Big Tex has a great day with friends.

Big Tex has a great day with friends.
#1
Big Tex has a great day with friends.
[Image: 400px-Big_Tex_fire.2_retouched.jpg]

You are Big Tex. You're on fire, again.

Upon your extravagant stage, adorned by faux-cacti you BIG TEX stand stoic and alone. A watchful eye are that you are for the great city of Dallas, not unlike a majestic bald eagle looming over a great valley keeping a close eye out for carrion in which to feast upon, have been taken aback by a deed most foul. Three hooligans! A trio of shady bandits has entered your humble domain in order to befoul your eternal station. A lone Molotov sails through the air, flames dancing the dance of the great celebration gods from the top of it as it spirals its heated rage through the fractured time between you and they. It impacts, erupting all over your smooth plastic and plaster body and igniting every single part of you right down to your eternal suffering soul.

A great evil awakens within you.

Through the flames, body deteriorating with every passing second as though you were but a salt cube in the mighty Colorado river, you take one large step out of your accursed cement prison and into the wider world at large. The goons have since fled, like baby spiders seeing the true horror of a scared mothers dusting equipment. And you, are nonplussed. What shall you do?


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Fanart?!?:
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#2
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
Where the fuck is your horse.
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#3
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
eat wildlife
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#4
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
>Go to Hollywood and become a film star.
or
>Hit Las Vegas and find your fortune
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#5
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
"I AM YOUR GOD NOW"
I say as I trample towards the three hooligans flames licking my plastic flesh, chasing down the bandits who burned my god like form.
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#6
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
scoop down and pick them up
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#7
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
you're the state fair mascot!! eat some delicious fair food. chomp chomp yum its time for funnel cakes
[Image: egg005.png?raw=1][Image: egg005.png?raw=1][Image: egg005.png?raw=1]
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#8
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
(07-23-2017, 05:33 AM)Loather Wrote: »you're the state fair mascot!! eat some delicious fair food. chomp chomp yum its time for funnel cakes

This but replace fair food with the meanest looking people you can find.
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#9
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
[Image: 1469811368-StateFair2.jpg_10-08-2014_Uid_State_1_1.jpg]

You eat some funnel cakes, yum yum! You look around for those guys, but they're gone. A horse! You require a horse.

A meteor has struck the earth, a blast of energy radiates from the impact site. This is, your foot being put down upon the ground for the very first time. White picket fences, traditional texmex cuisine stalls and the very asphalt itself all spontaneously combust into a brilliant spectacle not unlike the raw emotion displayed by a NASCAR fan as the horse they have bet on slips into second place. Your surroundings, ablaze, give no insight as to the whereabouts of the treacherous fools whom have freed you from your peaceful slumber. It seems as though, they had been sent here for that purpose alone, and have now moved onto greater heights. But you aren't going to let that stand between you and sweet vengeance, the taste for which you long so much. Looking to the heavens above, shrouded by a thick smog and illuminated by the buzzing industrial glow of Dallas, you release a warning to the angels above. A single fireball, shot straight into the air. It sails up like an ill fated rocket launch carrying the hopes of the nation, as it explodes in the sky in a magnificent fashion.

The smog has been cleared, the power it is out.
The stars can be seen, on this western night.


Above it glows red and fire begins to fall upon the city below, igniting entire city blocks as though they were dry kindling. You hunger. Twirling around you spy a glowing iron sheet roof standing above a burning shed and you tear it from its structurally bound state, preferring rather to bend it into a rough funnel shape. With every step you take the sounds of distressed livestock grows louder, they are being cooked alive like a canary in coal mine that's ignited. But they should not fear for you wish only to put them out of the misery, savages that they are. One by one, you funnel them in to your gaping maw. Your fire burns bright. This grand city is yours now and you will cleanse it of the putrid wastes that populate it, to get there some assistance will be necessary, a mutual relationship to rival that of king and their army. A mighty steed is the you, Big Tex, are in need of and this is what you shall fashion for yourself.

So what, Big Tex, shall you fashion a steed from.
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#10
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
your asshole! hahahhhahahahahahahahaha
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#11
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
make a cute goat friend!
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#12
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
big blue ox
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#13
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
human flesh
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#14
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
>Fashion a glowing neon steed from the ferris wheel.
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#15
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
Make a steed, from your seed
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invest pisscoin
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#16
RE: Big Tex has a great day with friends.
To play off of Type's suggestion
Build a mighty steed from the Ferris wheel by turning it into a unicycle and use the flagpole flying the stars and stripes as your balance.
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