You Wake Up In A Bar

You Wake Up In A Bar
RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Woah, hello there mr no pants fancy seein' you here!!
>would u like a blueberry
(imo i think we should stick with they, or Greene like a few o' the posters above me already said)
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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>Make something simple for NAME, like a sandwich.
>when finished with that, make Stax something of quality.
>maybe flirt with stax. Maybe.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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The radio ticks to a new song. The tension of the bar seems to have had a serendipitous influence on the tone of the proceeding track, and it isn't helping the patrons' mood much. Still, some part of you appreciates the match.

NAME isn't making you feel great about things. You decide to try and nab an easy out of this situation-- perhaps going against your original mission statement, for your own safety.

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Sweet leans forth, incredulous.

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NAME, the thin figure once clothed in only socks and shoes, has taken off their shoes. They are now wearing only socks. Technically, this means they have fulfilled your original guideline of not wearing just socks and shoes. Damn, that's smooth.

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You start work on a meal for NAME! You begin heating up the stove in case it ends up being part of your plan, but a big question is what sort of meat you're going to use. As you glance around, you notice a few potential items:

- Some sort of prize bauble, vaguely fleshy, with a neon-orange button on top
- A starkly red box that says "GOAT CUBE", with a small subtitle of "JUST ADD WATER"
- Dismembered animal leg? This might be a lamb, but you're not sure

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NAME lowers their head, facing towards you, with face contorting into an expression that can only be described as mildly offended confusion.

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Your Egg Coordinator finishes washing another cup, before perking his head up-- very excited by this new hint of news about you.

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Laren lets out a shaky breath.

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After stiffening and sitting still for the entirety of this exchange, Tangy finally hits his last straw-- and slams two arms down on the table with an immaculate 'thud', leaving behind a handful of coins as he nearly growls out some words. He doesn't seem upset at you, but he's clearly not happy with the situation here, nor the offer that NAME just made you.

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He begins dragging his large aunt back, attempting to get out of the bar by any means necessary, staring at you and averting his gaze from NAME, who- clearly amused by this situation- glares back without eyes.

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Laren gives the best wave she can manage, and O'Hare gives her just a nod. NAME shifts back to face you, expectant-- awaiting a response. Stax seems to be doing the same.

Tangy and Sweet have left the bar quite satisfied, but in a huff. You gained thirty red glass tokens.

Cup status: 1 occupied (O'Hare's Dynamic Dynamite), 2 dirty (X-Treme Marine, Rooted Bean), 3 free
Plate status: 2 occupied (O'Hare's Y,SY,S, NAME's unfinished meal), 1 dirty (TQoaBT), 1 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
let's cook their shoes and feed them back to them

Reader's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Yeah, I Like NAME's AU Counterpart, but, like, Harvesting Locals is not my jam. If For No Other Reason Than that's potential Customers what're probably unpleased with the concept of being fed things harvested from their own selves.

I Seriously don't want to annoy any customers on this, our first day, but, like, Name is freaking out, like, half the people in the Joint. And Stax likes them which can't be a good thing. Suggest we give them the Goat Cube, with the Proviso that it's "To Go"
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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>Politely decline the offer. Sentients are not, and will not, be on the menu.
>Use the leg of animal meat. It being lamb meat is dubious, but it will do.
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(02-08-2018, 05:10 AM)Arcanuse Wrote: »
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NO BLUEBERRIES NO BLUEBERRIES, CTRL+X

>uh
>think we should be safe and start with the goat cubes. Dump some salt in a boiling pot of water and throw em in. Then take em out, dry em, and sear em in a pan with an egg mixed in. Do we have black pepper? If we do we should sprinkle that in. I dunno if this dish would even taste good cus' im the part of the hivemind that cant cook for shit so

[Look here Mc spooky we dont want no trouble. We also dont want no local harvests. we got ourselves a lil herb plant on the windowsill and thats local enough, string bean. Also its cuter]
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(02-08-2018, 06:41 AM)Myeth Wrote: »>think we should be safe and start with the goat cubes. Dump some salt in a boiling pot of water and throw em in. Then take em out, dry em, and sear em in a pan with an egg mixed in. Do we have black pepper? If we do we should sprinkle that in. I dunno if this dish would even taste good cus' im the part of the hivemind that cant cook for shit so
If the goat cube does what I think it does, putting it in boiling water would be animal cruelty. If so the goat cube would please NAME but be rather off-putting for o'Hare and Laren

You know what I'm fine with being paid with money in this case. Or clothing items, or cool skateboard tricks. Just so long as no locals get harvested.

Hello!Show

You know if we don't use the goat cube now we could keep it in the unshaken with some water in case we want to throw a goat at a rowdy bargoer.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(02-08-2018, 08:38 AM)Fellow Wrote: »If the goat cube does what I think it does, putting it in boiling water would be animal cruelty. If so the goat cube would please NAME but be rather off-putting for o'Hare and Laren

OH NO I DIDNT THINK OF IT IN THIS WAY I DONT WANT A GOAT TO BE BOILED

I thought it was some sorta precubed goat meat or somethin a aa a
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Take Tangy's advice.
>Also go ahead and use those shoes as ingredients. I kind of suspect NAME won't mind.
>Use the dismembered leg, but ask it for permission first, just in case it isn't what it looks like.
>Also start some water boiling. It'll be useful for something, I'm sure.

EDIT: The blueberries are sentient? Then you should go ahead and serve them!
You should serve them some drinks!
Because they are clearly customers!
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(02-08-2018, 05:31 PM)SeaWyrm Wrote: »EDIT: The blueberries are sentient? Then you should go ahead and serve them!
You should serve them some drinks!
Because they are clearly customers!
If you read the blueberries' description in the cabinet, you'll see that they look a lot like a certain type of alien. NAME thought we were offering them a very unlucky alien, rather than the berry.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>While I like NAME I don't think employing them would be a good idea.
+1 for using the lemb leg tho
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Serve drinks to the blueberries anyway, just to be safe
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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You quickly begin formulating a plan. You stop boiling the pot of water, and put the plate back-- you won't need either for this dish, and you've got an idea of how to make everyone happy.

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With haste, you take NAME's shoes, tie them together, and begin trying to work out a way to affix all your ingredients together.

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You set down your creation near the counter as you begin to prep it, and its odd form catches O'Hare's eye.

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The leg- which doesn't respond to conversation- finally accepts being affixed inside of the nooks and crannies of the goat cube, and you tie one shoelace around it to keep the shoes steady.

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Without another word, they head outside with the cube in two hands.

NAME has left the bar without paying, albeit satisfied with their meal.

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Stax seems dejected, and while not actively fuming against you, is noticeably defensive. He stays behind the bar, but glances at the floor, as if trying to come up with a response. He fails to wash a dish this turn.

O'Hare has finished his drink, but is still working on the 'Yeah, Screw You, Stax'.

Lunch is nearing its end. You have a few turns to go until you're in the clear to take a break, and you can already hear something- possibly a vehicle, again?- pull up to the side of the bar.

Cup status: 3 dirty (X-Treme Marine, Rooted Bean, Dynamic Dynamite), 3 free
Plate status: 1 occupied (O'Hare's Y,SY,S), 1 dirty (TQoaBT), 2 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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With this new meal, you've earned bonus entries in The Cabinet.

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ERROR: INPUT FAILED TO MATCH ACCEPTABILITY SIGNATURE (A-244)
CONTACT INPUT AGGREGATOR HANDBOOK FOR HELP


Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
quick, dump a whole carton of cigarettes in your (normal average) martini shaker and set them on fire so we have ashes to serve the hungry customers
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Inform Stax that you, personally, did actually find NAME quite interesting but you do need to worry about how other people feel as well. Personal Feelings must be sacrificed, sometimes, in favour of what's best for the General Customer. And, Insofar as you can tell, the general customer is kind of worried that they'll end up on the menu with NAME around. While that doesn't worry YOU a great deal (You have Alcholic Blood! And You're a Bartender! How serendipitous is THAT?) you're pretty sure most people aren't capable of regrowing parts of themselves.

Also, Wash, Rinse Repeat. Always Repeat.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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Oh dear.
Hopefully the Grochek meat was inert.
Quiet. Good for an unusual opinion. Doesn't talk much.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Yeah, something's off with stax here. Don't know where to poke him for info on what, though.
If stax talks to name later he can pass on that we'd like to hear name's i m p u t on the meal we made him.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>Give Stax a relaxing massage
>Or maybe not, but at least say something nice
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
>comfort stax, NAME's a cool dude.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Don't comfort or massage Stax. He's a self-serving ass, and a little dejection is fair pay for insulting almost every one of your customers.

Before the next customer comes in, see if there's any way you can get some sunlight in here. You're getting tired.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
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It's tough to make a decision.

On one hand, Stax is a patron-- and clearly has some of his own problems to work through. On the other hand, he's absolutely making other people unhappy in the bar. Something has to be done, and you finally decide to try and come to a peaceful resolution.

As you speak, you also grab an entire carton of cigarettes and begin loading them into a non-special cocktail shaker to burn.

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Stax huffs, and his posture grows mildly more relaxed-- but still quite stiff.

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You set the contents of the shaker on fire just in time to reply, and wash a dish while you still have some time-- a cup once again.

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Stax kicks at the floorboards absentmindedly. As the burning cocktail shaker fills the bar with a light smoke, he begins to undo the blinds on the windows and popping them up-- flooding the previously-dim bar with wide beams of sunlight and wafts of fresh air, which he doesn't seem to be enjoying.

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To your surprise, the Energetic pops a small grin. It seems a little less... dishonest than his previously jovial expressions. Perhaps you've struck a chord with his ego, or he's just surprised.

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However, before you can respond, the front doors open to finally reveal the new arrivals-- a large, steam-emitting swan made of plate metal, pipes, and thick plexiglass wings, and what appears to be cat with a robotic body.

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O'Hare shifts around in his stool to face the swan, lowering his brow in immense incredulity.

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The cat steps up to Laren, and begins giving her affectionate rubs on the face, much to their mutual amusement. The cat acts much less like a humanoid cat, and more like a cat who has accidentally grown a humanoid body.

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This is a lot at once, certainly-- and you feel the pressure coming on, with multiple orders finally entering at once, including Stax's ice cream sandwich and massage. (You're still not sure if you're doing those.) O'Hare has finally finished his Yeah, Screw You, Stax, and if not for the recent commotion, seemed to be preparing to go. Laren is preoccupied petting the bajeezus out of Bloomy, for the moment.

Lunch approaches its closer, and the new patrons mark its toughest moments. Making it through this will mean another bartending level.

Lastly, you now have a completely ruined cocktail shaker filled with ash and particulate. Nice.

Cup status: 2 dirty (Rooted Bean, Dynamic Dynamite), 4 free
Plate status: 2 dirty (TQoaBT, Y,SY,S), 2 free
Scavenger ability: Activated (0 uses)
Intrusive ability: Enabled


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ERROR: INPUT FAILED TO MATCH ACCEPTABILITY SIGNATURE (A-244)
CONTACT INPUT AGGREGATOR HANDBOOK FOR HELP


Author's NotesShow
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
(02-14-2018, 05:54 AM)Arcanuse Wrote: »>Contact Input Aggregator Handbook

No need to. Already gone through it many times.

The inputs which contain invalid "portrait" images are being rejected by some automated settings I set. It can damage your host body if you were to shift shape and color at will, so I've blocked that function out. You will likely have another chance to change yourself at some point in time, but I would prefer you didn't.

If you're trying to communicate with the other host body with these faux-inputs, be aware that it probably isn't able to directly read your input stream, just as you can't view its. Most of its kind only find a way to write directly to other hosts' feedback, such as inserting messages or information forcibly into 'posts'. Without knowing the exact location that these inputs are coming from, that's the limit.

I'm glad you're revving up your engines so quickly on this. I feel this method is much better than what was previously used. Just beware of making yourself known to the others. The worst case doesn't mean any catastrophic damage, but it will make your life very hard.

While I'll be occasionally around to answer questions, I also would ask that you try and pay attention to bartending and making people happy. That's what this is all about, not silly things involving me or NAME. I will be by another time for a drink once you have adequately trained on Terrats inhabitants. Try and have fun with it.

You are doing a great job. But now I'm going to stop monitoring.

- Unknown Patron ;)
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
Okay so Crovis language seems to involve slicing the top part of the words off and mirroring it vertically and horizontally. However, the letters do not seem to resemble english. Notably, bloomy doesn't say a word that's long enough to be "casserole".

Well, we have two dishes and one drink to make. I suggest we try to set the casserole and the sandwich up in such a way that stax can handle them for a few turns. Have him open various cans for the casserole, make batter and grill the sandwich parts if we want to make that ourselves.

Another route would be to make three cat food casseroles and just stick some ice cream between two of them.
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RE: You Wake Up In A Bar
a corrugible is horrible and that's all you really need to know. dump the ash on a dirty plate, scrape some blue mold on top, spit on it, pour way too much chocolate sauce and a small amount of tequila, stir vigorously. lay three slices of prepackaged american cheese atop hapahazardly, and put it in the oven on broil to melt it. then scrape it off onto the floor (birds LOVE that) and then float a piece of bread on top of it so it's a topsy-turvy open-face (birds also love bread.)

a cat food casserole is actually not a casserole, but an omelette with cat food folded inside. looks like we have another job for The Egg Coordinator

and speaking of, our special guy deserves a treat. but we don't have time for both an ice cream sandwich AND a massage, so while the corrugible is in the oven, we'll cover our hands with ice cream and give him an ice cream shoulder rub (which will really help with the too-hot-to-handle thing)
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