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#1
TABLE OF CONTENTS

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CHAPTER 1

Doug was having a nice stroll through the park, when something caught his eye.
XXVII CCXIV MLXII MDCCXXII
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#2
It was probably the fish hook that had embedded itself there.
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#3
"Yeouch!" he exclaimed.
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#4
Doug began to formulate a melodramatic tweet about his life, and the fish hook.
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#5
"Dear twitter, as my vision shrinks away and my life fades, I hope only that the fish hook embedded in my eye looks like a real bad ass piercing. #FinalMoments" he typed.
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#6
Then Doug felt a tug on his eye, someone was reeling him in!
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#7
And that someone was none other than... Doug himself!
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#8
Doug Himself, Doug Andrew's fierce adversary and alternate timeclone, wielded the guilty rod with a determined perversion: he desired to take and then take over Doug's life!
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#9
"Uhuhuhuh, once I cannibalise your heart and brain we will become one being! BODY AND SOUL, FATHER AND SON, TOGETHER AT LAST" Doug Himself yelled at the top of his lungs.
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#10
Doug Andrew's face drained of colour as he wildly mashed his phone's touch screen, whipping up another tweet; it was clear Doug Andrew was very detached from the gravity of his situation.
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#11
Doug Himself transformed into a demon, attempting to fuse Doug Andrew’s soul with his own by eating his internal organs!
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#12
Doug Andrew ripped off a mask where the fish hook had caught, revealing his true face.
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#13
He was actually a fish!
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#14
Doug fell over and began flopping around.
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#15
As Doug Himself watched the pathetic flailing of his other self, he couldn't help but wonder whether he really wanted Doug Andrew's life that much.
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#16
So Doug Himself decided to go get some hot dogs instead.
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#17
Without a real human soul to supplement his demonic corpse form, Doug Himself was not feeling himself while ordering the fancy barbecued bacon chunks hot dog he really liked.
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#18
There was no soul to be had in the hot dog, so Doug Himself entered a demonic hyposoul coma.
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#19
"Oh fucking great, another demonbetes sufferer" Groaned the hot dog vendor.
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#20
The Hot-dog vendor begrudgingly gave up his soul, his body fusing with Doug Himself’s.
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#21
"I should get a raise for this."
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#22
As gaining the soul meant inheriting the soul-haver's life, this meant that Doug Himself was now a hot dog vendor.
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#23
Meanwhile, Doug Andrew the fish was still flopping around on the ground nearby.
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#24
"Flippety Floppity" said Doug Andrew. Then the very angry dog approached...
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#25
The dog was angry because a very important business deal had just fallen through, and his company had lost a long term client.

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XXVII CCXIV MLXII MDCCXXII
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