Sun Complaints Deparment.

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Sun Complaints Deparment.
#1
Star  Sun Complaints Deparment.
Hot.

Relentless.

Searing.

These are adjectives that well describe the malicious orb of exploding gases that suspends itself daily in our sights, obscuring from view the many other delightfully distant stars that are not nearly so demanding of our attention.

Every complaint herein addressed to the sun shall be written down, rolled into a secure capsule, driven down to the Wallops Flight Facility, and delivered directly to that awful celestial nuisance within a timeframe of 100-365 business days.

We anticipate our grievances to be met with bright indifference, though if a reply is to come at all, we should expect it approximately eight days after receipt of complaints.

Submit your complaints. Make your voices heard.
~◕ w◕~
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#2
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
we g0ts shut this place d0wn. if u had n0 sun, y0ud be n0t existing. we need its heat, we need its light, we need its energy, with0ut the sun with0ut a d0ubt thered be n0 y0u and me
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#3
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
Hey now, just because the sun is 100% necessary for our existence doesn't mean it is exempt from criticism.

I, for one, think that clouds are a step in the right direction, but they don't exactly solve the whole "trillions of more interesting stars" problem, and living on a mountain at midnight is an inconvenient workaround.
(_____/Thank You, Please
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#4
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
Look, if the Sun can't handle criticism after a status quo of several billion years, I think that's just another problem it should be working one.

You know when the sun is at its worst? When it's really cold on a clear day. The sun doesn't prevent you from freezing, it just sits there, mocking you, like, it looks like it should be warm, but it absolutely isn't, so your only choice is to languish in the freezing weather, shivering and suffering.
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#5
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
it has n0 c0ntr0l 0ver humans fucking the envir0ment 0k? its trying its very best :(
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#6
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
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#7
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
it gets in my eyes and i hate it. go away, pain orb. i want my comfortable darkness back.
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#8
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
Too bright. Can we have an equally powerful orb of darkness in the sky to balance it out please?
fyck phytybyckyt
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#9
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
also can the orb of darkness be impossible to look away from instead of impossible to look at directly
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#10
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
I don't think there's a better way to say my thoughts than to use English words (the language I am most familiar with) in linear order, so here you go. " That's rude. Stars don't mean to be stars. They're just trying to get by.
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#11
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
I think, maybe a bit too big? Like, if the sun was smaller, that could be nice.
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#12
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
LET NIGHT CONSUME HELL BALL Trog Demands Blood!
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#13
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
A smaller sun would leave too much room in the ecosystem for Earth.
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#14
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
fuck off pain sphere
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#15
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
I say we make a sun catapult to catapult fuel (And things like leftover spaghetti) into the sun
Local pidgeonmancer
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#16
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
(07-16-2019, 08:52 PM)ProbablyNotRed Wrote: »I say we make a sun catapult to catapult fuel (And things like leftover spaghetti) into the sun
Don't catapult leftover spaghetti! Don't! Give it to me instead, if you don't want it.
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#17
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
The sun is too loud. I can't get to sleep in this racket!
(_____/Thank You, Please
|.:.:.:.:.:./
|_ |_ |_ |_
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#18
RE: Sun Complaints Deparment.
You are too rude to the sun, i will reconstruct your atoms now
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