ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND

ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
fuck i dunno how to play cards
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
wild wild wild wild wild f wild
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
Mug the void and steal their cards
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
close your eyes, pick a random card, eat it
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(07-11-2017, 11:47 AM)Kaynato Wrote: »Yellow skip.
(07-11-2017, 02:48 PM)Myeth Wrote: »fuck i dunno how to play cards
(07-12-2017, 08:01 AM)Coolacanth Wrote: »wild wild wild wild wild f wild
(07-12-2017, 07:58 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Mug the void and steal their cards
(07-14-2017, 02:43 AM)KittenEater Wrote: »close your eyes, pick a random card, eat it

You are Tony A.bott. Or at least you think you might be. You aren't entirely sure right now.

You stare down the pile of cards floating in the nothing. Green begins to seep out of them, into the white void. Albiet slowly. Now you don't actually know how to play Uno persay but you do know how to win games, so given this you play the yellow skip. The world vanishes into a black void and you begin to fall down. Thinking quickly you play the wild and you land in a lush jungle near a small lake. Your energy legs are gone, you are human again.

You punch the air and steal the other hand of cards.
"Fuck, ow" Says the person you stole this body from. "Why can't you just give me a chance."
You eat a card. It was the 4 of diamonds. It tastes of wealth.

Now you are face to face with the other being within the dreamscape, the one you wronged oh so long ago, what will you do?
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
Eat a chicken leg
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
Turn them into a chicken first. Then eat the leg.
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
flap at them with your card hands!
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
AT LONG FUCKING LAST YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT THANK THE ALMIGHTY CHRSIT ALIVE FOR THAT REVELATION, BUT ALAS IT SEEMS YOU'RE IN A PICKLE OF SORTS AS YOUVE BEEN INCACERTATED UNSCRUPULOUSLY FOR THE MERE ACT OF IN FACT BEING THE THING YOU ARE WHICH IS TONY A.BOTT BY THE WAY JUST IN CASE WE WERENT CLEAR ON THAT.


YOU WAKE UP.

YOU LIE ON THE GROUND. THERE IS THE ROAD. THERE IS THE ETERNAL GOD DAMN NOTHING THAT SURROUNDS YOU IN MOST DIRECTIONS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO NORTH EAST WEST SOUTH AND ANY VARIATION AND OR COMBINATION OF THE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED CARDINAL NOTIONS BUT YOU, YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL NO BULLSHIT NO CONTINUITY NO ANYTHING AND DEAR GOD YOU HAVE A HANKERING TO ESCAPERING.

WHAT MY DEAR READERS, WILL YOU DO
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
down
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
Fidget spin diagonally into the horizon
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
>Craft an effigy of your childhood frenemy Talcum Mornball
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(02-11-2018, 04:50 PM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »down
(02-11-2018, 05:01 PM)Myeth Wrote: »Fidget spin diagonally into the horizon
(02-11-2018, 08:37 PM)CSJ Wrote: »>Craft an effigy of your childhood frenemy Talcum Mornball

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT, CONVICTED FOR THE CRIME OF BEING A SANCTIMONIOUS FUCK. IN HINDSIGHT, YOU DESERVED THIS.

DOWN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DOWN. YOU MORON. YOU IDIOT. DOWN IS DIRT. DOWN IS HELL. DOWN IS NOT GOING DOWN. DO YOU MEAN 'DOWN' THE DOWN, CONSUME THE DOWN, EAT THE DOWN. THERE ARE NO DUCKS HERE, SO CONSUMPTION OF THE CONCEPT OF DOWN WILL HAVE TO SUFFICE BUT ALAS THATS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE YOU DIPSHIT. SO INSTEAD YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE A BIG SHOW OF THIS, MAKE A REAL SCENE OF IT, AND EAT THE DIRT. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU PICK UP A HANDFUL OF DIRT AND CRAM IT RIGHT INTO YOUR PRECIOUS FUCKING GOB. IN IT GOES AND YOU SWISH IT AROUND A BIT, GET A GOOD TASTE FOR IT, REALLY SAVOUR THE FUCKING FLAVOUR. HM, YES, YES, TASTES A BIT LIKE DIRT, AS IN AWFUL. YOU'RE GETTING SUBTLE HINTS OF WELL SEASONED IRONIUS OXIDIUSIMOLINOUS, KNOWN TO THE 'UNWASHED MASSES' (UGH HOW YOU HATE THE COMMONER, HOW DARE THEY NOT REFER TO THINGS WITH THE CORRECT TERMINOLOGY INSTEAD OPTING FOR THE LAYMANS TERMS AS THOUGH THE LAYMAN WAS NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON NOT WORTHY OF RESPECT NOR ADMIRATION, DEPLORABLE) AS '''''''RUST'''''''. YOU SPIT IT OUT LIKE A GOOD DIRT TASTER. THAT WAS SOME PISS SHIT QUALITY SOIL, NOT UNLIKE YOUR DEAR MA-MA USED TO MAKE. THIS IS A VERY NOSTALGIC MOMENT FOR YOU, NOTED DIRT LICKER.

RATHER THAN LOLLYGAG AROUND ALL DAY YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF AND SPIN A NICE YARN TO YOUR GOOD PAL TALCUM MORNBALL HERE, WHO IS A MEAGER SHRUB ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD, BUT NONTHELESS YOU WILL TELL YOUR HARROWING TALE TO THEM. YOU YANK THEM OUT THE GROUND AND SPIN THEM DIAGONALLY INTO THE HORIZON. THAT'LL LEARN EM.

WELL THAT WAS POINTLESS. WHAT NOW?
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
i bet there's a raw onion to eat whole in that dirt
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
go back to jail for onion crimes do the onion time
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(02-12-2018, 01:34 PM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »i bet there's a raw onion to eat whole in that dirt
(02-12-2018, 01:59 PM)Coolacanth Wrote: »go back to jail for onion crimes do the onion time

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT, YOU'VE YET TO BE ARRESTED, BUT FRET NOT FOR YOUR TIME WILL COME SWIFTLY AND JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED.

DIRT

ITS ALWAYS DIRT

NOTHING LESS

NOTHING MORE

JUST DIRT

YOU ARE A DIRTY BOY

YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU PLUNGE YOUR HAND INTO THE EARTH AND PULL FROM IT ONE ONION. NO ONE WANTS YOU TO DO THIS, NO ONE LIKES YOU WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ONION BUT OH SHIT ITS GETTIN' HAZY IN HERE LADS YOU CHOMP THAT BAD BOY IN ONE GO AND ABSORB ITS TERRIBLE POWER. YOU TURN TO FACE NORTH AND SIMPLY MAKE FINGER GUNS AT THE VAST EXPANSE AND ASK IT 'WHUS POPPIN'. THIS IS THE LAST THING YOU SEE BEFORE YOUR VISION HYPERFOCUSES IN ON THE ROAD EXTENDING INTO THE HORIZON AND YOU BLACK OUT.

YOU WAKE UP BUCK NAKED IN A BARE CELL. THIS WONT DO, NOT AT ALL. WHAT WILL YOU DO ABOUT THIS?
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
wow u wild, check if there are other inmates and hit em up via setting them on fire with your overpowering masculinity
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
disgorge your skeleton and use it as a key
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
chew through your arm even though you're not handcuffed to something
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(02-13-2018, 01:53 PM)☆ C.H.W.O.K.A ☆ Wrote: »chew through your arm even though you're not handcuffed to something
(02-13-2018, 11:44 AM)Coolacanth Wrote: »disgorge your skeleton and use it as a key
(02-12-2018, 03:36 PM)Myeth Wrote: »wow u wild, check if there are other inmates and hit em up via setting them on fire with your overpowering masculinity

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT. ARRESTED FOR PRISON CRIMES.

FIRST STEP OF YOUR MASTER PLAN, FIND PREY. YOU SEARCH HIGH, YOU SEARCH LOW, BUT ALAS YOU ARE BUT IN A CEMENT CUBICLE WITH NARY BUT A BARRED WALL TO KEEP YOU COMPANY. TOTALLY EMPTY. NEVERTHELESS YOU REQUIRE ONE TO DOMINATE WITH YOUR OVERPOWERING MANLINESS, WHICH BY THE WAY, YOU ARE TOTALLY COMFORTABLE WITH AND ARE NOT DOING THIS IN AN ACT OF INSECURITY IN ORDER TO CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE IN FACT MANLY ENOUGH FOR THE MAN CLUB, SO YOU FIGURE, YOU WILL HAVE TO DO. YOU LOOK OVER AT YOUR LEFT ARM AND BEGIN TO FORMULATE FORMULATIONS.

YOU BEND YOUR NECK OVER TO YOUR SHOULDER AND BEGIN TO GNAW UPON YOUR OWN ARM. YES, THIS WILL TEACH IT. ITS THEIR FAULT YOU'RE EVEN IN THIS MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU BITE INTO IT TAKING OUT CHUNK AFTER CHUNK OF FLESH, MUSCLE AND TENDON. IT TAKES YOU A WHILE BUT EVENTUALLY YOU ARE DOWN TO THE BARE BONE AND THE FLOOR IS COATED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD. WITH A SOLEMN SIGH YOU DEAL THE FINISHING BLOW AND BIT CLEAN THROUGH YOUR OWN BONE. THE THINGS YOU DO FOR LOVE. YOU LOOK AT YOUR ARM, NOW LAYING UPON THE FLOOR, DEAD AND SAY TO IT "HEY GOOD LOOKIN' WATCHA GOT COOKIN". IT IMMEDIATELY IGNITES. THE ANSWER WAS IN FACT ITSELF APPARENTLY.

YOU SIT BY THE BURNING ARM AND SING A SHORT KUMBAYAH AS A PEACE OFFERING TO ARMSTRONG THE GREAT. AS IT BURNS, ALL THAT REMAINS IS THE BONE. YOU PICK UP THE SKELETON ARM AND RATTLE IT AGAINST THE CAGED WALL THAT HAS TRAPPED YOU HERE, AND IT GENTLY OPENS. IT WAS NEVER LOCKED TO BEGIN WITH.

NEXT STEP?
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
Privatise some speedos and use them as a garotte if someone turns up. Or a lifesaver cap, those also work.

The manly thing to do now is to run away from all responsibilities towards the manly club. For manly people. In Manly.
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
like every other next step!

eat ASS
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(A collab adventure with my dude, devil!)
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(out of the fridge)
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
(02-15-2018, 08:48 AM)Coolacanth Wrote: »(out of the fridge)
(02-14-2018, 02:38 PM)[Robocoon] Wrote: »like every other next step!

eat ASS
(02-14-2018, 12:23 PM)CSJ Wrote: »Privatise some speedos and use them as a garotte if someone turns up. Or a lifesaver cap, those also work.

The manly thing to do now is to run away from all responsibilities towards the manly club. For manly people. In Manly.

YOU ARE TONY A.BOTT AND YOU HAVE BEEN ARRESTED FOR THE CRIME OF EATING ASS WRONG. NO, YOU WEREN'T MEANT TO EAT A DONKEY YOU DIPSHJIT. THAT WAS NOT COOL.


"I HUNGER FOR ASS" YOU SHOUT SO LOUD IT CRACKS THE WALLS. IT ECHOES DOWN THE HALLS, YOU CAN FEEL THE FEAR EMANATE FROM BEYOND AND YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR VICTIM. YOU RUN HEADFIRST AT THE WALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.


You are but a lowly prison guard. On lunch break in the break room. You haven't been arrested, why would have you been? What sort of dumb query is that. "Hey joe" says you colleague, "Get us a can". They gesture you at the refridgerator. You hear "I HUNGER FOR ASS" blast through the facility so loudly it hurts your eardrums, fuck dude that was just, ow. You go over to the fridge to grab that can and then you're reporting in to see what the fuck that was. You open the fridge and the man standing in the fridge hands you a can. You turn around and head off. As you go to exit the breakroom some fridge logic hits you. "man in the fridge" you think to yourself, but its too late, he has your buttocks in his firm grip now.

The being you personally had dragged to a cell yesterday stands behind you, breathing down your neck. "What way to the manly club" it says.

Well, how do you respond?
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RE: ESCAPE: ABBOTT ISLAND
In my heart
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