The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5

Quote:>Adler: Rabbits make great stew? Why, your pride has never been insulted like this before! You make better stew than any rabbit ever!
>Situation: Somehow devolve into a Stew cooking contest

[Image: 0501indignant_zpsepwt8ypo.gif]

"What are you saying?" I demanded hotly. "I'm the Stew Master of Albric Tor! No lowfolk bunny can make better stew than I can, and I'll challenge anybody to a stew-off to defend my title!"

"That's not what I meant, Your Highness," Burnside replied. "Rabbits are good in stew."

Quote:Adler > boop burnside's nose and say " rabbit stew"
Burnside's comment, frighten the rabbits further.
>Burnside: Be a trifle disappointed that hassenpfeffer seems to be off the menu.

The congregation screamed in unison, and the Maiden wailed in horror.

"No," I said, poking my finger in Burnside's face to demonstrate my resolve. "Feral rabbit, maybe, but we are not eating any lowfolk while I have anything to say about it."

"You don't know what you're missing," the raccoon muttered.

"Wow, you're like, even cuter when you're mad," SALV Fofox gushed admiringly.

"Go on and untie that poor maiden," I suggested to her.

Quote:SALV Fofox > comment you totally love the Easter maidens hair as you untie her
"Frost-Biter" could refer to an incident in Fifi's home village, when she tried learning Cryomancy with disastrous results.
Easter Maiden, believe that you are to be eaten alive by the Cold Ones.
>Fifi: Think the Maiden is kinda cute, for a rabbit.

[Image: 0501frostbiter_zps86pxj6oh.gif]

"I totally love your hair," Fifi chirped as she began untying the sacrificial Maiden from her stake. "Like, where did you get it done?"

"AAAAHH," the Maiden replied. "Frost-Biter! Frost-Biter! Away, I beg thee! Devour not my soul with thy cold, cold fangs!"

"Whoah, chill. I'm totally not gonna hurt you."

"AAAAHHHH," the Maiden shrieked. "Frost-Biter is going to do unmentionable things to me! Oh why was I ever born?"

"Stop calling me Frost-Biter!" Fifi said, offended. "Like, how do you even know about that anyway? It was years and years ago in distant Lengra-Cha."

The Maiden did not reply, but simply slumped loosely in her bonds while quietly sobbing.

Quote:>Thomson: Announce that from now on the sacrifice will be delivered weekly and instead of a person will be milk, eggs, flour, butter, coffee grounds, bread, toilet paper...
Adler > In return of the change of sacrifices for foodstuffs, and toiletries, you will gramarye the fields to be forever fertile and produce hardy crops all year round
very clumsily mutter out some half-hearted blessings in order to appease the dummies, I mean, rabbits.

"This is sick," Thomson declared angrily. "We don't want you to sacrifice tender young maidens -"

The rabbit congregation groaned in unison.

"Maybe YOU don't," Burnside quipped.

"Shut up," Thomson snapped. Turning back to the rabbits, she continued: "If you would appease us, we require weekly offerings of crops and produce. Bring us a basket of vegetables, a dozen eggs, a jug of milk, a box of tea ... in return for which, we will ..." She turned to me. "Your Highness, do you think you would be able to cast some Gramerye on their fields to make them fruitful?"

[Image: 0501shrug_zpsg60mauly.gif]

"Sure, I guess so," I replied. "It's theoretically possible."

"NOOOOO," the rabbits moaned. "The Breaker of Ill Winds will put a fetid blight on our crops! Why dost thou persecute us, oh Horned One?"

Quote:either it's a big coincidence, or the rabbits are surprisingly well informed about your past activities. Namely, the title of "Breaker Of Ill Winds" could refer to Adler's episode of the farts
Rabbits are not very imaginative.

"How do these rabbits know about that?" I asked Thomson via Elfmind. "That gassy incident was ages ago, back in Faerie."

"You are a skunk," Thomson replied. "That's probably all it means. Lowfolk are crude and unimaginative."

Quote:>Rabbits: Be keenly aware that these "deities" don't really seem that into your ritual.

[Image: 0501whydispleased_zpsrvshskwe.gif]

"How have we displeased thee?" the filthy twig-covered rabbit beseeched. "Was our sacrifice unworthy?"

"Slay me and erase my shame, I beg thee," the Maiden sobbed.

Quote:Thomson > Ask the filthy priest who gave them the dagger and who else has emerged from the gate? maybe you could figure out who started this

"No!" Thomson insisted. "Where did you get the idea that we wanted sacrificial Maidens? Who else has come through this gate?"

"Thy messengers, the Holy Ladybirds, have told us what thou requirest, Oh Great Horned One," the priest replied obsequiously. "Never before have we beheld thy presence, for usually thou waitest until deepest night so that none may see when thou takest thy sacrifice. How did we provoke thee, that thou camest in mid-day, in full view before the entire congregation, with thy fearsome demons in attendance?"

"Just bring the provisions I asked for, and stop talking," Thomson sighed.

Quote:>Percy: Be thoroughly suggilated.
>you know at this point, you migh as well take Percy with you too
>would it be wise to let a lowfolk like percy in
Alder >Wait, Fey gates must be scattered all over the world. How is percy managing to get to them? You always seem to bump into him

[Image: 0501squab_zpsjz277r4m.gif]

"What about the squab?" Burnside called, as she knelt beside the unconscious Percy le Gobelet. "He looks pretty well tenderized. It'd be a shame to let that go to waste."

"No way," I replied. "We're not eating lowfolk, and by Fuma, we're not bringing any with us as guests into Faerie, especially not him. That guy gives me the creeps. He keeps showing up outside Gates every time I visit the lowfolk world, and I'm not sure how he does it."
The Ballad of Adler Young: Silly furry elf adventure. Read the RECAP:
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Messages In This Thread
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - by a52 - 08-22-2016, 07:26 PM
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - by a52 - 09-08-2016, 04:46 AM
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - by a52 - 09-30-2016, 04:05 AM
RE: The Ballad of Adler Young, Canto 2.5 - by tegerioreo - 05-01-2017, 07:14 PM