ZooStuck

ZooStuck
#1
ZooStuck
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

[Image: GM4g3.gif]

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

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#2
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

Bumbledump Trillscendo
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#3
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Anomaly.

Poopsmell Zoolord
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#4
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Elize.

"An Unusual Collection of Naughty Bits"
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#5
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Solaris.

JOHNNY RAPTOR
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#6
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Ross_Varn.

> John Egbert
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#7
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Agent1022.

Mann Young
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#8
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

SpoilerShow

Quote:Zoosmell Pooplord
Yes, your name is Zoosmell Pooplord. It has been a great embarrassment throughout your life. You have often wondered how exactly you ended up with such a terrible name. You're pretty sure your father doesn't actually hate you, after all.

You've tried asking him about it, but every time, the answer was the same: "I can't explain that until your 13th birthday."

Man, you just want to know how you ended up with a stupid name. Why do you have to wait until your 13th birthday? That's so far away...

...Wait a minute. That's today!

You've made a decision! Today you're going to ask your father how you ended up with the name Zoosmell Pooplord, and you're not taking no for an answer! Or yes, for that matter, because "How come I'm named Zoosmell Pooplord?" isn't a Yes/No question.

You grab your hat and head out, because your father's hardly ever around. Not even on your birthday. He's always busy with "work", but what does he even do? Probably something stupid involving ties.

You are now Zoosmell Pooplord's hat. Your owner is trying to find his father and learn the origins of his stupid name. For mysterious reasons that you only know because you are a hat, you cannot allow this to happen today. What will you do?
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#9
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Agent1022.

Couple with the hatrack.
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#10
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

Get blown away by a sudden gust of air.
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#11
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Solaris.

Eat the human child.
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#12
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by DS Piron.

< Ask the Pearl and it's guardian, Lapis Lazuli, for assistance

>Can you talk? Perhaps you can pretend you're John's subconscious...
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#13
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by PersonPerson.

Punch Zoosmell on the head.
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#14
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by ~ATH.

> Do nothing, because you're a hat and proud of it.
[Image: 6xGo4ab.png][Image: sig.gif]
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#15
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Dragon Fogel.

Agent1022 Wrote:Couple with the hatrack.
She's a fine lady, she is, but business before pleasure. You've got to take care of this matter first.

Solaris Wrote:Eat the human child.
What? No! That would be a betrayal of everything hats stand for! You can't destroy your human charge!

Even if he does smell delicious... No! Well, maybe just a little bite wouldn't hurt...

Oh, wait. You don't have teeth. You couldn't even do that if you wanted to. Right, new plan.

MrGuy Wrote:Get blown away by a sudden gust of air.
What? Don't be silly. If you're separated from your charge, how will you keep him from learning the truth for the rest of this critical day? Plus it's not as if you can control the wind anyhow, that would be ludicrous.

Oh. Wait. While you were considering how silly and frivolous that idea was, you were blown away by a sudden gust of wind. This could be a problem...

Oh. Zoosmell is chasing after you! Perfect! As long as this wind keeps up, you should be able to delay him for hours!

Unless he gives up on you after five minutes. Dammit. Back in your day, a hat meant something to a kid! But no, this stupid kid thinks you're less important than finding out why he had to suffer through thirteen years with a stupid name.

You'd think it was time for a new plan, except you can't do a whole lot on your own. The wind keeps blowing and you fly through an open window and land on some idiot's head.

You are now some idiot. A stupid-looking hat has just blown on your head, but that isn't your main concern.

Your main concern is that you ran over a car on your way to work. Yes, you ran over a car with your bare hands. You don't know how it happened, but you're stuck in the police station until you can explain it.

Oh, and also it's your son's thirteenth birthday, which means you'll have to explain why you gave him that stupid name when he asks. Which he probably will. You're not looking forward to that, either.

And that's without getting into all the problems you're no doubt going to have at work! Your job is pretty terrible, after all.

So what are you going to do?
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#16
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

Burn the hat.
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#17
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by MrGuy.

Lament your lack of eyeballs and mouth.
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#18
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Agent1022.

Call in sick. You ran over a car and it's really affecting you.
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#19
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by ~ATH.

> Run over hands with hat.
[Image: 6xGo4ab.png][Image: sig.gif]
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#20
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

Suddenly develop a deep empathetic bond with the hat and forget the existence of your son.
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#21
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by PersonPerson.

Eat the hat.
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#22
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by youdont12know.

>Explain being part alien son of eqeius Zahhak, which in engish of course means pooplord.
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#23
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by Chwoka.

youdont12know Wrote:>Explain being part alien son of eqeius Zahhak, which in engish of course means pooplord.
What?
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#24
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by youdont12know.

Well this'd explain both the running over a car, and the name thing.
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#25
Re: ZooStuck (U4G)
Originally posted on MSPA by OldManRupee.

Escape prison.
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