Hawk → Space

Poll: Space Hawk In Space
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→ Moon
6.25%
1 6.25%
→ Training
12.50%
2 12.50%
→ Mars
0%
0 0%
→ Specialized Hydrophonics
25.00%
4 25.00%
→ Earth
0%
0 0%
→ Selfie
6.25%
1 6.25%
→ Profit
25.00%
4 25.00%
→ "Science Rules"
25.00%
4 25.00%
Total 16 vote(s) 100%
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Hawk → Space
#1
Hawk → Space
Hawk → Training → Funding → Training → Funding → Training → Music Video → Space Hawk → Advanced Training → Funding → Advanced Training → Talk to Family after Several Years → Super Space Hawk → Funding → Super Funding → Tests → Training for Old Times Sake → Space
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#2
RE: Hawk → Space
I think if we give the hawk an extra leg it'll go up faster
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#3
RE: Hawk → Space
Hello, I'm a member of the space budget oversight committee. I'd like to talk to you about a few discrepancies I've found in the budget lines, and I have a few questions about how this may affect the viability of the project, especially if backers were to draw certain conclusions and pull their funding. Do you have a minute?
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#4
RE: Hawk → Space
(06-08-2017, 12:33 AM)Wheat Wrote: »Hello, I'm a member of the space budget oversight committee. I'd like to talk to you about a few discrepancies I've found in the budget lines, and I have a few questions about how this may affect the viability of the project, especially if backers were to draw certain conclusions and pull their funding. Do you have a minute?

Not really, but go ahead.
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#5
RE: Hawk → Space
This is something that needs full attention, so I'd prefer setting up an appointment for a full meeting some other time. However, i'll run three of the most important discrepancies by you quickly.

First of all, the announcement of the project stated that the hawk will be trained by "the greatest falconry/space experts the world has to offer.' Strangely, only two out of eighteen line entries marked 'trainer budget' are associated with a person. The other sixteen are marked to real-estate holding companies.

Second, there are 30 different line entries for "booster technology," ranging from $10 to $80 and occurring weekly on saturdays and sundays coinciding with the times and dates of sports matches. I tried to visit the booster technology department, but the door is locked and the phone is disconnected. A glance from the side window makes it look like that part of the building is completely empty.

Finally: There is a bi-weekly entry for "PR - Hawk Visibility." These entries are all marked from the Seychelles. This would be concerning enough as it is without the fact that no one has seen the hawk in public in at least three weeks.

Do you have any insight as to these discrepancies? What is the current status of the Hawks in Space project?
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#6
RE: Hawk → Space
I have sent a copy of these remarks to your inbox to answer at your leisure.
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#7
RE: Hawk → Space
Alternate plan:

Hawkbait -> Net -> Tangle of String -> High Altitude Weather Balloon -> Space
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#8
RE: Hawk → Space
HAWK
HARK
PARK
PARE
PACE
SPACE
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#9
RE: Hawk → Space
HAWK
HACK
PACK
PACE
SPACE
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#10
RE: Hawk → Space
Hawk → Maybe Missing But No One Panic
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#11
RE: Hawk → Space
It's been two weeks and I haven't received a reply on the questions I tendered. I hoped this could be settled internally, but I feel like I've been stonewalled by anyone I've asked with regards to The Hawk in Space project.

So I have ready a press packet to be sent to various media agencies containing a full list of discrepancies with a general demand for public inquiry. Unless the reply got lost in transit somehow (mistakes happen!) and you can send it to me by 8:00 pm EST tonight, I will be sending it to various press outlets for first edition print and morning news tomorrow.
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#12
RE: Hawk → Space
I'm sure you've been watching the news the past week as the stories spiraled out of control. I'm sure this is what no one wanted when central command suggested putting a hawk into space. But it is too late to put the hawk back in the dark.

The best thing you all could do now is to establish a Truth and Reconciliation council for what went wrong. You may not like the idea of it, but it would be better for you to get behind it while you still have some say in the action instead of the political process building up an independent inquiry that will surely recommend hanging everyone out to dry.
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#13
RE: Hawk → Space
We demand answers from the Hawkspace Bureau!

Answers!
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#14
RE: Hawk → Space
Hawk → Dead → Ceremony Held Privately a Week Ago → New Hawk Replacement
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#15
RE: Hawk → Space
Me → Unemployed → Lawsuits Pending
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#16
RE: Hawk → Space
All of this world-upending scandal and ruin is great, but it would be just super if someone could get back to me on the missing line seven budget item. That's what this started with, the employee coffee budget. If I don't get a clarification by next tuesday, there will be no more office complementary coffee.
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#17
RE: Hawk → Space
Coffee and Coffee Budget → Dumped in the Ocean
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#18
RE: Hawk → Space
Thank you. I can finally pass on to the otherrealm. My spirit thanks you.
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