[Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)

[Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
[Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)

This is Wizard Jail: A jail used by gods to house magical beings too dangerous to live, but too potentially useful or amusing to kill immediately. Wizard Jail's location is a complete mystery. There are absolutely no doors, windows, or any means of seeing outside.

Every seven years, a game named [The Cycle of Magic] is held by the God of Gambling. Four lucky gods each choose a prisoner. That prisoner is to be the last prisoner standing. If they succeed, they go free. As such, prisoners that are too likely to ruin the universe if freed are generally not picked. However, there have been exceptions, winners who've left scars upon history.

Prisoners are afforded a certain degree of freedom within wizard jail. Currency is supplied to each prisoner on a regular basis, for use with the jail's facilities. Food is served daily in the Cafeteria. Various objects can be bought at the nightly Auction.

Every seven hours, the agents of gods, called Angels, sweep through the jail, looking for wrongdoing. Though individually flavored to each god, they share the traits of being masked, winged, and powerful. They come in three varieties: Beloveds (general guards), Sweethearts (overseers), and Darlings (shock troopers).

Wrongdoing is met with various punishments, such as lashing, solitary confinement, or death. While this sounds like it has the potential for an orderly society, the residents of Wizard Jail are unfortunately too colorful to allow it. Various factions exist, for reasons such as pride, alignment, or racism, that are tacitly or explicitly at war over money, objects at the auction, or no good reason.

Rough map:
[Image: DjvU3z5.png]

Wizards can perform tasks written in the labor section for menial monetary returns. Those who cannot make money generally go hungry, unless under the protection of a gang.

The gym offers means to enhance physical and other abilities.

Submarkets are the sales areas, generally run by prisoners.

Gangs are common, but there are primarily three major ones.

Vanth: The largest organization. Many factions within it. No undead are allowed, for reasons kept to the upper echelons. Possible racism? The leader, Vanth, is a muscular Unicorn with a shattered horn. In it's place, an eerie sword.

Blang: This gang primarily deals with money. Generally, they monopolize efficient jobs in the labor camp, and try to obtain the best items at the market. The gang is structured like a company. The leader is unknown. Executive decisions are made by a closed room council.

Butterfly: Generally deviants and deviant associates. The smallest major gang, but host to many dangerous characters. One of their major activities is getting paid to cause prisoners to break rules, so that they are sent to the punishment rooms, where members of the gang will watch. Extremely loose structure. The head rotates every month within the highest levels of the gang.


Generally same as Grand Battle rules- however, there is no world changing.

Submission Example

God: Nautalia, Goddess of Crustaceans
Character: Crab King
Description: Crab King is the king of crabs. he uses magic powers of self-strengthing and gigantic growth to crush his enemies in his mega claw. Thrown in jail for declaring hermit crabs pretenders and driving them to extinction. Has a pistol.
Personality: Cruel, petty, straightforward.
Important Traits: His crown boosts his magic. Is actually a female crab.

(Because of the 4 seconds of thought I put into Crab King, Crab King is also in the jail. Do with it as you wish.)

Players will be eliminated periodically based on writing skill, importance to the 'story,' personal opinions and fun factor.

To facilitate a fairly speedy game, there will be a few small, vague requirements: You cannot wall of text extremely hard. You can direct other player's characters, but not to a great extent without the other author's permission.

Finally, authors should leave notes at the end of their posts, to explain their character's potential intentions moving forward, so that other writers better understand how to use them.

Quote:1. Crab King intends to directly find the smallest enemy wizard, and crush it.
2. It does not want to locate said wizard in such a showy way that he attracts the attention of dangerous elements.
3. Is hungry, so maybe that's a priority.

1) Reserved to DF
2) maybe reserved to Pharmacy
3) reserved to helltires
4) sailor
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
God: Tiamat, Goddess of Monsters and Chaos

Character: Vocifer Vox

Color: #910228

Description: Some multiclassed/templated abomination of Dragon-themed gish - magicing, smashing, et cetera. Scaly, winged, and buff, but is otherwise a - gasp - human. Got into Wizard Jail because he tried to punch Gods and then more Gods, but wasn't very successful so here he is.

Personality: Arrogant. Fatalistic. Respects only strength and competence.

Important Traits: Has a big axe. Refers to himself in third person. Will talk about how amazing dragons are if given a chance.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
God: Prometheus, God of Technology (proof)
Character: The Intelligence
Description: A being, looking human, yet with off colors. got into wizard jail for stealing valuables by hacking security systems.
Personality: Strategist, Smart, Trusting
Important Traits: It is able to hack into any electric machinery. if your a robot, don't get on his bad side.

1. Try not to trust it with your life.
oh hey
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)

Snarl, the Lord of Chaos and Instability
Character: Nyctitus

Description: Nyctitus is a kraken. He knows chaos and destruction magic and was thrown in jail for wrecking a bunch of ships and being a bitch in general. He wants revenge. He scoots around on his tentacles. He knows how to generate temporary gold pieces from nothing.

Personality: Vindictive, stuck-up, seen some shit and done some shit, oddly pious and super aggressive

Important traits: Has a big glass water-filled contraption around his middle that lets him breathe air. He's a big fucking dude.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Hey that's a reserve list and a half, gonna try something anyway.

God: Poughjack, God of the Harvest
Character: Crop Liberator and Extractor Two, Ultimate System. (C.L.E.T.U.S)
Description: A robotic man, they're lanky and otherwise unimpressive. They wear a straw hat, denim overalls and a nice red plaid shirt under those. Big stompy boots, good for hard workin'. They don't know many things, definitely couldn't find the square root of 144 but would be more than happy to talk your ear off about Cycads.
Personality: They really care about plants, but have a personal distaste for corn. They still respect it though, every plant deserves respect. Fairly bummed about this whole situation, not their fault they're cursed.
Important Traits: Everything they touch turns into plant matter. This is why they are in wizard jail. You could say they have a green thumb.
[Image: 933hfLL.png][Image: aCQpT7Z.png][Image: iRoHjKM.png]
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
God: The Jail itself

Character: James Walker

Description: James looks like he's never spent a day outside of a prison cell; he's a scrawny man with filthy clothes. Various vermin flock to him, and he never seems to mind. Once a day, he seems to be talking to no one at all.
His record consists entirely of minor crimes, but somehow he amassed so many of them that he was sent here. He claims it was the Jail calling out for him.

Personality: James insists that some within the prison are Innocent, and some are Guilty, and it is the will of the Jail that the Innocent be freed and the Guilty be punished. He can go on at length about this, if you let him.

Important Traits: Jail Druid. Very passionate about what he perceives as injustice.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Alright, that's good.

Sinking Sailor, seems you've submitted the same character for other stuff too. Plus, it's a bit too cliche. Resubmit in around a day, otherwise I'll give it to Bigro.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
betterized it
oh hey
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Good enough. Catch you your you'res.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Forgot to tell you to pick a color. Do that when you post, thanks.

Four prisoners wake up to realize a collar is wrapped around their neck, or neck like area. Attempts to remove it all fail.

Fiddling with it, a message plays from the collar, in a way the prisoner understands.

"Greetings! You have been chosen to participate in the CYCLE OF MAGIC! Be the last survivor,
and you will go free, no strings attached! The players are..."

"Nyctitus! Kraken of chaos and destruction, who somehow took normal Kraken behavior too far!"

"The Intelligence! Ruiner of technological progress! Set a world's technological advances back several years due to greed!"

"Vocifer Vox! Attempter of Deicide! Dragon fetishist! There is a gang just waiting for him!"

"James Walker! Druid of the Jail itself? One way or another, we'd like to be rid of him!"

"Outlive the rest and you win! Don't forget to enjoy yourselves! Remember, fun is paramount!"

The recording speeds up and gets quieter, mentioning smaller details like 'the rules of the jail have not changed for you' and 'due to an overly long game last time, if the game does not end in 100 days the game is cancelled and there is no winner,' and 'The god of chance is not responsible for any losses that may be incurred through this event.'

The collar goes silent for each of the Prisoners, and a new Cycle begins.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"What is this childish bloodsports nonsense? And what is a 'fetishist?'" The dragon-man barked to no one in particular. "Never mind these slanderous words. I, Vocifer Vox will guarantee his victory and TRIUMPH OVER THE FALSE GODS ONCE AGAIN!"

Vocifer then screams into the skies as he wont to do, eliciting a few annoyed stares from his prisonmates and proceeds to tromp off to god-knows-where. Well, actually, we do know.

This is what this dragon-man is going to do:

1) Go to Vanth because it is the biggest and the strongest so clearly the bestest, and submit his resume to get a jorb.

2) Because he is Vocifer Vox he is going to do it in a way that is incredibly loud and gaudy.

3) He's getting a falafel wrap along the way. Even the would-be conqueror of heavens need a little TLC.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"I have been selected? Wonderful. Maybe I can finally get out of here and make use of my riches." The Intelligence had made its way to the cafeteria to plan out what it was going to do. "I hope the dragon man doesn't make an encounter with me. He will be... annoying. To say the least." The unusual being decided to stick around where the prisoners get the food. "If he does come by, and he's looking for a fight, I can atleast somewhat fight against him. I will grab food though. I'm still sort of human after all." plans are to

1. Look out for Vocifer. Make sure he's not in a mood to fight.
2. Grab some grub.
oh hey
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"Fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Nyctitus screamed. "Son of a bitch motherfucker fuck fuck fuck! Bitch! Goddamn!"

"Okay, okay. I'm cool, " he said. "I'm cool I'm cool. OK. Just gotta kill some.... humans."

He was in the cafeteria, eating a dolphin. It had cheese on it.

"Sweet Lord Snarl grant me the strength to smash a bitch down," he prayed, sucking the meat from the dolphin's skull.

Nyctitus' priorities are:

1. Serve the Lord of Chaos by creating chaos, in general
2. Eat everyone else
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Meanwhile, Vocifer Vox marches into the cafeteria. Food of every variety and quality could be served here. Unfortunately, his heart’s desire had a line the length of the room. The dragon-man guesstimated it would take him at least hour till his turn comes. He understood. Falafel was a delicious treat.

Vocifer marches to the line and placed his shoulder on the man in front of him. The man turned around. Some sort of planetouched, his knowledge told him.

“Hey buddy, it’s not your – ”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Vocifer’s fist made a satisfying thok sound as it made impact with the man’s face. Vocifer stepped over the man’s body and proceeded to do the same with the next person, and the next person, et cetera. Vocifer guesstimated it would take at least five minutes before his turn comes, which was good. Because he wanted that falafel. Bad.


1) Vocifer Vox is getting his falafel by punching away the line.

2) It is very obnoxious and loud.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
James Walker had never been a free man.

From the day he was born, the Jail had placed its mark on him. He had been guided to it, and now it was his home as much as it was his prison.

Death? Just another prison. Leaving these walls? His soul would remain here forever, even if his body left.

The outcome would make no difference to him. What mattered was what the Jail desired.

And the Jail told him that the others in this meaningless contest were Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

So be it. They would perish.

A rat climbed through a hole in his cell. It squeaked to him that the others were all in the cafeteria.

That boded ill. The Jail could only grant him so much strength. If the others turned against him at once, they might escape their verdicts.

Better to split them off, face them one at a time.

Still. If all were in one place, that was the place to start. Lead one away, and then bring down the Jail's judgement.

1. James is heading to the cafeteria.
2. He will try to lead whoever he can away, to fight them alone.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Vocifer's plan goes well, up until roughly the fourteenth person in line- a stone skinned, square-ish being, nearly as wide as it was tall, probably a golem of some sort. It began as usual- hand on the shoulder, and a fist in the face as the prisoner turned. However, this prisoner simply took the blow, reeled slightly, and placed it's hand on Vocifer's shoulder, other hand curled in a fist.

If one were observant, one would see that the golem, and the prisoners in front of it, seemed to all be wearing the same colors- red streaked with yellow stars. One would also notice Vanth, unicorn and titular head of the Vanth Gang, at a large table, far from any surrounding tables, surrounded by similarly clothed prisoners, levitating an apple in front of himself.

Vanth is a sharp eyed, condescending, and if one were not in earshot of him, they might, very quietly, refer to him as 'bitchy.' You did not hear it from me, though. Despite these flaws, he is head of the largest prison gang, which speaks volumes of his organizational and management abilities. Very likely not someone you'd like to anger!

It is currently 12:10PM. Angels begin their scheduled 7 hour sweep at 4PM.

(forgot to mention, I'll be periodically dropping events here and there. Feel free to do what you want with the characters I create.)
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Nyctitus watched Vocifer punch his way through the falafel line from the back of the cafeteria, his beak and tentacles carefully removing every last scrap of meat from the dolphin carcass. In an ideal world, Nyctitus would have been slightly better hidden, but he was thirty feet tall from the base of his tentacles to the tip of his mantle, and he took up two tables.

Vocifer was on the brink of getting himself into a prison brawl with Vanth lackeys. That was suitably chaotic, and Nyctitus approved, but Vanth himself was seated not far from where the kraken was cracking bones for marrow. That could be trouble. Nyctitus had seen the unicorn take down opponents even bigger than himself (he recalled the bloody mess that had been made of the brief-lived cloud giant cabal) and he wasn't willing to risk getting killed by a jumped-up horse.

Knowing Vanth, though, he'd be impressed by the dragonfucker. Which meant that Nyctitus would have to fall in with one of the gangs- which meant Blang. Nyctitus had done of lot of things in his 120 years, but he didn't consider himself a pervert. Not too much of one, anyway.

Still. Might as well try to curry favor with Snarl while he watched things play out. With a whispered phrase in his native language of scx'icty'lnthic, Nyctitus cast Animate Objects on the five tables closest to Vocifer.


1. Nyctitus is planning to join up with Blang when he can
2. He's playing it cool for now, waiting for an opportunity to fuck someone up, but he's scared of Vanth
3. The tables are going to attack everyone in the area
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"Ah, an impasse." The philosopher kings - Vocifer included - had a penchant for self-narration. "Vocifer Vox demands the name of his worthy opponent."

"Larry." The golem intoned. "I'm gonna crush you."

"LARRY, so it shall be! A strong name but not strong as I, Vocifer Vox, who shall triumph in this petty battle most certainly and TRIUMPH OVER THE FALSE GODS ONCE AGAAAaaagh"

Vocifer soon found himself mobbed by five tables. His opponent tried to cave in his skull while he was distracted but got a table in his face for all his troubles. Now his clearly more advantageous opponent is busy, the dragon-man had the perfect opportunity to escape. But...Vocifer remembered he forgot something...important.

SHIT. FALAFEL. If he didn't got that rare treat anytime soon, it'll be next month before he had the opportunity to do so. With more desperation than he characteristically had, Vocifer scrambled up the golem and proceeded to rush to the front of the line, using the heads of panicking mob as stepping stones to get to his delicious, artery-clogging goal.


1) Vocifer is really gunning for that falafel.

2) I have no other words.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
A fight had broken out in the cafeteria. Chaos reigned.

It was the perfect opportunity.

Vocifer was caught in the middle of the mess, and the kraken seemed to be watching on in interest. The Intelligence, then, was likely the best target for the moment.

James skulked around the edges of the cafeteria, making comments just loud enough for other prisoners to hear.

"I'm not messing with Vanth's gang."

"The hell is with those tables? Freakin' me out, I'm outta here."

"This has nothing to do with me. I'm holing up in my cell till this whole mess blows over."

With each whisper, a few prisoners followed James' apparent lead. They weren't paying enough attention to notice that the unassuming man trying to slip out was actually staying in.

In time, he drew near the Intelligence, and started whispering again. The crowd around him started to thin out.

He waited to see if the Intelligence would follow suit.

1. James is near the Intelligence.
2. He hopes the Intelligence will follow the cues set by the other prisoners and leave.
3. If so, James plans to chase him down.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"James Walker. the man of a thousand crimes. And a thousand words apparently. I was hoping to grab food, but that despicable dragon man is holding up the line. I would leave, but I'm going to wait. I can hold my own against him if he decides to mess with me." he goes to sit at a table now that they are less crowded. He keeps an eye on James, as he noticed James is able to control people with whispers. luckily The Intelligence has a strong mind. Years of attempted mind control on him has made his mind resistant to it. He hopes to be able to get Vocifer against James. James wouldn't survive. Atleast, that's what he thinks.


1.Keep an eye on James.
2. That's it I guess.
oh hey
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
To clarify: there's no mind control at work here, James is just nudging people towards doing something they were already inclined to do.

Although I guess we can say the Intelligence spotted him and misinterpreted what he was doing.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Nyctitus chortled at Vocifer's falafel-induced desperation. It is not easy for krakens to chortle, but Nyctitus had been practicing for a long time. It sounded like a wet rag in a garbage disposal full of curdled milk.

"Serves you right," he called out, advancing across the tables in a complicated dance of tentacles. "The Lord Snarl does not allow for weakness, or dragons in general. He thinks they are OP."

Vocifer ignored him. Nyctitus growled. This was not the fight he thought it was going to be.

He scanned the cafeteria with his beach-ball-sized eyes, sizing up the crowd. Vanth was watching the commotion with cool interest; he alone was immune to the panic spreading through the prisoners. Reasonable enough. The Angels would be here soon, and They would not like what They would see. The unicorn gang lord would be long gone by then- but would Vocifer?

Nyctitus decided it was time to leave, but not before making things difficult for everyone else. Hopefully they would be so inconvenienced that they would still be here when the Angels arrived.

The kraken pointed a feeding tentacle at the kitchen, right where the falafel was being patiently handed out. "MAW OF CHAOS," he roared, slipping out of the cafeteria just as the spell started to take effect.


1. Nyc is leaving the caf for safer grounds and, most likely, to find some Blang lackeys.
2. His Maw of Chaos is going to cause a storm of destructive magical energy and confuse everyone in the area if it isn't counteracted.
3. Nyc is hoping that the prison guard Angels will show up soon and fuck everyone else (read: Vocifer) up so that he doesn't have to do it
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
The Intelligence had spotted him.

That was sloppy. It had been too long since he'd concealed himself in the crowds, it seemed. Or perhaps his opponent was just more observant than most.

Whatever the reason, this was not the place to fight. Not yet. James glanced around the room, and spotted the rather conspicuous kraken slipping out through another door.

Excellent. The only problem was that the Intelligence was still watching him... but that wouldn't be a problem for long. No one else could navigate the Jail like James could.

James rushed out suddenly, into the halls. He stepped into the first empty cell he saw, and touched its wall.

Then, he was one with the cell. He could see every other cell in the Jail, and which ones were empty.

As he expected, with so many prisoners in the cafeteria, there was one near the kraken's exit. James slipped through, hoping to catch his quarry by surprise.

1. What James just did is based on the Druid spell "TreeShift", except it's with jail cells. Basically he can teleport from one cell to an empty one elsewhere in the prison.
2. He's going to confront Nyctitus, going for an ambush if possible but he's not afraid to fight head-on if he has to.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
Meanwhile in blissfully unaware circumstances, Vocifer Vox was getting ever so close to his goal. The falafel slowly came to view. The chickpea goodness bobbed seductively, surrounded by a golden halo of cooking oil and deliciousness. The dragon-man was starting to drool.

Before he could shove his fist into the deep fryer and shove the falafel into his dumb mouth, there was a rainbow blast of energy and headaches. Vocifer Vox soon found himself laying spread-eagled on the floor, and oh Tiamat's tits, it’s a carnage. No, not the high body count. The falafel. It was...chaos’d.

“WHO, WHO DID THIS,” the dragon-man roared taking to the skies, flying into an aerial rage. “WHO DARED TO LAY WOE AND RUINATION ON THE FEAST OF VOCIFER VOX.”

Vocifer realized it was piss-poor of him to act like that, but he hadn’t eaten breakfast today, his brain wasn’t getting the required nutrients it needed, and damn it, damn it, Goddess damn it, he wanted that fucking falafel. Why was fate so cruel, to deny him such simple pleasures? He pulled out his axe from erm, somewhere and proceeded to go on a lack-of-falafel-induced rampage.


1) Vocifer is looking for that bastard who did the Maw of Chaos.

2) He’s busting some heads along the way. He’s hungry and angry, hangry.

3) Vocifer isn’t looking too good health-wise but he’s still dangerous.
RE: [Wizard Jail] (mini-battle)
"Hey vox." The Intelligence attempted to get Vocifer's attention. "Ask walker. He probably saw the culprit since he was standing here doing seemingly nothing. He could've persuaded someone to do it." Of course, The Intelligence then started to walk out of the room incase it became too dangerous to be in there. "Have fun you two." The Intelligence said as he waltzed out of the room, intent on going out for some fresh air.

1. Get Vocifer against James.
2. Move to the open areas so the angels suspect that The Intelligence had nothing to do with this, which he hadn't.
3. Go to the open areas. Seeing people beat the crap out of eachother would be refreshing, as if he hadn't went out there to see gang fights before.
oh hey