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The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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Tai-1
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Catherine o'Daisies> Grab the rude little whippersnapper, put her over your knee and spank her. The nerve of those Vulpitanians!

Maiden> "I'll have what she's having!" (I don't think she's too bright)

Meanwhile at almost the same time....
Adler> Be in the midst of flirting with Brother Matthias when all of a sudden you begin to scream and run about holding your backside!

Brother Matthias> Making quick preparations for the cleansing, realise there's a critical element missing (the poppet which is still in the Antglade).

Miss Thomson> ...

SALV Chesswick> Make preparations to find the SALV that assigned Fofox and destroy him!
10-18-2017, 04:38 PM
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tegerioreo
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Plums are Okay

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A lowfolk hovel
Quote:>Adler: "Cleansed? I don't know what you're talking about. I feel FANTASTIC!"
>Cleansing: Involve washing his mouth with soap.
Brother Matthias, commence the cleansing, much to the horror of everyone watching.
Army, interfere. Explain what should happen to anybody intentionally inflicting bodily harm on their Irenaeus-descended leader.

"CLEANSING?" I scoffed. "Nonsense! I feel fine! FABULOUS, in fact!"

I twirled giddily to demonstrate how marvelous I felt, and the old priest deftly grabbed me in a Mephitist headlock.

[Image: 1023cleanse_zpsq34pvvvn.gif]

"I don't have all of the proper elements," Brother Matthias explained. "But I can do a quick field-cleansing which may ease some of your distress. First, I'll need to wash your mouth out with soap."

"YOU DARE??!" I yelled.

"AYE, TIS LESS THAN WISE TAE LAY UNWELCOME HANDS UPON OUR NOBLE COMMANDER," MacBrock bellowed as he sternly grasped the priest's shoulder.

"Yeah, back off, old goat," one of the other soldiers snarled. "Release him, or our next lesson won't be so academic."

"Fine," Brother Matthias grunted. "I can see I'm outnumbered."

He released me from his headlock and I darted away.

Quote:>Adler: Feel the Duchess' kick and the bush experience and react accordingly.
Catherine o'Daisies> Grab the rude little whippersnapper, put her over your knee and spank her.
Adler> all of a sudden you begin to scream and run about holding your backside!

[Image: 1023spanky_zpsrewjfckt.gif]

Suddenly my buttocks were stricken with a searing pain! I screamed and clutched them protectively, but a barrage of invisible blows continued to batter me upon my fundament! I scampered around frantically, but my unseen assailant continued its attack with unerring accuracy.

"See?" Matthias snorted at the soldiers who surrounded him menacingly. "The Prince is afflicted with a foul Unseelie curse and desperately needs Fuma's saving grace."

"AYE, YE MIGHT BE REEGHT ABOOT THAT, AFTER ALL," MacBrock observed thoughtfully. "COOM THEN, LET'S CATCH 'IM."

Before the army could give chase, I suddenly collapsed with a sensation of plunging into a prickly thorn bush. I lay in the road, unwilling to move lest I be jabbed by prickles, as my soldiers surrounded me.

Quote:>Thomson: Point out that since you're the one who hexed Adler in the first place, it would be much faster if they let you undo it.

[Image: 1023icanhelp_zpsfhxbom59.gif]

"You know," Thomson called from where she was tied up in the cart. "Since I was the one who cast this spell on him -"

"You reckon it's wise to call attention to yourself right now?" Burnside snapped as she pulled a knife from her elfintory.

"Since I cast this spell," Thomson continued, "it would be easier for me to remove it, than for you to waste time with a field cleansing."

Quote:Brother Matthias> realise there's a critical element missing (the poppet which is still in the Antglade).

"It would be easier, Wile-Witch," Brother Matthias retorted, "if you give me the foul poppet. I know there is one. This type of magick always requires a physical component."

Thomson lay quietly for a long moment.

"Well, witch?" Matthias barked. "Where is the poppet?"

Spoiler :
According to the Chanson du Percy:

After the screaming stopped, and the vixen was tossed insensible into the bushes, noble Percy boldly crept onto the porch of the shack and peeped into the doorway.

Quote:Percy, be shocked

[Image: 1023gloat_zpsuy3udaoo.gif]

The brave bird beheld the dreaded Duchess of Daisies herself, standing inside the shack and chuckling wickedly as she held up a bedraggled tuft of white fur tied up with string.

"My insurance policy," the skunkess gloated. "Adler'll have to behave hisself as long as I got this."

The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
10-24-2017, 03:05 AM
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typeandkey
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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That place that isn't here
>Thomson: Logically it would be in the last place you had it, and the last place you had it was... Uh-oh.
>Adler: As a result of Fifi hopping up and flailing wildly to get the prickles out, you lead everyone on a merry chase.
>Thomson: While everyone's distracted, time to make your move. Good thing you're an expert escape artist.
>Percy: Weigh your options, if you were to somehow retrieve that poppet, the elf Adler would owe you a favor. On the other hand, he's a jerk and you hate him.
>Duchess: Test out your new toy. Work some of that hoodoo that you do.
10-24-2017, 06:50 AM
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tronn
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Vigorous Cleansing: Ensue.
The Army: Take turns tag-teaming Adler to help brother Matthias, or just for fun if that strikes your fancy.
Everybody: With your morale improved march towards the capital with renewed gusto!

Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
10-24-2017, 03:33 PM
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MasterofElfhame
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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(A certain famous and highly magickal tod-fox) Intervene in the matter. Because you can. And spreading chaos is *very* Elf-ly.
(Said tod-fox) Ponder how you can "borrow" the poppet.
(Said tod-fox) Ponder how you can borrow said poppet while CO'D has her Regalia on.
(Said tod-fox) Decide that the time has come...for beetles!
10-24-2017, 11:45 PM
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Tai-1
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Awww...I wanted to see the Duchess spank Fifi.

*Laughs at Adler's expression as he's holding his backside!*

So...the Duchess has the poppet....uh oh...but Fifi's fur is also mixed up in it...more antics'll ensue.


Miss Thomson> While the army and Brother Matthias is occupied, attempt to escape
Burnside> "And where do you think you're going?

Miss Thomson vs Burnside!>Fight!!

Query: Did anyone clean out Ms Thomson's elfintory of weapons?
10-25-2017, 12:38 AM
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Major Matt Mason
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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> Percy: Think of mushrooms. Surprisingly, this works.
>Duchess: In a sudden reversion to childhood, decide to play "Dress-Up" with the poppet.
>Fifi and Adler: Involuntary strip-teases.
>Thomson and Burnside: Cat fight with much rending of garments.
10-25-2017, 08:17 PM
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tegerioreo
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Plums are Okay

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A lowfolk hovel
Spoiler :
As related in the Chanson du Percy:

"I reckon I could have me some real fun with this here trinket," the Unseelie Duchess cackled to herself.

Quote:(A certain famous and highly magickal tod-fox) Intervene in the matter.
(Said tod-fox) Ponder how you can borrow said poppet while CO'D has her Regalia on.
Duchess: feel that you are being watched and turn around

[Image: 1030surprise_zpsle8zoxea.gif]

"Top o' the mornin' to ye, Catherine me dearie," a strange fox-elf called out cheerily as he suddenly materialized in the room. "And what is it ye might be after doin' on such a fine day as this?"

"ESTVAN SILVERBRUSH!" the wicked Duchess snarled as she turned to glare at the intruder. "You got a lotta nerve showin' your rascally face around here, ol' boy! Now I'm almost free, and I got my regalia on too, buddy, what you think yer gonna do?"

Clever Percy noticed a small fairy-like creature quietly approach the Duchess' hand while her attention was diverted.

"Cushlamochree, can't a tod pop in ta pay his respects to an old sweetheart at all, at all?" the fox tutted. "Whisht, me dear, tis plain to see yer in no mood for pleasantries, so I'll bid ye good day."

[Image: 1030purloined_zpsatwdkugr.gif]

Just as suddenly as he appeared, the strange fox was gone. Duchess Catherine turned again to admire her trophy, and realized that her hand was empty.

Wise Percy made a quick tactical retreat as the Duchess stood for a long, sinister moment, staring at her hand as the air in the shack began to crackle.

[Image: 1030kaboom_zpstdmzslcw.gif]

"DAMN YOU, ESTVAN!" the evil Duchess screamed in her fury as the shack exploded. "HOW YOU DONE IT I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE! THIS WAS YOUR ONE FATAL MISTAKE, FOOL! I'M A-GONNA GET YOU! I'M A-GONNA GET YOU, AND IM A-GONNA PLUCK YOU BALD, ONE HAIR AT A TIME, AND WHILE I'M A-DOIN' THAT, I'LL THINK OF WAYS TO MAKE YOU EXTRY UNCOMFORTABLE!! I SWEAR I'LL DO IT!! JUST YOU WAIT AN' SEE!"

[Image: 1030pluck_zpsehok9dja.gif]

Percy stumbled through the bushes to the spot where his lovely vixen companion had been kicked.

"That Duchess sure has a temper," the vixen groaned. "Could you like, help me with these stickers?"

Kind Percy bent down and began plucking thorns and burrs from the vixen's back.

"Last I saw the poppet was .. uh-oh," Thomson declared from the back of the cart. "Back at the Antglade Diplomatic Outpost. Didn't anyone pick it up?"

"The Duchess must have tampered!" I yelled as I twitched spasmodically from strange phantom pains that seemed to be jabbing me from every direction. "Is there any help for these stickers?"

Quote:>Adler: As a result of Fifi hopping up and flailing wildly to get the prickles out
Vigorous Cleansing: Ensue.
The Army: help brother Matthias

[Image: 1030seizehim_zpswfysojao.gif]

"Without the poppet, our only recourse is a field Cleansing," Brother Matthias stated decisively. "A couple of you big strong lads, seize the Prince and hold him still."

"Hudalaleigh!" a familiar voice called out. "Sure an' there's no need to be subjectin' the lad to your stern Church magicks at all, at all."

[Image: 1030whewdalaleigh_zps8ni0z61k.gif]

"At great personal risk to me own sweet self," Estvan explained as he stepped forward, mopping his brow with a handkerchief, "I've gone and procured the poppet."

"How did -?" Brother Matthias began to ask.

"Tis Fuma's own work I'm after doin', ye might say," Estvan interrupted with a wave of his hand. "Sure an' the Prince has a sacred mission to correct the Mistake, whatever that may be, an' it's sure he won't be doin' it while flounderin' ineptly under some foul hoodoo whammy or somesuch. Now then, who's to be gettin' this ghastly trinket? Quickly now - I'd hate to be thinkin' I've incurred me own dismal doom for nothin'."

Quote:>Thomson: you're an expert escape artist.
Miss Thomson> While the army and Brother Matthias is occupied, attempt to escape

[Image: 1030letme_zpsmerqdlwa.gif]

"I'll take it," Thomson called from the antcart. "I made the enchantment, and I am best able to unmake it."

"HOW'D SHE GET LOOSE?" MacBrock bellowed.

The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
10-31-2017, 01:45 AM
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typeandkey
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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That place that isn't here
>Thomson: Your escape has less to do with you being an expert escape artist and more to do with whoever restrained you is terrible at tying knots.
>Burnside: Be completely tied up. That wasn't Thomson's doing. You got tangled up in the rope on your own.
>Sacrificial Maiden: With the Duchess preoccupied, you were able to wander back to "Frost-Biter" unimpeded.
>Percy: Your day is getting really bad really quick.
>Poppet Unbinding Ritual: Be dissapointingly underwhelming. The troops were hoping for a light show.
(This post was last modified: 10-31-2017, 01:21 PM by typeandkey.)
10-31-2017, 01:19 PM
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tronn
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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>Thomson: After being shown trust and given the poppet, cackle maniacally and pook away. Those foolish fools!
>The pooking device hidden in Thomson's horn: Malfunction due to being cut and reattached with glue.

Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
10-31-2017, 03:59 PM
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Torchfire
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Poppet de-enchantment, appear to proceed normally, only to mysteriously fail to work to everyone's dismay.
Someone, examine the poppet carefully and discover fox fur in the mix. Realize that in order to successfully lift the enchantment, Fifi will also have to be retrieved and cleansed. If only somebody would know where she is...

Scuti Preston, get drunk on Percy's lowfolk vitality. Alice, feel embarrassed.
10-31-2017, 04:48 PM
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MasterofElfhame
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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(Thomson) Vanish briefly.
(Thomson) Come back, with the white-fox fur and white-skunk fur separated.
(Thomson) Safely destroy the material related to HSH Prince Adler.
(Thomson) Do not destroy any of the material related to SALV Fofox.
(Estvan) Be the only fur to notice that little bit of underpawed activity. Approve.
(Army) Realize you have not had anything to eat or drink.
(Army) Bring this matter to the attention of your commander after your own fashion.
(HSH Prince Adler) Try to determine how to fill this need.
(SALV Fofox) Appear. De-burred, de-prickled, and de-moralized.
(Powerful Percy) Appear. Challenge HSH Prince Adler to a throw-down.
11-01-2017, 09:40 PM
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Tai-1
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Adler> Vehemently refuse to let Ms Thomson take the poppet.

Ms Thomson> Using logic, make a strong case for why she should do the cleansing.

The cleansing> Ultimately be decided by the toss of a coin.

Percy> Have a strong ward against scutis

Scuti Preston> Have a bad reaction to the wards, fly out of Alice's paw...and onto Fifi's backside.

Scuti Preston> Rage!
(This post was last modified: 11-01-2017, 10:31 PM by Tai-1.)
11-01-2017, 10:31 PM
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Angustine
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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The Moon
Adler: When was the last time you slept?
Adler: Collapse
Army: Lose excitement and morale
Burnside: Tackle Thomson
Thomson and Burnside: Vanish
11-01-2017, 10:40 PM
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Tim Tesy
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Blighty
(11-01-2017, 10:31 PM)Tai-1 Wrote: Percy> Have a strong ward against scutis

Scutis > chomp

percy > jump straight up, through the swamp canopy screaming
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

Army > be spooked by the scream
11-02-2017, 01:10 PM
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tegerioreo
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Plums are Okay

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A lowfolk hovel
Quote:>Thomson: Your escape has less to do with you being an expert escape artist and more to do with whoever restrained you is terrible at tying knots.
> Burnside: Be completely tied up. That wasn't Thomson's doing. You got tangled up in the rope on your own.

[Image: 1106ropes_zpseggr2hnf.gif]

"Whoever tied me up did a woefully inadequate job," Thomson explained. "For someone with Floozy training, those knots were child's play."

"DAGNABBIT," Burnside snarled from the floor of the cart. "Get me outta this, or there's a-gonna be trouble!"

"I think you meant to say 'and there's going to be trouble'," Ms. Thomson sniffed. "Best, I think, to leave you where you are until trust has been re-established all around. Now then, give me the poppet and I shall undo its harmful influence."

Quote:>Thomson: After being shown trust and given the poppet, cackle maniacally and pook away. Those foolish fools!
Adler> Vehemently refuse to let Ms Thomson take the poppet.
Ms Thomson> Using logic, make a strong case for why she should do the cleansing.
Adler: When was the last time you slept?

[Image: 1106never_zpsllmsu0as.gif]

"NO WAY!" I yelped in between cringes from the mysterious prickling sensation. "Don't give her that object! She's the one who hexed me in the first place! OW! What's to stop her from pooking away as soon as she has the poppet in her nefarious hooves?"

"Your Highness, I assure you I was only following orders and wish no harm to come to you," Thomson insisted. "It's possible that you're over-tired. When was the last time you had a good rest?"

"Nice try," I sneered. "I've been unconscious for hours since getting magickally stomped back at the Outpost. I feel OW completely rested!"

"I promise you I won't abscond with the poppet," Thomson assured me. "I will simply undo its enchantment and dissolve it harmlessly."

"Better do it, lad, unless you'd prefer the Field Cleansing," Brother Matthias suggested, as he brandished a bar of soap.

"All right, OW, but no funny business."

Quote:>Poppet Unbinding Ritual: Be dissapointingly underwhelming.
Poppet de-enchantment, appear to proceed normally
(Thomson) Safely destroy the material

[Image: 1106dissolved_zpstnibtexk.gif]

The Ixie flew to Thomson and handed her the poppet. The Floozy whispered a few arcane words, untied the string binding the poppet together, and let the bundle of loose fur scatter on the breeze.

"Is that it?" one of the soldiers asked. "I was hoping for something a bit more .. er .. dramatic."

Quote:(Army) Realize you have not had anything to eat or drink.
(Army) Bring this matter to the attention of your commander after your own fashion.

[Image: 1106hungry_zpsxqm3mowv.gif]

"Beg pardon yer Heeghness," MacBrock whispered as he tapped my shoulder. "But me an' the lads were woonderin' when will it be time tae eat?"

Spoiler :
In the Chanson du Percy:

Quote:Percy> Have a strong ward against scutis
Scuti Preston> Have a bad reaction to the wards, fly out of Alice's paw

[Image: 1106shoop_zpsbvomepou.gif]

"Whoops," a well-coiffed vixen exclaimed as the stout wards around brave Percy's noble backside twinkled with arcane power. A loathsome Tailipo monster flew from her paw and whizzed quickly past our hero and his companion.

Quote:>Sacrificial Maiden: With the Duchess preoccupied, you were able to wander back to "Frost-Biter" unimpeded.
Scuti Preston> Rage!
Scutis > chomp

[Image: 1106notagain_zpsdymp7zft.gif]

The beast darted in beneath the tail of the bunny maiden and lodged fast there, as she emerged suddenly from the underbrush.

"DAMNATION!" the maiden swore coarsely. "A lowfolk femme now? This is ridiculous!! Which one of you is the Frost-Biter?"

The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
11-06-2017, 10:48 PM
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MasterofElfhame
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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(Brother Matthias) Ponder the next steps.
(Brother Matthias) Take out a special quill and a bottle of special ink.
(Brother Matthias) Take out a volume of that sacred Mephitist work, "Aye & Ken," to see what the prophets advise in the situation. Apply ink to certain marked, sacred sections that only appear blank.
(Aye & Ken text) Be somewhat vague.
(SALV Fofox) Indicate that you do like to bite things. Just not frost.
(SALV Fofox) Wiggle eyebrows.
(Scuti-infested bunneh maiden) Not be in the mood for japery, and demonstrate.
(Burnside) Attempt to free yourself. Get tangled up even more.
(Brave Percy) Fly up into a nearby tree.
(Brave Percy) Find that you have company.
(Alice) Ponder whether you're going to need to get a new job.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Also be disappointed in the lack of showfurship evident among elves today.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Feel peckish, and dip into your fursonal stash of snacks.
(Army) Notice the old grey fox eating, and demand a portion.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Demonstrate how the army is to deal with an elder and better.
11-07-2017, 12:15 AM
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Tai-1
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Adler> Gather volunteers to go hunting/foraging....with disappointing results...the results of the hunting/foraging...be even more disappointing.

Meanwhile:
Scuti Lowfolk maiden> after tossing Fofox into the thorn bushes, make plans to follow Adler and claim his body.

Meanwhile:
Hidden mouse femme> Observe Adler's movements...
11-07-2017, 01:10 AM
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typeandkey
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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That place that isn't here
>Burnside: Offer to make everyone barbecue again.
>Everyone: Panic.
>Adler: "So Brother Matthias, you on board?" *Winning Smile*
>Adler: Recognize the outfit Thomson is wearing, have a conniption.
>Scutis, Fifi, and Percy: Form an alliance.
>Duchess: Show up and cause everyone to scatter.
11-07-2017, 03:56 AM
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Tim Tesy
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Blighty
Adler> use gramermancy to enlarge merger forage/hunting results

Estvan> personal stash of snacks turn out to be a magic door leading into a massive pantry

Army> beg for food

Percy> your in a area with an scary and angry skunk elf roaming and strange tail creatures trying to mind control everyone. "sod this for a game of cricket" grab fofox and flee unbeknownst, through a fay gate, which turns out to be adlers armys destination

Army> Raid destination for supplies "sack the pantry's! loot the beer n wenches!"
11-07-2017, 11:00 AM
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Angustine
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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The Moon
Burnside: Chomp your way out of the knots and lunge at Thomson
Thomson: dodge and hold Burnside by the collar of her clothing
Adler: Intervene
Adler: Tell your army to just loot and pillage everywhere that could have the food and alcohol they would need during their journey
11-07-2017, 04:08 PM
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tronn
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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>Percy, Fifi, Scutis, Duchess: Stop having your actions depicted in the story for now.
>Army: Plan a raid on local garrison/orchard.

Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
11-08-2017, 07:21 AM
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Torchfire
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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Peach spiders, lurk.

Dragon, appear.

SALV Silverbrush, devise a cunning plan.
SALV Chesswick, shut down the proposed plan without even considering it fully.
SALV Silverbrush, proceed with the plan anyway.

Brother Matthias, better go field-cleanse Adler, just to be sure.
11-12-2017, 10:06 PM
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Major Matt Mason
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

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(11-07-2017, 03:56 AM)typeandkey Wrote: >Burnside: Offer to make everyone barbecue again.
>Everyone: Panic.
Burnside: Grumble loudly about your cooking skills being unappreciated.
Adler: Whip up an amazing stew using your Stew-Fu skills.
11-12-2017, 10:27 PM
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tegerioreo
 RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Plums are Okay

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A lowfolk hovel
Spoiler :
Quote:>Percy, Fifi, Scutis, Duchess: Stop having your actions depicted in the story for now.

Quote:(Burnside) Attempt to free yourself. Get tangled up even more.
>Burnside: Offer to make everyone barbecue again.
> Everyone: Panic.
Burnside: Chomp your way out of the knots
Burnside: Grumble loudly about your cooking skills being unappreciated.

[Image: 1113gnaw_zpshjaybt3s.gif]

"DOGGONNIT," Burnside snarled as she tried to gnaw through her entangling ropes. "Git me outta this and I'll whip up a batch o' delicious barbecue quick as ya please."

"NOOOO!" the Army yelled in unison. "Leave her tied up, for the love of Fuma!"

"Yall just a buncha dang ingrates," the raccoon femme bellowed.

Quote:(Brother Matthias) Ponder the next steps.
(Brother Matthias) Take out a special quill and a bottle of special ink.
(Brother Matthias) Take out a volume of that sacred Mephitist work, "Aye & Ken," to see what the prophets advise in the situation. Apply ink to certain marked, sacred sections that only appear blank.
(Aye & Ken text) Be somewhat vague.
Brother Matthias, better go field-cleanse Adler, just to be sure

"We have a wise priest among us," I proclaimed, turning to Brother Matthias. "What would you suggest, o reverend one?"

"Hmmm, I'm in a bit of a quandary," the monk muttered. "Perhaps I should consult the oracle for advice."

[Image: 1113ayeken_zpsrimfmvcs.gif]

He produced a floppy codex from his Elfintory, and began scribbling in it with a pale, stubby quill.

"What in Fuma's name are you doing?" I asked him.

"Hudalaleigh!" Estvan cackled. "Sure an' isn't that one o' those Aye & Ken books? Do they even still make them at all, at all?"

"Of course," Brother Matthias grunted, still scribbling furiously. "The Lower Athafon Chapel keeps a supply of them, ordered directly from Eel Publications."

"Well what does the mighty oracle say then?" Estvan asked.

"Outlook hazy," Matthias read aloud. "Try again later. Well, that's not very helpful. Perhaps I should field-cleanse his Highness anyway, just to make sure there are no Unseelie influences at work here."

"I feel fine," I declared. "Let's focus on the problem of provisions for this army."

Quote:(Estvan Silverbrush) Feel peckish, and dip into your fursonal stash of snacks.
(Army) Notice the old grey fox eating, and demand a portion.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Demonstrate how the army is to deal
Estvan> personal stash of snacks
Army> beg for food
Adler: Tell your army to just loot and pillage everywhere that could have the food and alcohol they would need during their journey

[Image: 1113munch_zpsgyfba6pr.gif]

"You know, back in Irenaeus' day," Estvan declared between bites as he munched a large turkey leg. "The army'd plunder as it went, takin' what was needed and leavin' the land despoiled in its wake."

"That's hardly Seelie," Matthias objected.

"Sometimes, me boyo, tis most important to produce results, an' worry about Seeliness afterward."

"HEY!" MacBroc exclaimed. "WHERE'D YE GET THA JUICY LEG, LADDIE?"

"Laddie?" Estvan repeated, with great umbrage. "I ask you, is that any way to address yer elders an' betters? But since ye asked, this lovely morsel is from me own pretty cache, a fine tradition handed down from me ancient feral ancestors."

"HE'S GOT FOOD IN HIS ELFINTORY!" the badger exclaimed. "PILLAGE HIM!"

Quote:Adler> Gather volunteers to go hunting/foraging
Army> Raid destination for supplies
>Army: Plan a raid on local garrison/orchard.
Peach spiders, lurk.

"Wait, wait!" I yelled. "Let's not fight amongst ourselves! Save your aggression for Albric Tor! Estvan, what food do you have on you?"

"Sure an' ye'd not rob an old fox o' his vittles cache?" Estvan exclaimed with a shocked expression. "Tisn't done, boyo."

"What have you got?" I insisted. "If we get a cauldron set up, anything we can scrounge up I can use to make stew."

"Oho, why didn't ye say so sooner?" Estvan chuckled. "For a famous stew, sure an' I can spare some cold shoulder o' mutton and some potatoes."

"Right. You lot, find a cauldron in the supply wagon and set up a cook fire. The rest of you, spread out and forage for edibles. I'll also need water enough to fill the cauldron halfway. Brother Matthias, did you mention a Lower Athafon Chapel just now?"

"I, er, did I?" the monk waffled.

"If you come across the Chapel, plunder it," I instructed my troops.

"HEY NOW, wait, wait," Matthias protested. "You say you're on a mission from Fuma to correct the Mistake, right?"

"I am," I confirmed. "Elves do not lie."

"Very well. Some of you come with me. I'll open the root cellar, and you may also pick peaches from the Chapel orchard."

"ERRGH, WHAT IF THERE BE SPIDERS?" MacBrock asked with a shudder.

Quote:Adler: Whip up an amazing stew using your Stew-Fu skills.

[Image: 1113simmer_zpsyzdetefe.gif]

Water was fetched forthwith, and a fire stoked, and I began simmering Estvan's meat and potatoes while we waited for the foraging teams to return.

The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
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*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
(This post was last modified: 11-14-2017, 02:17 AM by tegerioreo.)
11-14-2017, 02:10 AM
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