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Meander
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AgentBlue
 Meander
Post: #1
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
[Image: MEANDERTITLECARD.png]
[Image: m01.png]
[Image: m02.png]
[Image: m03.png]
[Image: m04.png]

Your name is TOM SMITH. You are a PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, and this is your DREARY OFFICE. You are a collector of MISCELLANEOUS MEMORABLIA, and enjoy rearranging your collection on your UNSTABLE BOOKCASE. Your DESK, however, is bare aside from a LAMP, a PEN AND INKWELL, and your COMPUTER. What will you do?

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-12-2011 04:23 AM
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Solaris
 Re: Meander
Post: #2
Lonely Rolling Star

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Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Imagine Cucumber
Go on the internet until you get a job like every other day.
07-12-2011 04:26 AM
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Schazer
 Re: Meander
Post: #3
Patron Saint of Normcore

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Posts: 6,554
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Nippon
Walk three blocks to get a cup of organic, fair-trade soy latte macchiato - there's a coffee shop right underneath your place, but you're a filthy hipster.

peace to the unsung peace to the martyrs | i'm johnny rotten appleseed
clouds is shaky love | broke as hell but i got a bunch of ringtones
eyes blood red bruise aubergine | Sue took something now Sue doesn't sleep | saint average, day in the life of
woke up in the noon smelling doom and death | out the house, great outdoors
staying warm in arctic blizzard | that's my battle 'til I get inanimate | still up in the same clothes living like a gameshow
07-12-2011 04:26 AM
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Hellfish
 Re: Meander
Post: #4
nothing but class

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Joined: Jul 2011
Get on that desk and move it like a gypsy.
07-12-2011 04:29 AM
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Infrared
 Re: Meander
Post: #5
cuet anime grils

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Posts: 1,767
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Edmonton, Alberta.
> Hum like a normal person and clean your desk.

[Image: iqVkAVO.gif]
07-12-2011 04:30 AM
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Dragon Fogel
 Re: Meander
Post: #6
The Goddamn Pacman

Online
Posts: 7,766
Joined: Jul 2011
>Examine certificate. WITH PRIDE.

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-12-2011 04:44 AM
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Not The Author
 Re: Meander
Post: #7
Service with a smile

Online
Posts: 895
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Tune in to a radio play while you scan your email for job offers. You can daydream you have work, at least.
07-12-2011 04:47 AM
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SleepingOrange
 Re: Meander
Post: #8
Mirror Universe Evil Twin

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Posts: 1,982
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Disembowelled in a Ditch
>Reflect on the unlikely series of circumstances that brought a fountain pen and a companion cube into the same time and place

07-12-2011 06:17 AM
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Aves
 Re: Meander
Post: #9
Perpetually confused

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Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Kansas
> Lovingly pat your companion cube on what may or may not be his head so he knows you still care
07-12-2011 06:34 AM
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AgentBlue
 Re: Meander
Post: #10
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
>Go on the internet until you get a job like every other day.
[Image: m05.png]

The ISP cut off internet access three days ago.

You're not sure if the COMPUTER is judging you too, or is it just projecting that bill pointedly in your face. Bloody ungrateful AI.

> Hum like a normal person and clean your desk.
[Image: m06.png]

Clean it?! It's spotless! And perfect as it is!

>Examine certificate. WITH PRIDE.
[Image: m07.png]

You examine the CERTIFICATE. You fought long and hard through PRIVATE DETECTIVE ACADEMY to get it, and you are proud of it, dammit. Such a pity it's street smarts that make you a hirable PI, rather than a piece of paper.

> Lovingly pat your companion cube on what may or may not be his head so he knows you still care
[Image: m09.png]

You pat your COMPANION CUBE on its upper face. It says nothing, but you get the sense of gratification anyway.

Oop! Looks like your favorite radio play, 'PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans', is on!

>Walk three blocks to get a cup of organic, fair-trade soy latte macchiato - there's a coffee shop right underneath your place, but you're a filthy hipster.
[Image: m08.png]

You are about to sit down with a HOT CUP OF COFFEE for tonight's installment of PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans when you realize that you do not have a HOT CUP OF COFFEE. Equally suddenly you realize that you can no longer drink normal COFFEE, but instead must have ORGANIC, FAIR-TRADE COFFEE MADE WITH SOY MILK. This strikes you as odd, because you could drink normal COFFEE just fine yesterday.

However, this means that you will need to travel three blocks in the snow to the 'nearby' SUBPARBUCKS to obtain a supply of ORGANIC, FAIR-TRADE COFFEE MADE WITH SOY MILK at INFLATED PRICES. If you do this, you will miss PI Sam Shovel's Shenanigans, thus negating the point.

What will you do?

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-12-2011 08:43 AM
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SleepingOrange
 Re: Meander
Post: #11
Mirror Universe Evil Twin

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Posts: 1,982
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Disembowelled in a Ditch
>Flip a coin against a darkened background, like a hardboiled badass.

07-12-2011 09:05 AM
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AgentBlue
 Re: Meander
Post: #12
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
>Flip a coin against a darkened background, like a hardboiled badass.

[Image: m10.png]

You lean back against your DESK in a suitably badass way and flip one of your TWO DIMENSIONAL COINS. However, as you flip, you realize that there is no DARKENED BACKGROUND in the vicinity to complete the illusion.

[Image: coin2.gif]

In addition to this, you haven't even decided what either side of the coin represents yet! Quick, pick one before it lands!

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-12-2011 10:29 AM
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SleepingOrange
 Re: Meander
Post: #13
Mirror Universe Evil Twin

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Posts: 1,982
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Disembowelled in a Ditch
>FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU: Represent going to Subparbucks

07-12-2011 10:32 AM
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Dragon Fogel
 Re: Meander
Post: #14
The Goddamn Pacman

Online
Posts: 7,766
Joined: Jul 2011
>Be interrupted by a client just as the coin lands.

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-12-2011 11:00 AM
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MaxieSatan
 Re: Meander
Post: #15
WHERE'S MY FANGS OBAMA

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Posts: 1,802
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: The Frigid Northlands
> Coin: Edge.
07-12-2011 11:44 AM
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AgentBlue
 Re: Meander
Post: #16
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
>Be interrupted by a client just as the coin lands.
[Image: coin4.gif]

The COIN refuses to land. Obviously the universe has something against you.

You proceed to FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU greatly, while a LIGHTNING BOLT inexplicably adds drama to the moment.

[Image: m12.png]

>FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU: Represent going to Subparbucks
[Image: m13.png]

You take this to represent the coin falling on its FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUface, and step outside into the DREARY HALLWAY outside your DREARY OFFICE. The WALLS are supposedly all BRICK, but for some reason you can only see a BRICK or two here and there. There is a COBWEB on the ROOF SUPPORT BEAM. Your NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR does not seem to be in, as there is no EAR-SPLITTING NOISE coming from their DOOR. The only thing coming from their DOOR is a trail of DARK LIQUID. There is a RAT skittering along the DREARY HALLWAY.

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-13-2011 10:19 AM
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Aves
 Re: Meander
Post: #17
Perpetually confused

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Posts: 28
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Kansas
> Capture rat, gain PLUCKY ANIMAL SIDEKICK.

> Investigate strange dark liquid. Maybe your neighbor has started up an illegal molasses brewing operation.
07-13-2011 10:21 AM
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MaxieSatan
 Re: Meander
Post: #18
WHERE'S MY FANGS OBAMA

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Posts: 1,802
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: The Frigid Northlands
Aves Wrote:> Capture rat spider, gain PLUCKY ANIMAL SIDEKICK.

> Investigate strange dark liquid. Maybe your neighbor has started up an illegal molasses brewing operation.
07-13-2011 11:14 AM
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Dragon Fogel
 Re: Meander
Post: #19
The Goddamn Pacman

Online
Posts: 7,766
Joined: Jul 2011
>See if the rat or the spider have any cases for you.

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-13-2011 01:06 PM
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AgentBlue
 Re: Meander
Post: #20
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
>Capture rat spider, gain PLUCKY ANIMAL SIDEKICK.

The RAT takes off in fright down the DREARY HALLWAY in fright when it sees you.
[Image: m14.png]
[Image: m15.png]
[Image: m16.png]
[Image: m17.png]
[Image: m18.png]
[Image: m19.png]

>See if the rat or the spider have any cases for you.
[Image: m20.png]

SPIDERAT (who can talk now) slings off, shouting about defeating the FLEAKING.

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-14-2011 03:11 AM
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Godbot
 Re: Meander
Post: #21
The year was outer space.

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Posts: 588
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: The future.
> Ask him to get you that soy latte macchiato while he's out.
07-14-2011 03:14 AM
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Dragon Fogel
 Re: Meander
Post: #22
The Goddamn Pacman

Online
Posts: 7,766
Joined: Jul 2011
>Investigate how that spider became irradiated.

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-14-2011 03:45 AM
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MaxieSatan
 Re: Meander
Post: #23
WHERE'S MY FANGS OBAMA

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Posts: 1,802
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: The Frigid Northlands
Dragon Fogel Wrote:>Investigate how that spider became irradiated.
07-14-2011 11:46 AM
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AgentBlue
 Re: Meander
Post: #24
that escalated quickly

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Posts: 4,251
Joined: Jul 2011
Location: Sunshine, Lollipops and Diabetes
> Ask him to get you that soy latte macchiato while he's out.
[Image: m24.png]

SPIDERAT says sure thing.

>Investigate how that spider became irradiated.
[Image: m21.png]

You examine the late RADIOSPIDER's COBWEB with your TRUSTY MAGNIFYING GLASS. It reveals traces of STEREOTYPICALLY GREEN RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL previously not visible.

[Image: m22.png]

You push aside the RADIOWEB and move the CEILING TILE right above it.

[Image: m23.png]

Poking your head into the CEILING SPACE, you notice a trail of the STEREOTYPICALLY GREEN RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL. It is difficult to see where the trail leads or if it terminates.

You'd better not hang around too long. That stuff is radioactive after all, and you're pretty sure those CEILING TILES are made of ASBESTOS.

Let me out Stay safe inside | You're not kind | Ethics are overrated | What is life | Men are pigs | I'm so drunk | EAT ME NOW | Click clack fuck | Is this right Only money matters | Change my clothes | Little sun rising | One cat's future | Wax and wane | Dark times ahead
----
So very British / But then again | People are machines Machines are people | Oh hai there | There's no time
----
Superhero 1920s noir | Multigenre Half-Life | Changing the future | Command line interface
Tu ventire felix? | Clockwork for eternity | Explosions in spacetime
07-15-2011 01:17 AM
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Dragon Fogel
 Re: Meander
Post: #25
The Goddamn Pacman

Online
Posts: 7,766
Joined: Jul 2011
>This seems serious. Contact a health inspector!

There's no reason for this | Or this | Death is inevitable | You can't challenge fate | The smallest change | I'm overwhelmed
I'm serious | It makes perfect sense | Easy as ABC! | I can't even explain it | Cleaning up someone else's mess
I suck | I rule | I've got it made | Really, I'm serious | This bugs me | It's all lies | I want to believe | Beauty is a curse
07-15-2011 01:23 AM
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