Duct Tape

Duct Tape
#1
Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Your name is Ted Pacut. You are an ordinary human being in every way, except for your ability to create duct tape out of nothing.

You realized years ago that duct tape could solve all of your problems, and since you effectively have an unlimited supply, you have sworn an oath to solve all of your problems with only duct tape. You see no way this could ever have any downsides.

Today, you have woken up to discover that you're out of milk. How will you use duct tape to solve this?
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#2
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by goggleman64.

> Fashion a cow from duck tap
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#3
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by CheeseDeluxe.

Duct tape your stomach. It is the only way.
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#4
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Lord Paradise.

Duct tape the fridge shut, creating an indeterminate state of milk-have
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#5
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Ixcalibur.

Make a cow out of duct tape and then milk it.
fyck phytybyckyt
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#6
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Whimbrel.

You shall dress yourself in duct-tape; use a duct-tape scooter to go to the store, and shoplift some milk with duct-tape on your hands.
~◕ w◕~
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#7
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Godbot.

> Shoplift a supermarket. Leave a decoy milk carton made out of duct tape.

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
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#8
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by goggleman64.

> Create a lasso of duct tape; snag a milkman's van
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#9
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Tasr.

>Become a superhero, this is the only way to rectify the milk situation.
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#10
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Sanzh.

Make a duct-tape sticky hand and yoink your neighbor's milk.
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#11
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Bamoehn.

>Summon black and white duct tape and watch as all cows within a hundred mile radius flock to your yard.
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#12
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

CheeseDeluxe Wrote:Duct tape your stomach. It is the only way.
You start with the most direct solution: using duct tape instead of milk! You pour some over your cereal and attempt to eat it.

After you stop choking, you decide this may not be the best plan.

Sanzh Wrote:Make a duct-tape sticky hand and yoink your neighbor's milk.
Yes! This will do perfectly! You make a long sticky-hand out of duct tape and reach over to your neighbor's house...

And you end up with a jug of orange juice. Then you remember that your neighbor is lactose intolerant. You'll need to try something else.

Ixcalibur Wrote:Make a cow out of duct tape and then milk it.
Of course! Milk comes from cows, so you'll make your own cow!

After painstakingly constructing your duct tape cow, you attempt to milk it. Sadly, this produces nothing.

Lord Paradise Wrote:Duct tape the fridge shut, creating an indeterminate state of milk-have
Using a vague knowledge of quantum physics, you duct tape the fridge shut. Now you both have milk and don't have milk until someone observes the state of the refrigerator!

Unfortunately, you can't quite figure out how to pour the milk you have and don't have on your cereal. Perhaps another approach is in order.

goggleman64 Wrote:> Create a lasso of duct tape; snag a milkman's van
You decide to snatch some milk from a delivery service. You make a lasso and hop on your duct tape cow, which is obviously able to move on its own, why wouldn't it be? You ride it down the street and lasso some cargo off of a passing truck.

It turns out to be a newspaper. You suddenly remember that nobody on this block gets milk delivered, so the milk truck never stops by. Darn!

Godbot Wrote:> Shoplift a supermarket. Leave a decoy milk carton made out of duct tape.

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
Finally, you settle on your plan. You ride your cow to the supermarket and go inside. You create a duct tape milk carton, and switch it with the real thing, then nonchalantly ride your cow outside and head back home.

Halfway there, you hear sirens. Looking behind you, it seems the police are in pursuit.

How will you use duct tape to evade them?
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#13
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Godbot.

> Make an invisibility cloak!
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#14
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Fengar.

>Create duct tape spikes to blow out their wheels!
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#15
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Riou.

Create a duct tape machine gun and open fire!
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#16
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by OrangeAipom.

> Barricade all openings with Duct Tape.
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#17
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Tasr.

>Create a dashing and roguish disguise from your duct-tape to avoid them.
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#18
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Askia.

make ur fathers driver license out of duct tape, tape it onto a heavy duct tape brick and throw it onto the police car while making a sharp turn

should solve everything
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#19
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by ProfessorLizzard.

>Duct tape caltrops!
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#20
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Solaris.

Use double sided duck tape on the road!
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#21
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by kabbage.

make a jet out of duct tape QUICK
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#22
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Godbot Wrote:> Make an invisibility cloak!
You quickly fashion a duct-tape cloak, but you can't seem to get the "invisibility" part down. It's stylish, though! You wear it with pride.

Fengar Wrote:>Create duct tape spikes to blow out their wheels!
You attempt to craft some spikes out of duct tape, but you just can't seem to get them to be sharp enough. The police car drives over them effortlessly.

Solaris Wrote:Use double sided duck tape on the road!
Since sharpening the tape didn't work, you try making a big loop of it instead, so it's sticky on both sides. The car gets stuck on it for a moment, but pulls itself free before long. You'll need another plan to get away for good.

Riou Wrote:Create a duct tape machine gun and open fire!
You fashion a machine gun out of duct tape and start firing. Unfortunately, you soon realize that you forgot to make any ammo. Whoops! And while you were doing that, the police car got quite a bit closer. You'll have to act fast now...

kabbage Wrote:make a jet out of duct tape QUICK
In desperation, you fashion a duct tape jet as fast as you can. Just as you finish it, the police car catches up. You're about to jump off the cow and take the jet...

But suddenly, the cow throws you off its back, hops in the jet, and flies away! Man, that's ungrateful.

Moments later, the police car stops. You can see the two officers opening the doors; no doubt they're going to arrest you shortly. You'll need a plan to get out of this, and fast!

Tasr Wrote:>Create a dashing and roguish disguise from your duct-tape to avoid them.
Suddenly, inspiration strikes! You craft a fake moustache from duct tape and wear it on your face.

The officers soon arrive, and look at you quizzically.

"Excuse me, sir," one of them says. "Have you seen a milk thief around? He was riding on a cow made of duct tape..."

"He went that way!" you reply, pointing in a random direction. The officers thank you, get back in their car, and drive off.

Your disguise worked perfectly! Now you just need to get home and have breakfast... Except, you seem to have gotten lost during the chase with the police. You don't recognize this part of the city at all.

How are you going to find your way home? Using only duct tape, of course.
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#23
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Riou.

Make a map out of duct tape!
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#24
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Solaris.

Spider-Man Style Swinging!
You can go higher and get a better view!
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#25
Re: Duct Tape
Originally posted on MSPA by Ixcalibur.

Walk through the streets in a rough spiral until you find somewhere you recognise. Leave a trail of duct tape to clearly indicate the path you have taken in case you get lost again.
fyck phytybyckyt
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