ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND

ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
#26
Dunk him in the slam
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#27
(10-02-2014, 02:14 PM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »SPORTS

(10-03-2014, 01:56 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »JUMP ON THE POSTCARD

(10-03-2014, 01:58 AM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Dunk him in the slam

YOU ARE SPORTS AND YOU HAVE BEEN SPORTED FOR THE SPORT OF SPORTS. IT'S TIME FOR SPORTS.

YOU THROW DOWN THE POSTCARD, NEGLECTING TO READ IT AT ALL, JUMP ON IT AND USE IT AS A LAUNCHPAD TO ROCKET OFF TO THE BBALL COURTS.

YOU FORGET THAT ALL THINGS FROM THE GOVERNMENT IN OBAMAS AMERICA ARE LINED WITH EXPLOSIVES, YOU LITERALLY ROCKET TO THE BBALL COURT.


YOU ARRIVE AT THE BBALL COURT WITH GRACE, THERE ARE 8 TONY ABBOTT CLONES. TONY IS THE REF, TONY IS THE PLAYERS, TONY IS THE COACH, TONY IS THE SCOREKEEPER. 1V5. YOU MUST SCORE ONE HOOP BEFORE THEY SCORE THREE.

YOU CAN FUCKING DO THIS.

HOW?
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#28
CHEAT

STEAL SCOREKEEPER TONY'S SCORECARD AND GIVE YOURSELF A POINT

VICTORY
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#29
IT'S TIME FOR SOME BOAT BALL
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#30
Wait for explosive inings to kill all the tony abbotts.
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#31
seduce the ref
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#32
"Court is now in recession"

make a shot from tthe far end of the court and also steal a job
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#33
MAKE ARMOUR OUT OF THE GRILL
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invest pisscoin
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#34
DEFUND HEALTHCARE
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#35
(10-04-2014, 03:37 AM)Dragon Fogel Wrote: »CHEAT

STEAL SCOREKEEPER TONY'S SCORECARD AND GIVE YOURSELF A POINT

VICTORY

(10-04-2014, 04:09 AM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »IT'S TIME FOR SOME BOAT BALL

(10-09-2014, 07:22 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »DEFUND HEALTHCARE

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT AND YOU HAVE BEEN CONVICTED FOR THE CRIME OF PLAYING SPORTS ON A BOAT. ENTIRELY TOO BRITISH TO BE ALLOWED.

THE SPORT MATCH BEGINS. TONY IMMEDIATELY SCORES TWO HOOPS, HIS MUSCULAR PHYSIQUE IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE YOU NEED TO USE SOME OF YOUR GOOD OLD AMERICAN INTUITION AND CHEAT TO WIN. YOU POINT AT A BUILDING AND SHOUT "LOOK A WELL FUNDED MEDICAL CLINIC". ALL THE TONIES IMMEDIATELY TURN AND LOOK AT IT WHILE YOU STEAL THE SCORECARD.

YOU ERASE TONYS NAME AND SUBSTITUTE YOUR OWN.

HOWEVER, YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO GET ONE POINT AND NOT TWO, THE TONIES DECLARE YOU A LOSER.

WHAT NOW SMART ASS?
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#36
DISTRACT THEM AGAIN AND THEN SWITCH PLACES WITH A CLONE SO HE GETS TO BE A LOSER INSTEAD
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#37
FIND ONIONS THEN EAT ONIONS RAW ONIONS ONION SKIN ONION BONES AW HECKING YEAH ONIONS
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#38
LEADERSHIP SPILL

A TANKER FULL OF LEADERS HAS CRASHED INTO THE GREAT BARRIER REEF, SPILLING LEADERS EVERYWHERE AND BLEACHING THE CORAL
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#39
(04-21-2016, 06:32 AM)Dragon Fogel Wrote: »DISTRACT THEM AGAIN AND THEN SWITCH PLACES WITH A CLONE SO HE GETS TO BE A LOSER INSTEAD

(04-21-2016, 06:45 AM)Loather Wrote: »FIND ONIONS THEN EAT ONIONS RAW ONIONS ONION SKIN ONION BONES AW HECKING YEAH ONIONS

(04-21-2016, 07:31 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »LEADERSHIP SPILL

A TANKER FULL OF LEADERS HAS CRASHED INTO THE GREAT BARRIER REEF, SPILLING LEADERS EVERYWHERE AND BLEACHING THE CORAL

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT AND YOU HAVE BEEN CONVICTED FOR THE CRIME OF NOT PROPERLY PREPARING ONIONS AND RATHER JUST MUNCHING ON THE FUCKERS RAW. HORRIFYING.

"LOOK A BOAT!" YOU SAY POINTING BEHIND THE TONIES. THEY ALL MOMENTARILY TURN THEIR HEAD, YOU KNOCK ONE DOWN AND STEAL THEIR BUDGIE SMUGGLERS HOPING TO IMPERSONATE ONE OF THEM,
H O W E V E R
WHEN YOU REMOVE THE SMUGGLED BUDGIES ALL THAT IS THERE IS AN ONION. IT PEELS ITSELF REVEALING A BLACK HOLE. THE TONY PROMPTLY COLLAPSES IN ON ITSELF AND EXPLODES, SENDING YOU FLYING A FEW FEET BACK.

THE OTHER 4 TONIES LOOK AT YOU WITH A HORRIFIED LOOK. "we'll be back to deal with you later" THEY SAY AS THEY FLY AWAY.

THE EXPLOSION KNOCKED OVER A NEWS STAND, THERE ARE NEWSPAPERS LITTERED EVERYWHERE ALL DATED TO THE DAY TONY TOOK OVER. "Turnbull takes over!" THEY READ, WITH A PICTURE OF TURNBULL, A GIANT BULL, ON THE FRONT PAGE. IF ONLY YOU COULD FIND THIS BEAST, AND USE IT TO ESCAPE ABBOTT ISLAND. OR BEAT TONY PRIME.

YOU ARE IN A FUCKED UP BASKETBALL COURT, YOU CAN LEAVE IT OR EXPLORE THE CLUBROOM.
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#40
no, stay. and be absorbed by the black hole.
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#41
Cosmic slam dunk the black hole through a hoop
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#42
Start clubbing people and then institute lockout laws
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#43
(04-23-2016, 11:52 AM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »no, stay. and be absorbed by the black hole.

(04-24-2016, 01:14 AM)Schazer Wrote: »Cosmic slam dunk the black hole through a hoop

(04-29-2016, 06:35 AM)AgentBlue Wrote: »Start clubbing people and then institute lockout laws

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT. ACCUSED FOR CREATING BLACK HOLES AND WATCHING THE DISAPPEAR. DANGEROUS.

YOU PICK UP THE BLACK HOLE. IT IS INCREDIBLY HEAVY, ABOUT THE WEIGHT OF TONY ABBOTT. YOU CAN NOT SLAM DUNK THIS.
YOU CLUB IT.
YOU LEAVE THE SPORTS COURTS.
YOU LOCK THE GATE.

YOU ARE NOW ON A ROAD. ACROSS THE ROAD IS THE TODD RIVER. WITH NO WATER. THERE HAS NOT BEEN WATER IN YEARS.
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#44
BITE INTO ONION

CRY INTO IT
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#45
> BUILD A BRIDGE. EVERYONE KNOWS A BRIDGE GOES OVER WATER.
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#46
(05-01-2016, 12:02 PM)AgentBlue Wrote: »BITE INTO ONION

CRY INTO IT

(05-04-2016, 08:51 PM)Kíeros Wrote: »> BUILD A BRIDGE. EVERYONE KNOWS A BRIDGE GOES OVER WATER.

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT, DISCREDITED FROM THE INTERNATIONAL ONION QUALITY ASSURANCE BOARD FOR BITING THE CHAIRMAN, A HARROWING TALE FOR THE GRANDKIDS.

A LONE ONION ROLLS INTO YOU, GENTLY BOUNCING OFF YOUR FOOT. A TONY ABBOTT DOWN THE ROAD GIVES YOU A KNOWING WINK, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO. YOU PICK UP THE ONION AND STARE AT IT. IT'S AN ONION. ROUND, PURPLE STAINS RUN THROUGH ITS LAYERS AND IT IS GREEN AT THE EXTREMITIES. A DEEP AND PRIMAL FORCE BECKONS YOU NOT TO DO THIS, DO NOT COMMIT THIS HEINOUS SIN, AS YOU RAISE IT TO YOUR MOUTH YOU HEAR THE CHILLING CRY OF THE UNIVERSE. "WHY" IT SAYS, "WHY".
YOU BITE THAT FUCKER RAW.
A TEAR ROLLS DOWN YOUR CHEEK AND INTO THE BANKS OF THE TODD RIVER. THIS DOES NOTHING FOR THE LACK OF WATER.

YOU WALK ACROSS THE RIVER, INTO WHAT WAS ONCE A PARK BUT IS NOW A PARK BUT NOT WELL MAINTAINED AS THAT WOULD COST TOO MUCH OF THE BUDGET. NO NEED FOR A BRIDGE TODAY. WHAT WILL YOU DO IN THIS WONDERLAND OF UNKEMPT SHRUBBERY.
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#47
> Grab a shrubbery, just in case you need it later.
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#48
> CATALOG THE FLORA. ALL OF IT.
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#49
(07-21-2016, 04:07 PM)Kíeros Wrote: »> Grab a shrubbery, just in case you need it later.

(07-21-2016, 11:23 PM)ForestGardener Wrote: »> CATALOG THE FLORA. ALL OF IT.

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT, REGULAR AT THE LOCAL BOTANY CLUB DISGRACED IN INCIDENT WITH VENUS FLYTRAP.

YOU GRAB A SHRUB, IT IS DRY AND PRICKLY. WHY DID YOU DO THIS. TONY ABBOTT THE NOTED HORTICULTURALIST HAS NOTICED YOU HAVE TAKEN A KEEN INTEREST IN THE LOCAL FLORA.
"well....." HE SAYS








HE JUST STARES AT YOU HOLDING THE SHRUB FOR A GOOD 5 MINUTES HERE NOW. WHILE NODDING HIS HEAD.






".....uhh you know I really need a good young lad to be my minister for the environment, someone who knows the value of dry weeds and an honest days work in the salt mines. What do you say?"

WELL WHAT DO YOU SAY?
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#50
Throw a poke ball at it
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