you actually feel free to be and do things without constant fear or apprehension. I'm real happy for you.


I would suggest though that you nab a cactus from the desert and grow it as your own because they are a nice little feng shui friend you can tend to and watch grow. you are in a situation now where you can raise cacti as family instead of having to use them as tools of destruction, and really that's all you can ask for.
you can cut off a section, let it dry for a few days, and then plant it in soil and a clone will grow (try multiple bc some may not take); or this time of year you can pluck the fruits of cacti for seeds (just watch out for prickers)

[Image: RjvYOd.png]
(This post was last modified: 10-03-2017, 01:01 AM by Wheat.)
10-03-2017, 01:01 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
a52
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
#99
the god eater

Offline
Posts: 3,151
Joined: Jan 2016
the woods
(10-02-2017, 10:16 PM)Sunspider Wrote: You did it!

*Celebratory Kazoo Noises*

Spoiler: I can relate a bit too much to that situation you just backflipped out of.
Some day soon, I'mma have saved up enough to Nope out of my living situation too, and get far away from my Biodad and the rest of the alt-righty, racist, antisemitic, anti-education, anti-medicine, Anarcho-Capitalist side of my family. I have had more than enough conversations where their contributions amount to how No One Can Be Trusted, and how Education Is Brainwashing, and how the poor or needy just aren't trying hard enough and deserve to suffer (which is especially absurd coming from a man who lived off his parent's good graces for most of his adult life), and how All [insert ethnicity/religion/queer identifier here]s Are Destroying Society, and how something something George Soros something Illuminati something something 9/11, etc. And jeezers, but am I well and truly done trying my damnedest to build bridges and come to a common understanding with their collective asses, while they gather around a statue of Alex Jones, chanting about how the world is going to hell, and dreaming of the day that they can destroy all government and society, and regress to the 'good old days' of some idealized cut-throat antisocial hunter-gatherer way of life, where we all live in isolation in the hills with our guns and gold bars, subsisting off our Endless Tins Of Disaster-Prepper Food until we starve because there's no more farms/factories/shipping companies making food for us, or die of easily-preventable diseases because whoops we disbelieved doctors out of existence".

So yeah, not only does this make me happy as hell for you, this shit gives me hope too. Here's to new starts in a new place!

I honestly find it hard to believe that people like this actually exist.
10-03-2017, 01:43 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply
KittenEater
 RE: letter to dad thread (now defunct)
big dumb whatever

Offline
Posts: 1,101
Joined: Nov 2011
cool planet
(10-03-2017, 01:43 AM)a52 Wrote: I honestly find it hard to believe that people like this actually exist.

They do, and in my case, he considered himself left-leaning as his "opinion on gun control (that there shouldn't be any) was the only conservative view he had".

It's... really easy to hold those views and think you're right for doing so. It comes from a place of self-preservation, I think, but these people don't realize that they're trying to protect themselves from people who aren't hurting them.
10-03-2017, 06:07 AM
Find Quote this message in a reply