Quote:>Take this opportunity to scare them a little for your own amusement.
>"Alright, hand over your wallets!"
>"Sorry, just passing through, never mind us, have a good day ta-ta!"
Adler > Snap reaction, elfjump on a standing stone and elfshot everyone stupid
>Adler and Company: Just boggle vacantly
In retrospect, I probably should have taken some quick and decisive action, but I was too surprised by the spectacle before us. My mind was a welter of conflicting impulses. I simultaneously considered scaring, robbing, Elfshooting, and heinously snubbing this entire congregation of lowfolk .. but all I actually did was stand there staring for several very long seconds.
Quote:> So are you guys into some weird fetish stuff or..?
>Rabbit tied to stake: ...this isn't what it looks like.
"These lowfolk are into some freaky stuff," I finally muttered.
"Tis not what it looketh like, odious one!" the rabbitess tied to the stake called out.
"Really?" I quipped. "It looks like your people have tied you up to be sacrificed to some otherworldly being which you were expecting to emerge from this gate."
"Oh," the bunny maiden replied. "Then it is how it looketh."
As if waiting for some invisible command, all of the rabbits knelt and prostrated themselves on the ground.
Quote:Adler's party, be mistaken for supernatural entities from another world. Percy, be the only one of the lowfolk to recognize the elves for what they truly are.
"Wait a minute!" someone shouted from behind one of the stones. "I know those elves! Or, well, I know that one!"
I immediately recognized the meddlesome Percy le Gobelet. Regaining my Elfly reflexes, I instantly drew my bow and let loose a debilitating Elf-shot in the bird's direction.
Quote:Percy, be far better prepared to deal with elves this time. Be warded against every elvish trick you could find in stories, as well as a couple you think they might pull on you.
To my astonishment, the Elfshot arrow stopped in mid-air, inches from Percy's face. He chuckled as he plucked the arrow from the air.
"I'm ready for all your tricks this time, My Lord," the bird cackled. "I've warded myself against transmogrification and curses and every conceivable ruse from all the old tales as well as my own foresighted imagination! Thank you for the magical arrow. Now at last I have a piece of tangible evidence to show the Symposium when next we -"
Quote:Ms. thomson > Punch percy out cold
Ms. Thomson rushed at Percy with uncanny ungulate speed, and whalloped him in mid-gloat with her hoof. He collapsed like a bag of feathers, dropping the Elfshot arrow, which disappeared when it touched the ground.
Quote:its a easter sunday tradition to appease the malicious entity from the elf gate in return for a good carrot harvest.
Easter Maiden, consider it to be a great honour to be sacrificed by an actual deity from beyond the Gate. Absolutely refuse to be left unsacrificed, having already relinquished all of your worldly possessions and spent the past month rehearsing your death.
Ceremonial dagger, be presented.
Priest, hand the dagger over to... Thomson, whom the lowfolk rabbits believe to be the actual Spring Goddess. Adler and Fifi, due to your almost completely white fur, be believed to be evil winter deities.
Burnside, be believed to be a trickster imp due to your small size and childlike appearance.
An especially filthy-looking rabbit, bedecked in twigs and ropes of beads, detached itself from the group and stepped cautiously toward Thomson, who stood thoughtfully flexing her hand.
"P-please, Great Horned One," the rabbit whined as it presented a shiny dagger. "Disregard yon uncouth stranger. He swore he would not interfere, else we would ne'er allow him to witness thy ritual. Take thy blade, Horned One. The sacrifice is ready. Accept her in return for thy blessings of bounty. Be not angry, we beseech thee, on account of the interloper. Curb thy wrath. Loose not thy horrid demons upon us."
Thomson took the dagger and inspected it closely.
"Why hesitatest?" the sacrificial maiden asked nervously. "Do I not please thee?"
Quote:Adler's party, debate whether you should take her with you through the gate in order to appease her and the other lowfolk here.
Burnside, suggest rabbit stew as a lunch option.
realize to your surprise that it's of elfish manufacture.
Thomson turned and held out the dagger for Burnside, Fifi, and myself to examine. Immediately the rabbits began to wail and ululate forlornly.
"What do you make of this?" Thomson asked. "It appears to be of Elfish make."
"So it does," I confirmed.
"AAAAH NOOO," the rabbits screamed. "Deliver us not into the hands of the Breaker of Ill Winds!"
"That is totally like, one of those Vulpitanian joke daggers that Duchess Catherine was talking about," SALV Fofox pointed out.
"WOE IS US," the rabbits shrieked. "The Frost-Biter bringeth our bane! How have we displeased thee, Mighty Cornetta, oh Goddess of Spring?"
"I don't like the way this situation is shaping up," I muttered, looking around at the genuflecting rabbits and the staked maiden with tears streaming down her face.
"Obviously Unseelie things have been done here," Thomson added grimly. "And it's been going on for a long time, from the look of it."
"We might ought to, like, take that rabbit chick with us though," Fifi suggested. "It would be like, majorly insulting to refuse a sacrifice. You can totally see how much it means to all of them."
"She's got a point," Burnside added. "Plus, rabbits make great stew."