Another Me - Your number has been called!

Another Me - Your number has been called!
RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Effy: bend over backwards because of how cute he is
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
> Oh my word, he's ADORABLE

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EFFY: Eeeeee
CLOVER: That’s not how ya fuckin’ do it, man! Hell, what if someone looked through the window right now?!
CLOVER: ... ‘Sides, those horns ain’t even that long, so that doesn’t explain the name. Right, Effy?
CLOVER: ... Effy?
EFFY: eeeeeeeee!
CLOVER: ... Ah geez.

> Is calling a demon adorable an insult?

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CLOVER: C’mon, Eff, cut it out.
EFFY: But... Look at hiiiiim!
CLOVER: (Listen, I know the dude ain’t the most imposin’-lookin’, but I’m pretty sure a demon wouldn’t take kindly to, uh... the whole way you’re reactin’.)
EFFY: (DO YOU THINK I CAN TOUCH HIS FUR??)
CLOVER: Effy!!

> "Should we do something about Selena? I mean, we don't know what she's up to, but it sounds pretty forbidden."

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CLOVER: Look, let’s just freakin’... get back on topic here.
EFFY: (Clo look I think he smiled at me, he’s not mad)
AUBIN: The topic being?
CLOVER: Selena!! I don’t care if she’s not makin’ a zombie army or whatever, ya pretty much SAID she’s aimin’ for necromancy and that doesn’t sound ok!
NIMAH: Oh! Yes!
NIMAH: There is nothing I or my superiors can do unless she manages to bring someone back to life, but if it is at all possible to stop her before she gets to that point...
EFFY: (He’s so FUZZY! I can’t get over how fuzzy he is, oh my gosh! Are all demons like this? Why are they even called demons if they’re all this cute??)
CLOVER: (Cut it out!!!)

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AUBIN: Well, I do intend to keep an eye on her. You have nothing to fear.
AUBIN: In fact... Perhaps I could even do it with your help. She seemed to like you two, so I’m certain she would welcome your company.
AUBIN: Of course, I understand you must be quite busy. But if you have a little more time today, and you wouldn’t mind accompanying me on a short taxi ride...

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AUBIN: There was someone I intended to see today.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
SpoilerShow
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>STABS TIME
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Mystery green guy: exhibit dominance in knife-eating contest
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Flippy McStabby: Explain to Selena that you'll have her money by Tuesday, Wednesday at the latest. Definitely not longer than by Thursday!
Vivian Quest
Tale of a small lizard, crime, and weird biology!
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Egads, who it this dastardly scoundrel I spy? Some cunning rogue endeavoring to leave a mark on the world in a delightfully scrappy way? Carved initials and graffiti on the furniture, overturn all the sofa cushions, switch the salt and sugar containers around, perhaps even stomp on the flower beds out in the yard? Never change, young rebel without a cause, never change.
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Knifey Vinny : Mug the scenery almost as hard as you're mugging this random passerby.
>Oh damnit, it's your crazy sister. You hate when she does that.
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
> Knifey Vinny: Mug the scenery almost as hard as you're mugging this random passerby.

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KNIFEY VINNY???: Uh, that’s like... a zero out of three, kid.
KNIFEY VINNY???: One, that’s not my name; two, I’m not mugging you, I’m explaining this business transaction in terms you can understand. Three, you’re not a random passerby anymore if I’m in your room.
SOFT BOY: Uh, but the first time we met, I was just passing by, and you came to talk to me...
KNIFEY VINNY???: Yeah, and you decided to buy oregano from a guy who just came up to you?? I don’t see how that’s my problem!
SOFT BOY: Oh.
SOFT BOY: W... Wait! If this is a business transaction, why are you pulling a knife on me, Mister...?

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Your name, as far anyone is concerned, is Kaphlar Kinra, as you’re quick to remind the gullible idiot you’re talking to. Clearly, he’s a little slow, so you take things step by step.

Think about it this way: if you walk into a store, demand a product, and get exactly what you asked for, then you can’t very well go back and ask for a refund without a good reason. And if you insist on it, then that’s bordering on harassment, and the staff is well within their rights to exercise self-defense! Right?

You pause to check if the kid is following and hold back a giggle when you see the look on his face.

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SOFT BOY: But... I didn’t get exactly what I asked for! I asked for... I asked for weed! And my partner said that wasn’t weed!
KAPHLAR: Nuh-huh, I remember how it went. I told you I had drugs, you asked me for the goods, I don’t remember you saying the word “weed” at any point!
SOFT BOY: Are you sure?
KAPHLAR: Positive.

Moron asked “Do you really have weed??” like 10 times.

SOFT BOY: Well... You still scammed me. You said you were selling drugs, and I want my money back!
KAPHLAR: No I didn’t.
SOFT BOY: Yes you did!
KAPHLAR: Nooo, I didn’t, and frankly, at the rate we’re going? I think I deserve some compensation for the time we’re wasting here!
SOFT BOY: Compensation?... A-Aaahh!

> STABS TIME

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KAPHLAR: Hahah! Relax, kiddo! This is all part of the negotiations, you get me~? Here’s the deal.
KAPHLAR: You’re pretty rich, right? I can tell, you know! Got an eye for these things!
SOFT BOY: Huh...?
KAPHLAR: So, do your parents know you’ve been looking into buying *GASP* drugs with their money??
KAPHLAR: I mean, obviously I can’t go to the police. But if someone just happened to tip off your parents... Or even the internet...
SOFT BOY: You... You can’t do that! You don’t even know who...
KAPHLAR: The Dawns, right? Pret~ty big deal!

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EXASPERATED PARTNER: Stellwyn, is this the dealer?
SOFT BOY: ... Yeah...
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Taylor: "Elysian, why are you pointing a knife at Stellwyn?"

>Kaphlar: Do you have enough knives for two children?
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Do I look like somebody working at a casino, cutting cards?
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>KAPHLAR: Very suddenly regret all your life decisions. All of them.
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
> Do I look like somebody working at a casino, cutting cards?

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KAPHLAR: Is that any way to address me? Do I look like I stand around in dark alleyways asking kids if they want drugs?
SOFT BOY: I mean, that’s not far off from...
KAPHLAR: Shh, I’m doing a thing here. Do I look like I cut cards at a casino?
SOFT BOY: Huh??
KAPHLAR: You know, like a dealer. Do I--
EXASPERATED PARTNER: You look like an ass. Is the bit over?
KAPHLAR: Oh, very funny.

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KAPHLAR: Anyway, kiddo, I don’t care if you’ve got company now. Business negotiations are still ongoing. Here, I’ll make it short and sweet: you keep the cash coming and everybody’s happy. No trouble at all. How’s that?
EXASPERATED PARTNER: You’re forgetting something.
KAPHLAR: Uh-huh? What’s that?
EXASPERATED PARTNER: You may be taller... and armed... but there’s two of us, and only one of you.
SOFT BOY: ... That’s right! I may not look it, but I can fight! You’re not scary, you’re just annoying!

> Kaphlar: Do you have enough knives for two children?

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KAPHLAR: ... Oh?
KAPHLAR: I guess... Maybe you have a point... I’ve got a knife, but the numbers aren’t on my side...
KAPHLAR: Well, how about this? Four-eyes here gets the knife...

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KAPHLAR: ... And the shorty gets to try some of this!
SOFT BOY & EXASPERATED PARTNER: !!
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Kaphlar: "Looks like it's time... for a weenie roast."
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Say, wouldn't killing your customers hurt your profits in the long run? Word like that gets around. Rough them up a little and up the price, teach 'em a lesson they'll actually remember.
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Kaph: ok on those online tests that tell you how many middle schoolers you could take in a fight, how many did you get
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
> "Four Eyes": Bite down on the knife that's apparently right in front of your mouth.
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Okay the magic does ommand some respect. get your cash, no problems.

>And then get in even bigger trouble for having flashed you magic in public. (Seriously who even need it against two middle schoolers)
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RE: Another Me - Your number has been called!
>Crotch kick evasion maneuver!
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