The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>"You light my fire, honey". Keep a straight face and ignore how cheesy it sounds. Chicks dig cheesy lines.
Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
SpoilerShow

Quote:>Adler: Despite your previous confidence, you simply cannot refuse a request from Ethel. You act too quickly and without thinking, not to mention you're still high. You set yourself on fire.
>"You light my fire, honey". Keep a straight face and ignore how cheesy it sounds. Chicks dig cheesy lines.

0410flambe.gif

"You light my fire, baby," I schmoozed as I ignited the closest object I could think of. I'd show Ethel she wasn't the only one around here who could use Wiles!

"Nope, it looks like you lit your own fire," Ethel observed. "Is it the wyrmweed, or do elves always use their tails as torches?"

"AIEE!" I remarked. "PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!!"

Quote:>Ethel: Quickly help Adler put out his burning fur.

0410extinguish.gif

Ethel quickly leaped into action, swatting vigorously to extinguish the flames. I didn't know which was hurt more, my singed & battered tail or my dignity.

I needed to do something to salvage this situation! Something that would demonstrate my authority and my tactical prowess!

I summoned an Ixie, and she arrived almost instantly, munching on a tiny green bug.

"In case Jerry himself forgets to mention it," I instructed, "I need you to make sure everyone at Percysthorpe knows that SALV Relda Fauxfox gave Jerry his quest. What on Fuma's green earth are you eating?"

"I owe thee, Sire," the Ixie burped. "None of my sisters wagered thou wouldst go so far as to set thyself alight. I won six aphids by thy tomfoolery."

I could hear Ethel stifle a chuckle behind me.

Quote:>Adler: In some desperate attempt to try and salvage the situation and impress Ethel, summon an Ixie to relay your new plans
>Ixie: Inform Adler that you and the others have been watching the entire time and taking bets on how badly he would embarrass himself.
Adler: Be angry at the Ixie for taking bets on you
Ethel: Punch Adler in the shoulder for being mean to such a precious little creature

0410cuteixie.gif

"What?" I demanded imperiously. "Have you been spying and taking bets on your lord?"

"Spying is our profession, Sire."

"How dare you!" I seethed. "I forbid any such practice from now on! You are to spy FOR me, not ON me!"

"Hey, don't be mean to the cute little ladybug fairy," Ethel scolded me. "Such a precious tiny creature! I had no idea they were real! What is its name?"
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Ixie: Have a really dumb name.
>Adler: "Wait, you just carry a bag of black powder around everywhere you go?"
>Ethel: "Yes."
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Ixie: Buttercup
Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Ixie: Be offended that this lowfolk cur would dare to ask what your name is, smite her with all your power!
Ethel: Be very unimpressed by Adler's minions, why is this sparkling pixie trying to slap you?
Adler: DEFEND YOUR LOVE!
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
(04-14-2019, 08:10 AM)El Santo Wrote: »Ixie: Be offended that this lowfolk cur would dare to ask what your name is, smite her with all your power!

(Somehow I doubt the Ixie would care. I'm pretty sure to them , lowfolks and elves are the same: Suckers to be milked for all the money and shugar possible. Only reason Addler get sometign going he's because he's her dad.)

>Ixie: Your name is Pepper. Because you sting.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
SpoilerShow

Quote:>Ixie: Have a really dumb name.
>Ixie: Buttercup
Ixie: Be offended that this lowfolk cur would dare to ask what your name is, smite her with all your power!
Ethel: Be very unimpressed by Adler's minions
Adler: DEFEND YOUR LOVE!
>Ixie: Your name is Pepper. Because you sting.

"My illustrious name," the Ixie declared, "is Typantronn Smuchpepper Santocup. And thou hadst better not laugh!"

0417myname.gif

"Typantronn Smuchpepper Santocup?" Ethel snickered. "What kind of name is that?"

"AN ILLUSTRIOUS ONE!" the Ixie snapped as sparks of electrical zapping magick began to twinkle around her. "I'll teach thee to scoff!"

"Ahem," I interrupted sternly. "It seems apparent that the lady already knows full well how to scoff. No need to teach her. Besides, I believe I gave you an assignment to spread vital information in Percysthorpe."

"Some of my sisters can handle it."

"But I asked YOU. Get going."

The Ixie scowled and harrumphed, then buzzed away.

Quote:>Adler: "Wait, you just carry a bag of black powder around everywhere you go?"
>Ethel: "Yes."

0417ofcourse.gif

"I don't think you appreciate, my dear," I said gently to Ethel, "how much danger you were in just now."

"Clearly I don't," Ethel shrugged.

"Do you always carry a bag of explosive powder with you wherever you go?" I asked.

"Of course. Who doesn't?"

I couldn't think of a good answer for that, but a sudden idea came into my head. I could impress this femme who carried volatile materials around and seemed to enjoy combustion in all its forms!

0417uhmm.gif

"YOU WANNA BLOW STUFF UP TOGETHER?" I asked excitedly. "You can lay the powder and I can light it."

"Actually that does sound fun," Ethel admitted. "But it's a little creepy knowing your bug servants are watching us from the trees and apparently taking bets on what we do next."
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Tell her it's okay, knowing that people watch makes things more exciting.
Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
>Adler: "Ixies, I demand that you cease your spying on me! ... Please, you're embarrassing me..."
>Ixies: "No can do. We're not just spies, but your bodyguards too. It's for your own safety. Anyway, I'll put down five more that he'll set himself on fire again."
>Ixies: Start taking a shine to Ethel over her razzing the one with the long name. Typantronn's kind of a huge jerk, no one likes her.
>The promise of explosions and fire outweighs Ethel's misgivings over the peanut gallery. What follows is an adorably awkward montage of Ethel and Adler tentatively bonding over a mutual love of destruction. The cornerstone of any healthy relationship.
>Ethel: There's no way around it, this elf is a dimwitted, smelly hobo with no people skills or any other skills, but, darn it, all that keeps getting overshadowed by the fact that he can start fires with his mind. There might, just might,be some potential here.
>Adler: Ethel is treating you in a way that isn't just her usual barely tolerant, patronizing disdain, you're walking on cloud nine! You also only set yourself on fire three more times. Could this day get any better?
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
Typantronn: As you are flying off and harumpfing, you notice after some time flying over the tree line in a clearing near percythrope a small camp of armed lowfolk, you listen in on their conversation.
Armed soldier 1 (Dale): Begin talking very loudly about all the recently built secret entrances to the Duchess's manor house, hell you even made copies, its a new hobby. Begin passing them out to all of the new recruits, even that really short new recruit that looks like a bug.
Typantronn: You literally had to do nothing they did it all for you
Armed Solider 2 (Chuck The Woodchuck): Talk about your good friend Jerry, and how he recently purchased that new villa on top of the hill, its shaped like a shoe of all things, well Lady Hawk really knows how to pick em
Typantronn: This is too easy something is wrong here, you look to check and make sure your not being punked, your not these guys are really just that stupid, in fact when you report back to Adler, you think you should tell him to make to the education standards in this land.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
SpoilerShow

Quote:>Adler: "Ixies, I demand that you cease your spying on me! ... Please, you're embarrassing me..."
>Ixies: "No can do. We're not just spies, but your bodyguards too. It's for your own safety. Anyway, I'll put down five more that he'll set himself on fire again."
>Ixies: Start taking a shine to Ethel over her razzing the one with the long name. Typantronn's kind of a huge jerk, no one likes her.

0424amscray.gif

"Hey Ixies!" I yelled, and a group of them peeked over the top of one of the menhirs. "You're making the lady uncomfortable! Go away and give us some privacy."

"Can't do that, Sire," they replied. "Spying is our duty as well as our pastime. We are bound by an oath to oversee and protect thee, which supersedes any of thy commands. Plus we also want to see thy legendary Wiles in action."

"Such insolence!" I fumed as they giggled and whispered amongst themselves.

"We like this femme, Sire," one of them sent via Elfmind. "She hath Moxie. Anyone who taketh the piss out of Typantronn is okay in our book."

Quote:>Tell her it's okay, knowing that people watch makes things more exciting.

"I can't get rid of them," I sighed, turning to Ethel. "But think of it this way: Having an audience makes things more exciting."

"Uhh.." Ethel started to protest.

"Just go srpinkle some more powder in that hole," I suggested.

Quote:What follows is an adorably awkward montage of Ethel and Adler tentatively bonding over a mutual love of destruction.
>Ethel: There's no way around it, this elf is a dimwitted, smelly hobo with no people skills or any other skills, but, darn it, all that keeps getting overshadowed by the fact that he can start fires with his mind. There might, just might,be some potential here.
>Adler: Ethel is treating you in a way that isn't just her usual barely tolerant, patronizing disdain, you're walking on cloud nine! You also only set yourself on fire three more times.

0424montage.gif

And so we whiled away the afternoon blowing things up and setting things alight. The way her eyes sparkled at each blast .. the way she giggled with delight when I ignited handfuls of powder which she tossed into the air .. with each combustion she became more relaxed, more warm, more adorable. I didn't know who was using Wiles on whom, and I didn't care. I wanted this moment to last forever.

Quote:Typantronn: As you are flying off and harumpfing, you notice after some time flying over the tree line in a clearing near percythrope a small camp of armed lowfolk, you listen in on their conversation.
Typantronn: This is too easy something is wrong here, you look to check and make sure your not being punked, your not these guys are really just that stupid, in fact when you report back to Adler, you think you should tell him to make to the education standards in this land.

0424news.gif

As Ethel was beating out a wayward blaze on my sleeve, an Ixie buzzed up and saluted me.

"Yes?" I prompted after an awkward pause. "I trust you are interrupting for a reason."

"Typantronn Smuchpepper Santocup reporting, Sire," the Ixie gasped. "Thou art not going to believe this. I did not believe it myself, but I flew on to Percysthorpe and beheld it with my own eyes."

"Go on."

"The town is surrounded by a hostile forest which was not there yesterday."

SpoilerShow
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP: http://adleryoung.tumblr.com
Steampup: Surreal dog-headed Victorian adventure. Winterbough Saga Wiki: Everything we know about Faerie, its history & inhabitants.
See an edited recap of Zandar's Saga, and new pages at my Patreon. Peruse original music at Bandcamp. Or you could just Buy Me a Coffee.
*Adorable plum-munching Mavis avatar by the incomparable Tronn.
Quote
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
SpoilerShow
Quote