You Wake Up In A Bar

ah yes, the fruit bundle harmonic. you begin with apple cider, then add vodka and blueberries and bananas and mangos, cut it with milk and sugar and crushed ice, then make it all into a smoothie in the blender. served in a wicker basket, with an appetizer of crack cocaine

edit: oh and for this guy you're probably gonna wanna sub battery acid in for vodka

Perfume served in a bowler hat

Perfume served in a bowler hat

you dummy, that's soup!

Do We Have Some Method to Look Up Recipes? Or, Like, Species? Don't want to accidentally poison a patron. that seems like it would not go over well with our clientele. If So, Look Up This Thing they want made, If Not

Grovel

You're Correct! I Am both Terrible and Inexperienced! You Sir/Madame/Other Must Truly Be a Connoisseur of Bars and those who Tend them! Please Be gentle to me with your undoubtedly expert wisdoms and bear with me as we both embark together on this Learning Journey! As A Super Special, Second ever Customer, One time Offer, if you teach us what goes into this cocktail you have ordered, You can consider that the Payment for that drink!

>Give that mf a fruit salad shaped like a boat, floating in a lil basket of gin. Thats how ya impress the ever imortal energy being that is seperated from the concepts of life and death

Edit:

Spoiler :

np man, hit me up if you need anything!! These only take me 'round 5-10 minutes each so i dont have a prob doin em

>"A fruit bundle harmonic... with vapor salts? Okay, well, if that's what you really want." In your best trying-not-to-be-condescending/the-customer-is-always-right-even-if-they're-a-total-idiot voice.
>Try to figure out what the heck vapor salt is and where it might be kept without letting on that you're clueless.

Do Lordly's suggestion but also Chwoka's at the same time.

You lower your voice a little.








You let out a small sigh, seeing as you're not going to get much help with this drink. It pops into your head to make something similar to a smoothie, and then serve it in a basket-- but unfortunately, all you have for now is a set of drinking glasses. Still, you begin grinding up some fruit and ice, preparing it as the two patrons talk.












You finish up the drink at last, and set it on the counter in front of Stax, who eyes it cautiously.



The markings next to each ingredient denote how much the patron will enjoy both a given ingredient as well as its proportion to the others-- this is known as 'tender sense, and may not work for all patrons.




He begins taking slow drinks.






From the entranceway, another patron appears-- and you realize that the sound of an automobile that you heard pulling up was actually this locomotive shark, drifting along the ground with whirring and groaning, before revving up and hopping onto one of your stools.





edit: Your cup status is currently at two occupied, one dirty, two free.

With your fourth drink down, you've unlocked a whole host of entries on substances in your Cabinet.

Spoiler: Author's Notes

Thanks for ya patience! I've been trying to make this a more relaxing experience to update than my other adventure, and it's been exciting to make these updates without being too stressful. There might be two a day, there might be off-days, but I have a lot of interest in YWUIAB right now and hope to make it as fun as possible!

one glass of artisinally-melted ice, coming right up

edit: and while you're slow-cooking this, wash a cup and make chatter

>Give this shark-tank a nickel!

Give them a lil fishy swimmin in a fishbowl of pure alcohol

dont worry the fish is fine

>Open up a fresh can of CHOWN for the shark. You know, this stuff:



Don't forget to change its ownership first, or you won't be able to open it.

You immediately prep a 'drink'-- though it's a bit unorthodox, and makes you laugh softly as you prepare it. You sprinkle some 'chowm' on top for good measure, spotting that it's apparently suitable for sharks and fish of sharkly nature.

All in all, it only takes a couple dozen seconds.



With that finished, you begin washing the glowing patron's old cup, which still has most of the Unicorn Bile in it-- though you're able to extract the nickel and clean it off without a problem. Finishing this wash will take a full turn, but as you can't see anyone coming into the building for now, this seems well-timed.





Laren leans forth, rubbing her tired eyes.

Terry nods, but his gaze is very intent on the glass of ice, and so he remains quiet.









You recall at the back of your mind that none of your patrons have paid yet. The thought is pushed away by the next thought that they've only been here a little while.

Perfume served in a bowler hat

now it's time for soup

Fried eggs and bacon with soup on the side.

Perfume served in a bowler hat

now it's time for soup

This. But add eggs. Don't fry them, just put them in the soup. And hang a banana off the side, because everyone likes bananas.

Also, check around for something to keep track of everyone's tab. Like a notebook, or a box of index cards, or a bunch of colored yarn with seashells strung on it.

Grab them by the neck, open their sweet tooth containing maw and extract a single solitary pearly white. The contract has been sealed you will say as you pour a whole bag of sugar into their mouth.

(Ugh, Golly, Y'all're uncultured swine. It's a Single Plum, Floating in perfume, Served in a Man's Hat. Also, Don't serve this. Chortles aside, you have a limited supply of ingredients, and no idea how to replenish them. What if someone specifically ASKS for this, hrrm?)

Grab them by the neck, open their sweet tooth containing maw and extract a single solitary pearly white. The contract has been sealed you will say as you pour a whole bag of sugar into their mouth.

(Don't do this, either)

Finish washing the glass, first, Then you can get onto preparing the breakfast. Ask if Laren has any special dietary needs, or anything. Vegetarian, Vegan, Deathly allergic to cheese? You Don't wanna mess this up.

it seems like the limited ingredients are less an incentive to play cautiously and more an incentive to keep making up crazy bullshit, to me

Rub some molasses on a mango and grill it by holding it above the stove. Season with a pinch of salt and two servings of powdered sugar.

You nod enthusiastically to Laren's request. Thanks to the fact that Terry's drink took almost no effort, and almost no time, you're done with the dishwashing quite early on in the turn, and begin work on her breakfast meal. As it's relatively complicated and large, this will take three turns to prepare, including this one.












Terry is still staring adamantly at his cup as the ice slowly, slowly, slowly melts.




Just as you're about to reply, however, you notice the front door swing open without warning-- and two unexpected, insectoid patrons barge into the tavern with some tiredness, and very distinct intergalactic courier garb.




The first approaches you, standing as stiffly as she can muster.




The other, Voronezh, buzzes his mandibles and attempts to clarify further.

It appears that these patrons are hurrying you. As you aren't yet finished with the previous order, attempting to fulfill these requests now will require you to multitask-- rolling an unfavorable die, given your low skill. Stopping work on Laren's breakfast may also ruin the eggs and sweet grilled mango.

This difficult scenario may earn you an upgrade to your bartending level, provided you can find a way to resolve it.

edit: Cup status: 2 free, 3 occupied.

Spoiler: Author's Note

Thank you Myeth SO MUCH for these portraits. Bug pair's insanely well designed and there's so much character in just what they're wearing and carrying, let alone the actual species design. Did a wonderful job and super flattered ya want to do stuff for this adventure.

Speaking of this adventure, I mentioned earlier-- I'm tryna take it a little easier this time! There will be days where I have 0 updates, days with 1, days with 2-- that sort of thing. I know y'all are a wonderful patient bunch, but it's hard not to try and force myself to update as fast as possible (and get massively anxious when I can't for whatever reason).

So that little hiatus was an experiment! Hope ya enjoy this update and all future ones regardless of sporadic scheduling!

Roll The Dice Of Fate and try and get that sweet, Sweet Uplevel. The better we are at tending, the better we can GET at Bartending. And, Thankfully, Preparing coffee and Tea aren't as distracting as mixing a drink would be. The Main Step in the process for making both is boiling water and that shouldn't cause too much hassle, even assuming you're using a non-electrical Kettle. For the Tea-Fan, Prepare some Chamomile tea. I know it's somewhat cliche as a "Relaxing" Tea, but cliches are often cliches for a reason and our friend looks as though they could use some relaxation.

As for the coffee, I have no idea about Any Of That, since I don't drink it, but a quick and frantic Googling suggests the Best Chocolatey Coffees are the ones that taste that way naturally, as opposed to dumping chocolatey Powder Stuff In. But then, What do I know?

Also, remember to ask if they take it with milk, cream, or sugar. The coffee guy. Anyone adding any of those to a herbal tea is a cretin

Spoiler: Reader's Note

It's all good, Fam. I wouldn't even call that lil' break you took a hiatus. sporadic updates are fine with me, and they help prevent Author Burnout (It's really bad for their tyres and can ruin their Drivetrain). This is Free Entertainment On The Internet, so, like, don't worry too much about how often you update. We understand you're a Real Person With A Life Outside Of Entertaining Us so, like, Take it at your own pace and, like, Have Fun

combine the coffee and tea into one drink to save time

>Tell Stax he can pay for his drink if he watches the breakfast while you make these drinks.
>Make the tea by boiling one of the flowers from your fur. Add powdered sugar for flavor.

combine the coffee and tea into one drink to save time

Seconded. Make some herbal, chocolatey tea-coffee.