I'll answer your questions

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I'll answer your questions
Can I stab and reclaim my goods from anyone who tries to steal my hard-earned crap?
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...Can I retract my previous question?
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Can I eat the Party Staph so I can have a party with all the Staph that would probably be infecting me? I would pretty much be saving Schazer from a disease, right?
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(10-15-2014, 06:16 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »But did I need to offer up my hands at the time? I was just asking

Are y-you that inSENSITIVE?

SpoilerShow

SpoilerShow

For bringing anime into a sacred place, you have been further cursed. Your hands were unreal before, but now...

Now you will be forced to wear these gloves, which will never fall off your hands whether or not they exist. She has made them for you. You must accept them or you will be cast out.

Behold: The Anime Gloves
SpoilerShow

(10-15-2014, 06:17 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Does that jar have Staph bacteria in it?

Yes.. But also magic

(10-15-2014, 06:35 PM)SeaWyrm Wrote: »What's yellow and dangerous?

A madman in a yellow coat

(10-15-2014, 11:46 PM)Schazer Wrote: »Were the contents of the Master Chest made in anticipation of That Which Is Scheduled To Destroy All, or were they simply pre-existent things which could serve a use in the above situation?

Who locked the MYSTICAL ITEMS in the Master Chest, and were you (goblin's) acting against their interest in distributing the keys?

The contents of the Master Chest are items crafted by the goblin herself... She is beautiful, and thus the objects she makes are beautiful as well. They were made as weapons to be used in the Coming Destruction. You will find them useful, and you may begin to test their properties as soon as you like, provided you ask the right questions.

I locked the items in the chest, and I am always acting in the best interest of She Who Revels in Chaos.

(10-15-2014, 11:52 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Why did the goblin abandon you?

A question founded on a lie! I am never abandoned.

(10-16-2014, 12:41 AM)Garuru Wrote: »Can I have/steal the Party Staph? It looks fun.

You may not have it. I imagine if you had the right item or power, you could try to steal the Party Staph... it is a legendary weapon.

(10-16-2014, 12:52 AM)Schazer Wrote: »Can I stab and reclaim my goods from anyone who tries to steal my hard-earned crap?

You may only use the items you now possess. For the sake of keeping things tidy, after you used the 5 keys on the master chest, all 6 objects disappeared. Only Fogel's copy of the 3rd key still exists.

(10-16-2014, 12:55 AM)Garuru Wrote: »...Can I retract my previous question?

No. You've made a powerful enemy in Schazer. You best hope she is feeling cooperative.

(10-16-2014, 01:31 AM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Can I eat the Party Staph so I can have a party with all the Staph that would probably be infecting me? I would pretty much be saving Schazer from a disease, right?

Not you specifically, but maybe someone could eat the Party Staph.. You would only be saving Schazer from the foul enchantment my Mistress has cursed the bandage with.
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Is there anything I can do with my copy of one of five keys to a chest that no longer exists?
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the goblin has taken over my house and is holding the laundry hostage, can I get a refund on unused clothes if I have taken off the tag?
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Have you stopped beating your wife yet?

What is the most likely "use" of a "power" "tool"?
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Are goblin's?
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are you the type of goblin who enjoys outdoor (terranean) or indoor (lair) activities more

and what kinds of lair or terranean activities
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(10-16-2014, 03:00 AM)Dragon Fogel Wrote: »Is there anything I can do with my copy of one of five keys to a chest that no longer exists?

Oh yes. We are reasonable people, we will use all parts of this stupid adventure. Hold on to every little thing, you will never know when it may be useful again.

(10-16-2014, 03:01 AM)bigro Wrote: »the goblin has taken over my house and is holding the laundry hostage, can I get a refund on unused clothes if I have taken off the tag?

Just staple the tags back on, problem solv

(10-16-2014, 03:24 AM)SeaWyrm Wrote: »Have you stopped beating your wife yet?

What is the most likely "use" of a "power" "tool"?

I willn't start!

If I had to guess, based purely on the design of the "power" "tool".. you could possibly smash it open to unleash a torrent of dark force that could be used to some effect. Or it might do something completely unexpected.. I didn't make it, I only gave it to you.

(10-16-2014, 06:53 AM)Loather Wrote: »Are goblin's?

Hell yeah

(10-16-2014, 07:00 AM)Wheat Wrote: »are you the type of goblin who enjoys outdoor (terranean) or indoor (lair) activities more

and what kinds of lair or terranean activities


I ain't no goblin, but I still prefer lair activities. Lair activities such as brooding, crafting and being miserable.

My turn to ask everyone a question:
What are you least afraid of?
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lizards

okay thats not true gila monsters are pretty crazy

marshmallows?

nah i guess i could choke on them

um. air molecules. final answer.
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FREE, RADICAL AIR MOLECULES

AT LEAST I'M AFRAID OF SOMETHING REASONABLE
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does my humanity bestow any BONUS abilities? what if i want to multiclass?
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drinking blood from the skulls of my enemies
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I'm not afraid of jelly
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Wait a minute goblin's, you're married?!? What's her name? Why was I not invited to the wedding? :'(

I'm not afraid of non-commitment.
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(10-16-2014, 07:22 PM)Garuru Wrote: »lizards

okay thats not true gila monsters are pretty crazy

marshmallows?

nah i guess i could choke on them

um. air molecules. final answer.

Your answer is correct! You have been given a lifetime supply of air. If ever you are in need of fresh air, simply ask for it and you shall receive.

(10-16-2014, 07:33 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »FREE, RADICAL AIR MOLECULES

AT LEAST I'M AFRAID OF SOMETHING REASONABLE

You misread the question. I blame your horrible, horrible gloves

(10-16-2014, 07:37 PM)Solaris Wrote: »does my humanity bestow any BONUS abilities? what if i want to multiclass?

Yes! You get +5 to all rolls concerning having an opinion, and -5 to all rolls regarding childbirth. If you want to multiclass, you'll have to wait until fate delivers a new class unto you. Or take fate into your own hands.

(10-16-2014, 10:06 PM)Loather Wrote: »drinking blood from the skulls of my enemies

I don't believe this is what you're least afraid of. For telling a doubtful tale, you have earned the Shroud of Doubt. I'd post it, but I doubt you'd even believe it's the right item.

(10-16-2014, 10:43 PM)Coldblooded Wrote: »Wait a minute goblin's, you're married?!? What's her name? Why was I not invited to the wedding? :'(

I'm not afraid of non-commitment.

I'm not married, but I still will not beat a wife. I love goblin. you will be invited to the wedding via skype.

For being unafraid of non-committal situations, I hereby give you 1 Get-Out-Of-Terrible-Circumstance pass. Use it to reverse any decision I make regarding you that you do not feel comfortable with. Including this one!
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What happened to the Master Chest after I unlocked it?
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(10-16-2014, 10:22 PM)Jacquerel Wrote: »I'm not afraid of jelly

Somehow I missed this one. I'll make a special note that you're not afraid of jelly... for later.


(10-16-2014, 11:05 PM)Schazer Wrote: »What happened to the Master Chest after I unlocked it?

It opened to reveal your treasures! Then it sprouted legs and ran back into my loving embrace. It is safe from all of you, now.
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Does all of your furniture sprout limbs when the situation calls for it?
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Do computers have limbs?
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Was it worth it?

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Slorange it's ok I've got a band-aid for that now

Is the Party Staph a one-time use item? If not, will it heal Slorange and/or convert him into my loyal undead servant?
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(10-16-2014, 11:39 PM)Schazer Wrote: »Does all of your furniture sprout limbs when the situation calls for it?

Yeah, but rarely does the situation call for it

(10-16-2014, 11:50 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »Do computers have limbs?

Sometimes. Not enough.

(10-17-2014, 12:18 AM)Schazer Wrote: »Slorange it's ok I've got a band-aid for that now

Is the Party Staph a one-time use item? If not, will it heal Slorange and/or convert him into my loyal undead servant?

The Party Staph is mysterious, but it has been kept in a jar for a reason. You could use it on Slorange, if you wished, but the outcome is entirely unknowable until it happens.
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Where am I?

What are *you* least afraid of?
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