You Wake Up In A Bar

You Wake Up In A Bar
RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Sublimate is good at combat supposedly. If we're going to fight the clown we should ask her for help.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Have Helen be kicked out of the premises.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>No!! NOO!!! Dont kick out Helen! They just don't know how to communicate good, HELEN IS A GOOD CLOWN.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(05-03-2018, 06:59 AM)Myeth Wrote: »HELEN IS A GOOD CLOWN.

demonstrably false.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Helen cannot be a good clown, for it is not a clown. It is a Honkit.
One which can either tone down the wailing or be forcibly removed from the premises.
Given your the most in tune with the Honkit, you could try talking it into not terrorizing the other patrons.

HONK?!Show
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
HONK.Show
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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>Stax is red, stax has radical glasses, he might not be thr absolute dudebro that we want but yo atleast he's the guyman that we need. Greenie, tell Stax to call Helen a GOOD HONKIT, a ray of Sunshine! Heck, the entire sun even. Helen is the whole dang sun and we appreciate you for that Helen.


Now stop being mean to the patrons or I swear to govsh I will crawl through this screen right here and slap some sense into you i didnt raise you to act like this!!
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(05-03-2018, 01:10 AM)Arcanuse Wrote: »Alrighty, time to play What's Helen saying today?
-snip-
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<:D <:D <:D | WELCOME TO CHUCKLEMATE, THE FRIENDLY HONKIT TRANSLATION APP | D:> D:> D:>
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TRANSLATING.

TRANSLATING..

TRANSLATING...

TRANSLATION COMPLETE, WITH ERRORS:


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TRANSCRIPTShow
WE HOPE THIS HELPS! HA. HA. HA.


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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Alright, that's it. You're feeling a fight coming on- Helen's giving Sublimate a fierce, intimidating gaze- and Laren and Stax, at the least, are incredibly unnerved. Vebbin, Nadezhda and Voronezh are doing better, but it's no question: either the Honkit quiets down or leaves, and you aren't going to give it another option.

You grab the Unshaken and begin prepping ingredients. Potent ones.

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Vebbin glances over at what you're doing, amidst the loud honking and blaring of raised voices.

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The Unshaken viciously rumbles and crackles as you shut it tightly. You could feel a reaction coming on-- but when it's closed, it ceases. Seems you stopped it right before a vicious climax, but now your shaker is glowing.

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She's... maybe not wrong. Even with the reaction paused, light is shining through the Unshaken like it's a lighthouse. And you're not sure you can actually make it calm down-- it's like things are completely paused in there.

This is a crucial moment. If Helen doesn't want to play ball, you're going to have to play... bartender.

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...Maybe that'll have some kind of effect! A secret phrase hidden between the honks! It's worth a try.

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The bar shakes violently with an explosion supersceding even the loud noise Helen made-- the one which caused you to loosen your grip on the Unshaken, releasing its payload.

The bolt of energy rips through the honkit, and in a moment, nothing remains but smoke. The lid of the Unshaken, seemingly unbroken, impales itself in the wall of the bar several inches.

After pulling her hands off the side of her head, the first one to speak is Nadezhda.

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Everyone pauses to take a breath.

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After having pulled it free from the wall with a bit of effort, Laren walks over and hands you the lid-- relieved to see the honkit gone, and clearly not relieved to see it done in such a way.

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Sublimate lets out a creaky laugh.

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With that, the mechanical swan is gone again, both slightly shocked and entertained.

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Ah, you've had a thought about this one!

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Another thought rattles in the back of your head-- and you figure it's a good a time as any to bring it up.

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Nadezhda glares at Stax.

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You decide you're going to glare at Stax a little, too. Guy maybe could use some of it, even though you can tell he's... trying to be... better? Kinda?

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A pause. The room cools down a little. Vebbin shifts a bit in his seat, floating around and sipping at his mug, which he seems to be really enjoying, despite the circumstances.

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You think of pressing a bit further just then, but the door barges open-- and in comes a patron! Or... a... group of patrons? One big patron with many heads?

It's a lot of twisted multicolored bodies, necks, and legs, with heads poking out, all facing different directions. Two solemn legs at the bottom move the mass around, and after a few failed movements, they all land on Helen's former seat, squirming and chattering to each other. Finally, they speak to you-- all five heads in half-unison.

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...Cops! Cops? They don't look like cops. Hopefully they're not here because of your recent honkit disposal. Either way, this is an opportunity to try and make their order before they've even ordered. That'd be pretty neat and pretty surprising, or it might fall flat on its face. Your mileage may vary.

There's also orders from Laren, Nadezhda and Voronezh to fulfill. But at least you no longer have a source of ear-shattering noise in town.

Today's been alright so far.

...You just get this nagging feeling in the back of your neck that you're not done with Helen.

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Cup status: 2 occupied (Time Flier Frame, Time Flier Frame), 1 dirty (Ashen Corrugible), 1 broken, 6 free
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 occupied (Vebbin's MAM), 1 free
Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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Despite the fact that it wasn't ingested, your most recent created weapon-drink has a variety of ingredients added to the Cabinet:

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Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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>BE NICE TO THE COPS BE NICE TO THE COPS TELL STAX TO ZIP BE NICE TO TH
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Fulfill those orders, focusing on the pair's
[LIVE] - AliCat2020's modded dlc playthrough, like and subscribe if you enjoyed

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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Oh. Cops. Just what we needed.
...Best not mention the honkit removal.
Or several of the ingredients used for that.
cough So, just uh. back to work on the duo's drinks. Yes.
Honk??Show
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Cops! COPS! You're not sure that you're ready to handle cops right now! You immediately start trying to keep the peace-- hopefully they don't notice the blast mark where Helen once was. Time to cool down Stax, keep Laren and Vebbin calm, and then think about making Nadezhda and Voronezh's drinks.

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Oh.

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The psychic angle isn't terrific. That'd mean... wow. You prepare to be arrested?!

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Still a bit unnerving, but with the knowledge that you're not imminently about to be punished for your Helen battle, you decide to start working on Nadezhda and Voronezh's drinks. Both at once! It strikes you that Nad could probably use a bit more attention, so you put a bit more effort into her order-- but it's a fun process either way.

Vebbin's still enjoying his cup, and seems to be a little over halfway finished over it, spending his time just sipping ambiently and commenting now and then. It seems to have really done its job at calming him down.

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That's three people in a row whose name starts with a V and then a vowel. Wacky.

Meanwhile, the drinks begin to take shape! You can't find any Imperial Jelly for Voronezh's drink, but decide the generic object should have a fun texture as a replacement if you can melt it first. You utilize the Unshaken to separate, combine, and have fun with it!

After taking a small stab at yourself to retrieve mothgrant blood for his drink, you notice you've... got a bit more than you intended. You decide it could be a good additive for Nadezhda's, and throw it in instead of the beer-- they're both alcoholic, after all. How could this possibly go wrong?

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The tone of the room shifts a bit. Nad seems to have snapped-- you suspect there's more tension building up in their heads than out loud.

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Both drinks are really taking shape, but they fully form as you drop an object into each. As you drop the ultra-thin antipodal shard into Nadezhda's brew, it shifts color instantly, and seems to be sucking in light. The layers separate and shift oddly, and the light from the generic object is refracted brilliantly, like it's infinitely more complicated than before. The serving of your blood rises to the top, becoming a brilliant color when seen through the glass, and seems to fit perfectly with the rest of the aesthetic.

The matterhorn chunk you drop into Voronezh's order behaves just as oddly. The materials form more distinct layers, thick and tough bubbles, and the liquefied generic object dissolves until it's nigh-invisible and incredibly, incredibly boring.

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It's true! You love jazz! Or, at least... a big... part of you does? It's weird being a collective.

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You're fairly certain that you just found something bartenders have always cherished finding, since the dawn of time: a drink's quintessential ingredient.

You're not sure Voronezh's drink went so well.

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...Hold on, but... that definitely seemed like a drink that required a matterhorn chunk. You were sure of it! Maybe multitasking isn't the easiest thing.

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The lizards have been chattering amongst themselves-- idle chat, really, but you can tell it's a bit of a large argument, trying to figure out what they'd like. VOOL raises their voice noticeably, perhaps wanting some input.

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Just then, however, Nadezhda freezes up. One sip, and it's like her breath has been taken away. Her vision focuses, and she looks your way intently. It's halfway between an expression of complete shock and complete inspiration. She speaks slowly, setting the cup down more carefully than she'd taken it up.

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Voronezh shouts over her shoulder. He, too, has taken a gulp of his drink-- and seems incredibly upset.

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The red-chitin bug seems truly hurt, like something deep within him is pained. It's almost a perfect inverse to the bliss Nadezhda seems to have felt, but now the both of them are sharing in the frustration.

You didn't intend for this... at all.

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Nadezhda slumps a little in the stool, her gaze meandering between you and her drink. The disappointment and frustration is clear in her expression and in her voice.

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To this, both of them prod at the amplifiers on their foreheads absently.

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She takes the cup in her claws, and clasps one of her back-origin arms over it, to prevent any spillage.

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She really seems to want this. You're guessing there's at least some point she'll be able to enjoy it without sharing it with Voronezh... but you're also having cup troubles as is, even with the addition.

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And that's another order. You think you'll need... several cups to feed all these necks, or some kind of large trough... and you've still got Laren's meal to make before the components start to get completely cold.

Nadezhda seems ready to leave, but her gaze is locked with you-- sympathetic, apologetic, in turmoil. Voronezh is already stood up.

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Cup status: 2 occupied (Nadezhda's Antimatter Ale, discarded Matterhorn Mash), 1 dirty (Ashen Corrugible), 1 broken, 6 free
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 occupied (Vebbin's MAM), 1 free
Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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Learn all about the miracle materials, antipodal shards and matterhorn chunks, as well as some others, in the Cabinet, Greene's one-stop-shop for bartending knowledge:

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Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
SHOTS!!!!!!!

okay so we don't have five cups for shots. so what we need is five distinct layers of non-mixing liquids and then five straws cut down with scissors to different heights. from top to bottom:

layer 1: ethanol
layer 2: tequila
layer 3: hot sauce with soap for surface tension
layer 4: a tequila sunrise, which is a whole separate 3-layer ordeal
layer 5: chloroform

tell them that each drink is custom-made for a specific head but don't tell them what corresponds to who. remind the cops that it's the law that they have to tell you if they're a cop

tell naz that they can keep the drink and the cup IF they bring you at least 3 more cups
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Fascinating. These new ingredients should be fun to work with.
Should be able to make something nice for Voronezh next time with a bit of copier/eraser use.

Work on Laren's meal, think about what to serve the new guests.
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...Maybe hold off on the chloroform. That probably should be on the ask-first list.
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(05-16-2018, 12:27 AM)Arcanuse Wrote: »...Maybe hold off on the chloroform. That probably should be on the ask-first list.

we can substitute with antifreeze or used motor oil. i'm thinking antifreeze, i hear it's actually quite sweet to the taste

queue up "fuck the police"

EDIT: also hey! we never finished laren's salad in all the commotion. how's that coming
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(05-16-2018, 12:17 AM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »SHOTS!!!!!!!

okay so we don't have five cups for shots. so what we need is five distinct layers of non-mixing liquids and then five straws cut down with scissors to different heights. from top to bottom:

layer 1: ethanol
layer 2: tequila
layer 3: hot sauce with soap for surface tension
layer 4: a tequila sunrise, which is a whole separate 3-layer ordeal
layer 5: chloroform

tell them that each drink is custom-made for a specific head but don't tell them what corresponds to who. remind the cops that it's the law that they have to tell you if they're a cop

tell naz that they can keep the drink and the cup IF they bring you at least 3 more cups

This is an incredible idea and I don't have any direct things to change about it, but I would like to remind you that antipodal shards and matterhorn chunks can be used to alter the viscosity/density of fluids.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(05-16-2018, 12:38 AM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »EDIT: also hey! we never finished laren's salad in all the commotion. how's that coming

Currently 1/3rd made, in the form of some beaten eggs ready to be made into an omelette, as well as sauteed cherries and a cucumber. Stax did a good job starting it, but it's going to take a couple more turns of effort.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Let Nad take the cup, remind her to bring it back later!

>I dunno, dont think alcohol and fire-breathing dragons should mix. I second chwoka's order but instead replace all alcohol with some good ol' carborane superacid!
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
We could ask nad if she'd mind having the drink poured into a hat to take with her.
We could also try to remove the generic object from the mash with the unshaken, the drink should become palletteable if we do. The object is very bland and the big complaint with the drink is the blandness, it's not like we need to see which individual components are good or bad to improve it.

These five will probably drink more than one person. So maybe we could use a bigger container than a cup. Maybe we could ask stax to hollow out a water melon so we can use it as an extra large glass? That way we can also work on laren's meal this turn.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Again: no time passes. There is no grand break in-between this moment and the last. The sensation you just felt: I promise it's only ghosts. A humble civilian this side of the universe just wanted some assistance, and is thankful you provided it. All you know is that you've got a bar to run, and some dragons to fulfill.

All in all, you've got a lot of patrons now-- Neck Squad 1012 is just one of them, but Nadezhda, Voronezh, Stax, Vebbin and Laren are all quite in need of some attention, one way or another.

First off, music. Music is important.

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Next, fixing your attempt at Voronezh's drink. The Unshaken is going to come in some serious handy with this one.

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You scoop up his drink into the majestic, rune-encrusted shaker, and begin doing just that-- with some complicated maneuvers on the keypad that just make sense to you, suddenly the Matterhorn Mash has become the much lighter, more airy Matterless Mash.

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Things. Things! Things, you've got to find things. Something to hold this big ol' drink you're going to concoct. After a moment's consideration, your eyes land on a peculiarly-colored melon fruit. A brief read of the instructions seem to indicate you have to... press something on it, to make it morph?

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You decide to push up a cup onto the melon to maybe get a melon cup? As you do, the fruit begins rapidly transforming-- but the glass cup has disappeared entirely!

In a few short moments, you suddenly have a container perfectly suitable... at a cost.

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Well, the truth couldn't hurt that bad.

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Well... that isn't quite right. As you recall from reading Starnet, you're the bartender she's fated to find. But you're not sure now is the very best time to tell her. It's so strange having so much dialogue pour out before you can react to it all, truly!

Regardless, the drink is taking form much quicker than you could've expected, and as you plop straws into the respective layers, you feel extremely satisfied with your work.

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Fixer gives it one look, rather puzzled.

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The heads inspect your concoction carefully, trying to determine who gets what.

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Despite the brief hiccup with layer allocation, the dragons seem to be readily enjoying the massive drink, swirling around it with contentment! Ziczhz, especially, is humming and huffing at every sip of that hottest sauce.

As if intentional, Vebbin finishes his mug just as the neck squad gets theirs, and blows some air through his eyes in satisfaction.

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...Ugh. This is really actually getting to you now. You really should tell her, so you give it a go.

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However, you're interrupted! It seems that while Nadezhda was speaking, another patron had entered the bar-- limping a bit on their cane, with a head full of sloshing, reddish liquid.

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Klaxon takes a seat, gasping a bit under triv breath.

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It's relatively true. You don't have a lot of openings to talk, sometimes, with the bar so full. Maybe it'll be easier and slower when there are fewer patrons, but you haven't known that life for a while yet.

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An order! An order! An order!

Back in the groove again, it's Greene's time to shine.

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Cup status: 2 occupied (Nadezhda's Antimatter Ale, Voronezh's Matterless Mash), 1 dirty (Ashen Corrugible), 1 broken, 5 free
Meloncup status: 1 occupied (Hydra Hydration)
Plate status: 1 occupied (Laren's WIP [1/3] ), 1 dirty (The Sate Catsberry), 2 free
Mug status: 1 dirty (Mulled Again Mulligan), 1 free
Scavenger ability: Unavailable (0/1 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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You've successfully avoided patrons leaving your bar, and you've successfully filled The Cabinet with not only a half-dozen ingredients, but an entry on that polycorp melon!

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Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
ziczhz likes the music, and i like ziczhz, because he likes the music, so let's keep it coming

[YouTube]J6OhMR9cvlY[/youtube]

as for the drink, our mandate is nostalgia. that means we gotta use up our last unity apple. also we must pay tribute to the movie nostalghia by placing a lit candle dead-center in the drink. i think an appropriate drink base for reminiscing is bourbon and Eau De Dreams
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
characters:

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