The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Quote:>Ambush their ambush by cleverly taking the front door.

"Since we know about the ambush," I theorized, "we can take them by surprise by going right in the front door. They won't be expecting that."

"Sure an' that's exactly what they'll be expectin," Estvan protested.

"Maybe, but we'll be ready for them," I insisted. "They won't expect that."

"Begorrah, twill be a while and a half before any o' this lot is ready for anything. You yer own self are still not thinkin' clearly."

"I was a little woozy earlier, but I feel fine now," I assured him.

Quote:>Adler: Get a strange feeling, as if someone is watching you.

[Image: 0214bnwatchd_zpsf1fwv81k.gif]

"I have a peculiar sensation as if someone was watching me," I muttered as I turned to look at the mysterious bespectacled elf.

"I've been looking at you this whole time," he (she?) admitted.

"No, it's something other than that. How strange..."

"Do ye mind not standin right there listenin' in on our strategic conference?" Estvan insinuated irritably.

"Sorry, but I have to insist on searching Prince Adler for any traces of possible Scuti contamination. One can never be too careful. These creatures are insidious, after all."

"I feel as if I know you," I murmured, trying to figure out where I had seen this elf before. "Ah well, someone this familiar must be trustworthy. You may examine me."

"This will only take a moment ..." he (she?) stated reassuringly, and began to briskly pat me down.

Quote:>Strangely Feminine Scuti Wrangler with the Extremely Attractive Eyebrows and Facial Hair: Tell the prince not to be alarmed,but to make sure he hasn't been contaminated by advanced scuti-ism, you'll need to pat him down.
>Adler: Obviously the reason He (She?) seems so familiar is that this is yet another long lost family member. Surely someone in the family portraits had a mustache that fine. Therefore, a quick examination should be alright.
fail to notice something incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous being slipped out of your elfintory.

[Image: 0214comb_zpsyhihmfmp.gif]

"You're all clear, sir," the mysterious elf said abruptly, as he (she?) turned and slunk away.

"Well, it's good to know I'm free of Scuti taint," I beamed. Estvan blinked at me and seemed to be about to say something, when -

Quote:>Thomson: Triumphantly announce that the Stoned Buck tried to escape to warn the ambush waiting in the hidden tunnels, but you stopped him. You stopped him and tied him up!
>That is not the stoned buck, that is a tree with vaguely antler shaped branches.

[Image: 0214gotim_zpsw3esjaqw.gif]

"He tried to run, but I caught him," Ms. Thomson exclaimed as she crashed through the bushes at the edge of the road. "He put up one heck of a fight for such a scrawny guy, but my Floozy training stood me in good stead. Got him tied up and completely subdued."

She hauled a scraggly tree limb out of the undergrowth and stood it up on the ground next to her.

"Cushlamochree," Estvan sighed.

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The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: "Good work, Ms. Thomson. Despite your previous behavior, you may yet prove to be a genuine asset. I see you've also scared him into compliance. He's stiff as a board and positively wooden with fear."
>Estvan: Your eye begins twitching... Is this divine punishment for all your past japes?
>The ambush could be bearing down on you any minute. What's the situation? The soldiers are trying to eat dirt, Adler and Thomson are interrogating a stump, Burnside appears to be having a drug induced inner-spirit journey, and what's Brother Matthias doing? Probably nothing useful. Something needs to be done, and soon, or you're all doomed.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: A sudden whif of smoke stones you a little again but this time makes you remember many things from your childhood that would all be very convenient right now to get things moving

>Like that old abandoned scrying tower who also had a portal to the lowfolk world which you could use to sneak into the capital perimeter through the lowfolk world or use to scry on the ambush the the marshal has planned for you.

>Like the fact that somehow the good sir Ravenmad seemed to move pretty freely between the hall of ancestors and the underworks under the city which might mean they are cpnnected by another set of secret tunnels. Doesn't cost anything to go check.

>Like the fact the Master of Elfham somehow could once get a carriage ahead of yourself using some kind of ham dimension based transportation. Maybe you can get an army like that

>Hell if you're really deseperate you could even try those cracks in the faerie realms... they are still a thing, right ?

>Like the fact you or at least Estvan can pook, which could let you get a spy/sabteur into the capital. Just put some of that funny herb into their stews...

>Like the fact you can change shape. You could turn into an ixie to fly into the capital again. Or you could turn into something else more creative. Hey why not try a dragon or a gaint and you know, just make a hole yourself into the defense ?

(Sorry I'm not on tumbler or I would give you some likes.)
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Meanwhile, what's Meadow up to? :)
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: Snap to the sobering thought that your army is less than useless right now, they're actively humiliating you by making you the laughingstock of the realm.
>Adler: Change of plans. Confront Estemere directly and nip this in the bud. You know how to get into his throne room undetected.

I'd imagine that one of the problems of being as long-lived being as elf is that maintaining face becomes super important. Imagine people keeping giving you grief for something that happened a hundred years ago, and looking towards a good thousand years more of that waiting for you!
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Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Estvan: Sober up the army by using one of the tricks you learned back in your college years, place everyone's hand in a cup of warm coffee and then kick them.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Note that sobriety cantrips are quite common in the shining land: Winterbough has demonstrated them many times in the Saga.

(SALV Silverbrush) Open your envelope of Secret Orders. Read.
(SALV Silverbrush) Come to the conclusion, based on the contents, that you got the wrong envelope.
(Adler) Go off on a truly corking Irenaean temper tantrum about things in general.
(Adler) Recall to your Army what Irenaeus did to armies of his that displeased him.
(Wise Professor Skunk) Explain to the readers what, precisely, the Lacktail did.
(Wise Professor Skunk) Omit certain gruesome details, like the bits involving ants and honey.
(Stolen Comb) Be examined closely by somefur deeply interested in it.
(Estmere) Enjoy life in general.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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Quote:>Adler: "Good work, Ms. Thomson. Despite your previous behavior, you may yet prove to be a genuine asset. I see you've also scared him into compliance. He's stiff as a board and positively wooden with fear."
>Estvan: Your eye begins twitching... Is this divine punishment for all your past japes?

[Image: 0221thumb_zpsl5p82bz1.gif]

"Great work, Thomson!" I exclaimed, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs-up sign. "I was worried about you for a while there, but it looks like you're proving to be a valuable asset to my team. You've got that guy totally subdued. He's scared stiff as a board."

"Fuma preserve us," Estvan muttered grimly. "Sure an' could this be some manner o' punishment?"

Quote:Estvan: Sober up the army Adler by using one of the tricks you learned back in your college years

[Image: 0221spalpeen_zpszcydecb2.gif]

"I've said it before, an' I'll say it again," the old fox snapped as he whacked my head with his shillelagh. "Wake up, ye spalpeen! Yon floozy has captured a log. A LOG!! Sure an' yer still bedazed an' befuddled by that wicked herb, an' it's captured you'll be by a squad o' potted plants if ye don't start thinkin' and actin' right soon!"

Quote:>The ambush could be bearing down on you any minute. What's the situation? The soldiers are trying to eat dirt, .. Thomson .. interrogating a stump, Burnside appears to be having a drug induced inner-spirit journey... Something needs to be done, and soon, or you're all doomed.
this time makes you remember many things
>Adler: Snap to the sobering thought that your army is less than useless right now, they're actively humiliating you by making you the laughingstock of the realm.
(Adler) Recall to your Army what Irenaeus did to armies of his that displeased him.

[Image: 0221thoughtful_zps6xuoobfp.gif]

"Thanks, I needed that," I yelped as the pain cleared my mind. I rubbed my head and stroked my chin thoughtfully as I pondered our situation.

My army was in no state to march right now, let alone face combat. Burnside and Thomson were both addled by the pipeweed's noxious vapors. Estvan was right; something needed to be done right away, and I was going to have to do it myself.

Quote:>Like that old abandoned scrying tower

I recalled that there was a still-functioning scrying tower on the outskirts of Albric Tor, not far from our present position. If I could get there, it would be a good defensible stronghold .. and if I could figure out how to operate the scrying device, I might be able to discover the placement of the Marshal's forces and anticipate his strategies. To take the tower and hold it, though, I would need to get there with my army .. and I had no way of knowing first whether it was defended or not.

Quote:>Adler: Change of plans. Confront Estemere directly and nip this in the bud. You know how to get into his throne room undetected.

It would probably be best if I could get into the Palace and talk to Estmere directly. He was a sensible elf; if I explained the situation to him, brother to brother, he would probably understand. As long as I let him keep some floozies, he might peacefully abdicate the throne. But how could I get from here into the Palace?

Quote:sir Ravenmad seemed to move pretty freely between the hall of ancestors and the underworks under the city which might mean they are cpnnected by another set of secret tunnels.

The strange buck's mention of tunnels reminded me of the way Sir Ravenmad was able to move rapidly around the city via the Underworks. There was probably a way into them from the Hall of Ancestors, which wasn't far from here. If I could gain access to those tunnels, I might be able to find my way into the Palace.

Quote:the Master of Elfham somehow could once get a carriage ahead of yourself using some kind of ham dimension based transportation.

The Master of Elhame had used some sort of Gnostermonger hamomancy to transport himself into the Palace pantry. That skill would have come in useful now, but I had never learned it.

Quote:you or at least Estvan can pook, which could let you get a spy/sabteur into the capital.

Estvan had taught me to do Pooka Vanish, which was almost as good as hamomancy - but alas, I was not proficient enough to pook all the way to the Palace from here. Plus there was always significant danger in pooking to a location that one could not see.

Quote:you could even try those cracks in the faerie realms

I briefly considered the possibility of using the Gaps to circumvent Theronmyathus' army, but had to scrap that idea as soon as I thought of it. Gaps were too unpredictable. There was no way of knowing where one would appear. Plus, the temporal shift between the worlds was such that any army using a Gap for transport would show up years or even decades late for the battle. This might have been an effective strategy any other time, but we were on a tight schedule! I had to take the throne before Edessa gave birth to her royal child!

Quote:you can change shape. You could turn into an ixie to fly into the capital again. Or you could turn into something else more creative.

Eventually I decided that my best chance would be to transmogrify into something that would enable me to sneak into the city unseen .. or at least unchallenged. The forms I knew how to do were: A fish, a mer-elf, an Ixie, and a beautiful vixen. There probably wasn't time to learn a new one, so one of these would have to do - but which one?

Quote:>SALV Silverbrush: ... your own father? Your very own flesh and blood, the one who sired you.

[Image: 0221daughter_zpslph1wsot.gif]

"Papa," SALV Silverbrush called plaintively as she pooked into the area.

"Macushla?" Estvan asked, startled. "Begorrah, Sofie me dearie, what is it yer doin' out here?"

"Oh Papa, I've missed U," the SALV pleaded. "Please come home. I want 2 sit in ur lap and listen 2 U tell stories of teh Long Ago."

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The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
T'was Saturday night in an old mining town
Jake's bar room was merry and gay
While far from the laughter a mother did wait
For Pop to come home with his pay
"What's keeping dear Father, why doesn't he come?"
The daughter exclaimed through her tears
The Mother replied, "I'm sadly afraid
Your Father has stopped for some beers"

Ohhh...Oh!
The doors swing in, the doors swing out
Where some pass in, and others pass out
Your Father, I fear, has his nose in the beer
Behind those swinging door-or-ors,
(Hic)
Behind those swinging doors.

"Oh I shall go fetch him" the daughter declared
"He shan't bring disgrace to our name"
Then straight-way she ran to the corner saloon
To save her poor Father from shame
"Dear Father, Dear Father come home with me now
The clock in the steeple strikes two" (Ding, Ding, Ding)
"Dear Mother is waiting, the rent must be paid
Don't spend all your money for brew"

Ohhh...Oh!
The doors swing in, the doors swing out
Where some pass in, and others pass out
Through the smoke and the haze
There stood Pop in a daze
Behind those swinging door-or-ors,
(Hic)
Behind those swinging doors.

Each Saturday night at the corner saloon
The miners come in with their gold
And Father blows in all his wages for gin
And Nellie blows home in the cold
"Dear Mother", she wailed, "My mission I've failed,
My Father will ne'er mend his ways"
The Mother explained "We'll suffer the shame,
It's always the woman who pays"

Ohhh...Oh!
The doors swing in, the doors swing out
Where some pass in, and others pass out
This story is told of a fool and his gold
Behind those swinging door-or-ors,
(Hic - Burp)
Behind those swinging doors.

Spike Jones & his City Slickers (Vocal: Del Porter) - 1941
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>They never expect a fish, so it's obviously the most tactically sound option.
>Get someone to carry you in a bucket, claim to the waitstaff that you're tonight's main course or something.
Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: Yes, you've got a plan now, and it's Brilliant! Just like all your plans which have never backfired ever.
>Give Thomson and Burnside a good crack on the head to sober them up, then they can whack some soldiers on the head which in turn can help sober up the rest.
>The army can take the scrying tower while you sneak into the city, they can transport the prisoner by stuffing her in a sack or something. If you can't see anyone in the tower from here, chances are the opposing force put all their eggs in the tunnel ambush's basket.
>With the tower as a good defensible position, they can fight off the ambush then take the secret tunnels into the city and emerge to help you at a suitably dramatic moment. (If meals are an issue, just remind them they can go to the tower now, or be killed by the ambush)
>With all your grand machinations that would make all your militarily minded forebears weep in pride, turn into an Ixie and fly incognito into the city.
>As you fly into the city, just keep thinking how absolutely fantastic your plan is. Well, of course it's fantastic, YOU thought of it. *Plink* Ow! What'd you fly into? Huh, the inside of the city looks a lot more like the inside of an Inescapable Enchanted Vulpitinian Trap Jartm than you remember..... Oh.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Vulpitanian agent working as a chef in a far away place, open your sealed orders at the predetermined time. Be confused by what you read, but as any good operative, go follow them to the letter, no matter how confusing they seem.

Adler, go as Relda and attempt to seduce your way into the city. Succeed, but only to be dragged by a group of Vulpitanians right into the Embassy. It would seem they were expecting somebody of Relda's description to arrive.

Yolanda's & son's, have your opening night right as the other half of the Silverbrush family arrives. Yolanda, explain the reason of opening such an odd establishment. Boo Boo, immediately figure out the real reason why Sofie is there, but once again, do not be believed by the grown-ups.

Sir Ravenmad, be one of the few customers of Y&s. Somehow be actually enjoying yourself. Recite poetry out of sheer happiness.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
(SALV Silverbrush) Give your old tod a love token -- a dish of rarebit!
(Estvan Silverbrush) Be deeply moved by the gift of FOOD!
(HSH Prince Adler) Be very annoyed that Estvan is being distracted.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Be very annoyed that Adler is annoyed that Estvan is being distracted.
(Estvan Silverbrush) Nom the rarebit as only you can.
(Army) Ask if the little cub has any more rarebit.
(Army) Start to riot when the answer is "no."
(HSH Prince Adler) During all the confusion, change into snow-vixen form.
(HSH Princess Adler) Stomp off in a huff. Or go slowly, and stomp off in a minute and a huff.
(HSH Princess Adler) Stomp past the guards, who are dazzled by your snow-white fur.
(Scuti) Impatiently DEMAND Fuma's Teeth.
(Now mustache-less fox of great familiarity) Consider your reply to the Scuti.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Adler: Before you continue with this absoltivlytoply great plan grab the rest of the weed to poison the opposing force. Then strut your stuff through the front gates like you own the damn place!
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
I've switched to imgur personnaly and, so far at least, I have no complains for it.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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Quote:>They never expect a fish, so it's obviously the most tactically sound option.
>Adler: Yes, you've got a plan now, and it's Brilliant! Just like all your plans

[Image: 0228eureka_zpsm2t71nnj.gif]

"That's it!" I exclaimed. "I'll go as a fish! This is briliant! They'll never expect it. I just need someone to carry me in a bucket, and we'll let everyone think I'm to be filleted for Estmere's supper."

Quote:>Get someone to carry you in a bucket, claim to the waitstaff that you're tonight's main course or something.
>Estvan: You've been neglecting your fatherly duties, you thoughtless, old fool! Tearfully embrace your child and tell her that she can have all the stories she wants. You'll never leave her side again and she can have a never ending stream of stories forever and ever and ever. Looks like her plan worked a little too well.
(HSH Prince Adler) Be very annoyed that Estvan is being distracted.

[Image: 0228where_zpsg5r3pvml.gif]

"Estvan, I need you to -" I exclaimed as I turned around, but Estvan was nowhere to be seen. "Where'd he go? And that little vixen who was here a second ago?"

This put a crimp in my plans. Nobody else was sober enough to trust with such an important task .. though as I thought about it, the fish plan started to make less and less sense. How would anybody in my army be able to get past the city guards? Even Estvan, unless he transmogrified into someone completely unrecognizable, would surely be challenged. And our cover story was uncomfortably close to a lie, which of course was a thing that elves do not do!

If I was going to infiltrate Albric Tor, I was going to have to do it on my own - which meant that the fish and mer-elf disguises were not feasible.

Quote:>The army can take the scrying tower while you sneak into the city, they can transport the prisoner by stuffing her in a sack or something. If you can't see anyone in the tower from here, chances are the opposing force put all their eggs in the tunnel ambush's basket.
>With the tower as a good defensible position, they can fight off the ambush then take the secret tunnels into the city and emerge to help you at a suitably dramatic moment.

It also meant that I would have to leave my army briefly under the command of my lieutenants.

[Image: 0228salute_zpsb5tts84l.gif]

"Thomson! Burnside!" I commanded. "I'm pretty sure that prisoner isn't going anywhere. Go find a sack to stuff Thompson in for safekeeping. We don't want her causing any more trouble, nor reporting back to her superiors. After that, you need to go around and slap these troops back to their senses and try to capture the South scrying tower. It is probably lightly defended if Theronmyathus has concentrated his forces in this tunnel ambush that Earl Speedy told us about. I am going on a covert mission into the city, and I will expect to rendesvous with you at the tower when I return."

"Yes sir," Thomson replied with a crisp salute. "It shall be done, Highness."

"Anything to atone for all the turrible thangs I done," Burnside moaned miserably.

Quote:turn into an Ixie and fly incognito into the city.
Adler, go as Relda and attempt to seduce your way into the city.
change into snow-vixen form.
strut your stuff through the front gates like you own the damn place!

The next question was: Ixie or vixen? I initially favored the Ixie since it could fly and was small enough to go unnoticed .. but what if I needed to talk to someone, or open a door? On further reflection I realized that only Relda Fauxfox could carry out this mission.

I rummaged around in a supply wagon and found a loose chainmail ring and a padlock, which I changed into a monocle and medal to complete my disguise.

[Image: 0228relda_zps58m3nuer.gif]

"Right then. Off I go," I barked after finishing my transmogrification. I adjusted my eyepiece one last time, and strode determinedly up the road toward the city.

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The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>The very definite Relda Fauxfox *conspiratorial wink*: As you approach the entrance you see that it's being guarded by the two very unprofessional constables who arrested you some time ago. One is loudly complaining about his marital problems to the world in general and the other is standing knee-deep in a pile of bottled ships and very pointedly building another one instead of doing his job.
>Avogadro: Pull yourself away from your creepy shrine dedicated to Fauxfox and cease your weeks long session of uninterrupted weeping. Your pathetic, loneliness senses are tingling. She's here. She's alive and well and somewhere close by. You must find her at once and confess your burning love.
>Marshal Sweetcheeks: Receive intelligence that the Lengra-Cha vixen that beat the stuffing out of you has been spotted entering the city. Since most women react to you with violence, you assume that's how affection works. Obviously her kicking you in the head was something akin to a marriage proposal. You must go find her and personally inform her that you will accept her obviously burning love.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>The real Relda Fauxfox: Run into Adler.

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Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
When did this start back updating? I'm so late for the party....

I'm actually neither here nor there with the posting on Patreon. I'll probably just lurk in lieu of creating yet another account. Another suggestion is FA (Fur Affinity) which no one has mentioned...


On to the fun!
>Fifi! Observe Adler changing into Relda note that as a female, "he" looks better than you do. Become jealous and plot an ambush.

>Avogadro: because of your depression over the unsolved case of Relda Fauxfox's disappearance, be assigned to watch over the very same entrance Adler (as Relda) intends to use. Hijinks ensue.

>Thompson: Wake up a bruised mess...swear revenge against Thomson and Adler (just because) for ruining her good looks. Conveniently forget that she knows healing magic.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Fauxfox: Entering back into the city you are surprised to find that in your absence Fauxfox has become a celebrity icon with pictures of her hung up all around the city and cloying fans everywhere. You realize that your disguise is going to be a major hindrance now that insane fans are chasing after you begging for autographs.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
(HSH Princess Relda) Discover, indeed, a curious cult of fursonality regarding yourself in the capital.
(Capital) Be festooned with posters, souvenirs, &c. of yourself.
(Capital) Have an ongoing FauFoxCon, with thousands of furs dressed up like you.
(Foxsuiters) Some be better than others.
(HSH Princess Relda) Realize you can hide among the many copies of yourself.
(HSH Princess Relda) Get an award for "Best Relda Suit" unexpectedly.
(Avogadro) Be depressed by FauFoxCon.
(Avogadro) Sense that the winner of the contest may not be a suiter after all...
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
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Quote:>The real Relda Fauxfox: Run into Adler.
>Fifi! Observe that as a female, "he" looks better than you do.

As I strode along the road, suddenly Fifi Fofox emerged from the bushes alongside me.

[Image: 0307hififi_zpsgv5w9vak.gif]

"Hi, SALV," she chirped cheerfully. "Wow, you're like totally hot. I love your outfit; where did you get it? You seem really familiar but I can't place you. Did you go to the Lengra-Cha School for Wayward Vixens? I'm Esmerelda Fofox, but everybody calls me Fifi."

"I am called Relda Fauxfox," I replied cautiously.

"Oh wow, that's like totally similar to my name!" Fifi observed with much more excitement than the fact warranted. "I wonder if our ancestors were related back in the Long Ago. Are you heading up to Albric Tor? Are you on a Secret Mission?"

"Yes, I am going to the Capital, and I do have a mission," I admitted.

"Cool! Let's like, go together. It's been ages since I saw another Lengra-Cha fox. How are things back home?"

"I have not been to Lengra-Cha in a very long time," I stated with absolute truth.

"Oh, like, me neither," Fifi shrugged. "I wonder if that old Adoyret monastery is still there, you know, the one with the tall spire, on the edge of the glacier ..."

Quote:As you approach the entrance you see that it's being guarded by the two very unprofessional constables who arrested you some time ago. One is loudly complaining about his marital problems to the world in general and the other is standing knee-deep in a pile of bottled ships and very pointedly building another one instead of doing his job.

SALV Fofox babbled merrily about the old country until we reached the walls of Albric Tor. Our road led us to a small side gate guarded by two familiar-looking constables.

[Image: 0307guards_zpsonwgsd9f.gif]

"So then she has the cheek to ask me where I'd been all afternoon," the canine guard ranted as we approached. "I say I've been workin' which is Fuma's own truth, for elves dinna lie. Workin' to put food on the table, and speakin' o' which, where's the supper? Well, at that, she goes into a right proper tantrum, never mind the fact that durin' the same time she's askin' me about, she has seemingly been doin' nothin' at all, but is it ever my right to inquire how me bravoes are bein' spent? NOOOO."

The other constable merely grunted occasionally to indicate he was dutifully pretending to listen to the wolf's monologue, while he carefully assembled a model ship inside a glass jug. The fact that he was standing hip-deep in a pile of similar jugs suggested to me that maybe these two had been here for a while.

"Here for the big Vulpitanian thingamajig?" the wolf asked when he saw us approach. "Pardon me sayin' so, but you two are the best lookin' contestants I've seen."

"Why thanks," Fifi giggled.

"Go on in then, and if ye should spy any of me fellow-constables, kindly ask 'em when's Nero and Angus's relief comin?"

Quote:a celebrity icon with pictures of her hung up all around the city and cloying fans everywhere.
(Capital) Have an ongoing FauFoxCon, with thousands of furs dressed up like you.
(Foxsuiters) Some be better than others.

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As we entered Albric Tor, I was astonished to see the streets crowded with femmes of all breeds, shapes, and sizes, with their arms and legs dyed black, and dressed in skimpy metallic smallclothes.

"Oh sweet!" Fifi exclaimed. "I totally forgot that PieFightValKon was in Albric Tor this year! We should like, enter the costume contest! We have a way better chance than any of these mingers. The top three entrants get to dine with SALV Kraekenhoepfer herself!"

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The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
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RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: Be shepherded directly into the throng of contest participants. All of your objections keep getting misconstrued as quotes from the Pie Fight Whatsit series. Everyone is really impressed.
>Adler: This is the exact opposite of stealth! You're in the middle of a public contest being scrutinized by thousands of eyes. Where's Estvan when you need him? He could've distracted these people for you to sneak through.
>Estvan: You've run out of all your best stories, but your daughter keeps asking for more. You decide to delve into the store of stories you have that you've never told anyone because, well, they're kinda boring. Like when you had an itchy nose, but kept deciding not to scratch it. Or the time you got down on your hands and knees and followed a snail around in a field for three years. You even tell her the story you wrote for the most uninteresting story in the world contest. She seems to like it, she's covering her ears and banging her head against the wall. Kids today and their crazy youthful expressions.
>Stoned Buck: You are still completely naked, and probably wandered through the palace like that. Anyway, inform Sergeant Avogadro and Marshal Theronmyathus that "Operation: Duke's Killer Bread" was 100% sort-of, partially, almost successful.
>Stoned Buck: Tell Avogadro that he looks way too intense and offer him a weed stick.
>Avogadro: Take the weed stick, you stick in the mud. Have a puff, go on. All the cool elves are doing it.
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