LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade

LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
#26
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
I have sort of a similar but opposite problem to Schazer's, in that "gender-neutral" clothing is almost always just considered Male By Default, and anything more feminine than that would probably just get me labeled as a crossdresser. (ugggh)

(As a side note, does anyone have any hot tips on how to make a full beard look more androgynous? Because I really enjoy not shaving every day and I would hate to have to give that up.)

Also, Schazer have you tried telling some of these people to mind their own damn business? Like, who raised these people that they think it's acceptable to go up to random strangers on the street and start quizzing them on their gender? Get lost creeps.
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#27
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
I'm somewhat exaggerating people's responses here - most people (in Japan especially) would be content with just giving me a second glance and a bit of staring at worst. I just want to, like, be in a space where an androgynous person is taken as fact rather than being an invitation for people to start guessing (however silently/blatantly) which of The Two Sexes I am.

Japanese is not much good with gender neutral anything, much less pronoun usage. Being referred to in a gender-neutral fashion is often not possible, or would be the cause of too much confusion. My ability to deal with it varies - sometimes I don't care at all that feminine pronouns are being slapped on me, other times I don't want to deal with the confusion when either "valid" answer to defuse the situation feels wrong on some level.

It doesn't help matters that folks in the Japanese sales/service industry will want to use the right ones, and get very embarrassed and apologetic if they get it wrong or show confusion.
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#28
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Ah, that makes more sense.

I'm being kind of a hypocrite here anyway. I doubt that I would have it in me to tell off groups of strangers all the time, even if they did totally deserve it.
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#29
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Also somewhere along the way Americans became able to gay marry

belated yay America

/me is not in America
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#30
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
(10-10-2015, 03:47 PM)Coldblooded Wrote: »Ah, that makes more sense.

I'm being kind of a hypocrite here anyway. I doubt that I would have it in me to tell off groups of strangers all the time, even if they did totally deserve it.

hi dangron. here's a street I saw in columbus.


[Image: tumblr_nw42ez6AZE1rq8eh8o2_r1_500.jpg]

guess you could say this road's a real "dead end!!!!!!" ha ha,.
[Image: RjvYOd.png]
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#31
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
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#32
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Okay, I said I was going to do this... well, technically today. This is going to be long and somewhat NSFW, so I'm just going to put all the back stuff in a spoiler.
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I mean, Tuesday morning, I was getting a haircut (and reluctantly at that, because I didn't see anyhting wrong with longer hair, because that feels right to me WOW I WONDER WHY), and I wasn't thinking about whether I was a boy or a girl because I was obviously a boy. And here I am, three days later, and I have no clue any more. Well, okay, I have a clue, and that's that I'm pretty likely transgender and just...

I don't really know what to do.
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#33
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Oh I'm so sorry kí

I mentioned gender war because you said "Like, my parents don't know that I'm X and now I might also be Y?" and I thought you were talking about gender, and not just talking vaguely, or about which gen 6 pokemon game you are a player of.

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Quote:I don't really know what to do.
There's no catch-all advice to give since it all depends on various factors in your own personal situation*, but if I had to offer one thing I'd say to look into a psychologist or therapist in your area that has a reputation for being good with gender dysphoria issues. They can help act as a good solid soundingboard to help you plot what your plan of action will be from here on out; also they can help sort out what's what with regard to the mental tangles that've knotted you up throughout your life.

You don't have to be specific with your parents w/r/t what you're seeing a therapist for.

*how far you go in revealing things to others and who you tell depends on various things, including
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Also i make the offer to anyone here that if you ever end up in a tight emergency (like if you're about to get thrown out), I can always lend some golds to help you get back on your feet. something to keep in mind

Someone who's way better acquainted with queer groups (like campus queer groups) can probably give better specific advice on how to find those support networks. I'm not the best advice giver for this topic and you can easily disregard most things in this post if they look dumb; I only hope to point toward the right direction.

Finally, always remember we are all here for you to lend emotional support, fríend. You are on an adventure of discovery. Hopefully we can help encourage you along the way c:
[Image: RjvYOd.png]
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#34
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Depending on where you live, finding a LGBTQ-friendly therapist isn't always possible. It's nice if you can get it, but it's not the end of the world if that's not currently an option!

Also, you absolutely need to make sure they're explicitly LGBTQ-friendly. I learned that the hard way, unfortunately.

The most important thing is to have people you can safely talk about this stuff with. I haven't been able to really act on my gender issues yet, but having a supportive circle of friends keeps me going.
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#35
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Trust me Ki, you're not alone. This is probably the gayest collection of queer that's ever gayed on the internet, all of us in different niches and social/home situations. You can always talk to us and our extensive gayness!
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#36
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
As an addendum: There's something fundamental in the way you feel when you stop pretending to be someone you're not. It's like... every time someone misgendered you, or treated you in a way that was 'wrong', somehow, or gave you the wrong clothes and the wrong presents, you got a rock added to this big pilgrim's progress-esque burden on your shoulders. And you carried around this burden every day of your life, it getting heavier and heavier, until you forgot what it was like to live without it. You told yourself 'this is fine'. You pretended that you liked having a slowly-crushing weight on your back. No one else complained, right?

Stopping this lie to yourself is admitting that you don't want to be unhappy for the rest of your life. It's remembering what it was like not to have that pain, and striving to have those rocks removed from your burden, one at at time. Every friendly acceptance. Every correct pronoun. Every moment things felt 'right' and not 'wrong'.

And one day you'll [strk]find bird jesus[/strk] realize the burden is gone, and it's been replaced with balloons or some shit. This metaphor got away from me
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#37
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Dang, that blog gets me
[Image: msicon1.png][Image: msicon2.png]
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#38
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
(11-28-2015, 05:32 AM)Wheat Wrote: »I mentioned gender war because you said "Like, my parents don't know that I'm X and now I might also be Y?" and I thought you were talking about gender, and not just talking vaguely, or about which gen 6 pokemon game you are a player of.
Okay, yeah, that was kind of vague. Then again, it also was written literally at 2AM, so it was kind of unclear. Fully explaining, I haven't come out to my parents as asexual yet, and so that's why I'm sort of worried.

(11-28-2015, 05:32 AM)Wheat Wrote: »There's no catch-all advice to give since it all depends on various factors in your own personal situation*, but if I had to offer one thing I'd say to look into a psychologist or therapist in your area that has a reputation for being good with gender dysphoria issues. They can help act as a good solid soundingboard to help you plot what your plan of action will be from here on out; also they can help sort out what's what with regard to the mental tangles that've knotted you up throughout your life.

You don't have to be specific with your parents w/r/t what you're seeing a therapist for.
Yeah, our school has a counceling center, and I'm planning on going to visit it sometime. I might talk to some of the people in the LGBT group first, to see if they know about our how it works, but I think they might be okay. Better safe than sorry, as Loather said, and I really need to be cautious because it's a Lutheran school (aka yeah probably pretty conservative). And besides, I've had some form of depression for forever and have gone to school therapists for that before; I don't think my parents would question why I was going again.

(11-28-2015, 05:32 AM)Wheat Wrote: »Finally, always remember we are all here for you to lend emotional support, fríend. You are on an adventure of discovery. Hopefully we can help encourage you along the way c:
(11-28-2015, 08:54 AM)Loather Wrote: »The most important thing is to have people you can safely talk about this stuff with. I haven't been able to really act on my gender issues yet, but having a supportive circle of friends keeps me going.
(11-28-2015, 10:30 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »Trust me Ki, you're not alone. This is probably the gayest collection of queer that's ever gayed on the internet, all of us in different niches and social/home situations. You can always talk to us and our extensive gayness!
Thanks you all. Like I said, I know most of the people here, so that's why I'm talking out here first, rather than some other place.
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#39
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
I made a comic about coming out and exhibited it at pride! Its here (and huge)

Its better read vertically rather than horizontally but i'm not ur mum



Anyway i think it went over pretty well! There was a crowd around reading it at a couple points so i feel good
[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
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#40
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Fact Seagull That is a very well made comic.
Sig:
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#41
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Ty :>
[Image: WEdy1pW.png] [Image: cyTsdj6.png]
[Image: 30058_799389.png]
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#42
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
That's a really well-made piece, Plaid!
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#43
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Happy Down With Cis Day, everyone
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#44
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
can't we just call it Trump the Trump day and call it... a day?
[Image: Iv0bTLS.png]
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#45
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
it's the anniversary of The Down With Cis Bus today, or so I have been led to believe
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#46
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
Swear to god that thing was several years old by this point
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#47
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
it was an instant classic, an unforgettable and Completely Real Event that we should celebrate every year imo
I wanna be a real friend, Don't wanna break when I bend
I wanna a be no seeker, I wanna scream eureka
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#48
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
(11-28-2015, 03:11 AM)Kíeros Wrote: »Okay, I said I was going to do this... well, technically today. This is going to be long and somewhat NSFW, so I'm just going to put all the back stuff in a spoiler.
...
I don't really know what to do.

So, uh, just to throw this out there, I know it's an old post, but that entire spoiler is so close to how I feel, it's a little spooky. Like, right even down to closetedtransgirlopinions having a major role in your realization. So I get how you're feeling.

Also, hi everyone, I'm trans, I didn't mean for this to be like the second thing I ever posted here, but seriously I could have written that post and it spoke to me.
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#49
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
it feels weird having not posted here when eagle time's community was pretty important in helping me realize I am, in fact, aggressively bisexual

also I have maaaybe been having weird gender feelings as of late (which I've offhandedly mentioned in IRC) but I'unno if I feel comfortable like, expounding on that (or even capable of really articulating it)? but I might blather about that at some point, I'unno
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#50
RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
smash all gender

The eagle time community and its presence in my life are baaasically the only reasons I have any understanding of my own gender identity or skill as a writer, which is sometimes a weird thought to have, but is also pretty cool.
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